We all have many different aspects of ourselves: the inner child, negative ego, inner adolescent, the critic, the conscious adult, the inner coach, etc. - who’s driving your bus? Is it the conscious adult aware you? Or have you given the wheel to someone else in the list above? Are they running roughshod through your life, smacking into buildings and ripping up gardens, or are you driving on course with purpose, focus, and empowerment?
An element of taking responsibility for your life is recognizing which part of you is responding, and thus driving the bus, in every given moment. Only you can bring yourself into present time and respond as an adult. If you’re stuck in blame- still blaming mom and dad, blaming your circumstances, blaming others -you are not in your conscious adult; you have let your inner child or adolescent run the show. If you want to be treated like an adult and respected as an adult, you need to take your power back from those parts. You are not a victim to any aspect of your life. This can be hard to realize, but if you’re stuck in blaming, there’s a part of you unwilling to take responsibility. However, you always have a choice as to how you respond, and you can choose differently. Daily, even hourly, you can make different choices that are empowering. That release the past and help you focus on the future. Over a decade ago, I got completely triggered by something someone asked of me. I could tell my inner child was amping up with a vengeance because she was furious with the options presented. I paused the conversation with a brief, “Give me a moment,” excused myself, went into the bathroom, and threw a quiet temper tantrum with silent screaming for a minute or two, getting out all the stuck emotions. I gave my inner child full permission to vent all the reasons she was melting down. When she was done, I moved her aside, pulled myself together, tapped into my power, and came out of the bathroom to handle the situation like an adult. That technique worked so well, that I still use it as needed. And ironically, I was in a class last week and the teacher spoke of almost the exact same technique. So clearly others got the same idea I did and have put it into play. The key is to really go to town and stomp your feet etc., releasing everything negative your inner child, adolescent, or ego feel. Then come back out of the bathroom/room and calmly respond to the situation at hand. If you need more processing than a two-minute tantrum, then tell the other person you need to sit with what they said and walk away to work through the issue. This also is true of emails or texts- don’t respond out of emotional reactivity! Have adult you take the wheel. Your life is precious. Stop wasting it allowing the past to control and dictate your behavior; take conscious responsibility and choose how to spend your time and energy. The choice is yours.
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I’ve taught this to many of you over the years, but lately it’s been coming up more often, so I figured I would put it out there for everyone.
This is a technique to help you own a new space- house, apartment, or temporary living situation- by infusing it your energy. When you claim a space as yours, it helps you to feel more grounded and safe within that space. It will also help you settle in much more quickly. And even though I said it's for a "new" space, you can use it for your current one, especially if you've never felt settled there. I once had a client use this technique in a theatre where she was performing. It helped her be more present and comfortable on stage. So while it's usually used for a living situation, feel free to get creative as you need. Here’s how you do it: First, walk around the space and notice the layout: all the corners in all rooms and each room’s general shape. When you can visualize that clearly, then either literally or figuratively, depending on if it's possible, stand wherever the center of the house or apartment etc. is. Starting in whichever room you want, begin to imagine golden cords of light, like a rope, streaming towards you from each upper corner of that room, down and into your dominant hand. Then imagine ropes/cords of light coming from every bottom corner of that same room, and into your dominant hand. When you’ve finished one room, move on to the next, all the while staying stationary in the approximate center of the house. As you gather the cords, it should look as if you’re holding strings from a huge bunch of balloons. As you practice and get better at this technique, it becomes easier to stand in the center of the house and imagine these cords coming to you. However, if you’re in a space with many odd shaped rooms and the way I described seems too hard, you can also do the technique in one room at a time, gathering your cords, while walking from room to room. For some, this is a preferred method in that as you walk the space, you really see the outline of the house/apartment and are able to inhabit it more fully. After you've been in every room, while holding your bunch of cords, then move to the center of the overall space. Once you have all the cords gathered in your hand, with complete authority and ownership claim, “my space!” and lift your hand and slam those cords down into the center of the planet. Imagine them going all the way down to the core of the planet and rooting/anchoring in. Let go of the cords. Now imagine/visualize a golden light emanating from each corner of the whole house/apartment, expanding out to create a ball of light around the outside of the overall space. Your energy is now able to fill the rooms and the entire space. If you’re in an apartment building, only do this for your apartment, not the whole building. Let the ball surrounding the space only surround your apartment. If you live with others, when it comes time to claim the space, claim it in the name of each of you. Even though you’re doing the visualizing, before grounding those cords say, “I claim this space in my name and the name(s) of…” If you don’t add them in, generally it’s not an issue, but sometimes your energy can become so dominant in the space, that the others who live there will feel squished and irritable without knowing why. So be respectful. May this bring increased harmony to your living situation! Today I’m sharing a technique for those occasions when you’re undecided between two options. I know I recently wrote a blog about what could be underneath indecision (see here), and truly we always know the answer inside, but sometimes stuff gets in the way of us accessing that knowing. When faced with choices that seemingly could be good for different reasons, here’s a way to gain clarity. This will help you feel your intuition’s wisdom.
You can use this for a job, a move, - really anything. Here’s what you do: Set aside two chairs, side by side with a good amount of space between them. Grab two small pieces of paper and a pen. On one piece of paper, write the name of one option. Keep it simple, just the title you want to give it. While you’re holding that paper, think about all the different aspects of that particular option. For example, if it’s a job, infuse it with the location, the people who’ve met so far, your title- anything you know already. Think about all of that and imagine that energy flowing into the paper. When you’ve really infused it with every aspect of that option, set it down on a chair. Then pick up the other piece of paper and do the same thing with the second option. Put it on a different chair. Now, close your eyes and while standing or sitting on a chair without any paper on it, feel your feet on the floor. Imagine roots growing from your feet down into the center of the planet and imagine a strong root/cord/tree trunk growing from your tailbone down to the center of the planet. Hook those roots from both areas in. Bring your attention back to your body. Pull all of your energy tightly into the center of your body with every inhale.* Put your hand over your stomach and sink your awareness there. We want your gut wisdom engaged, not your conscious mind. Take a few deep breaths. When you’re ready, open your eyes, pick up your papers, shuffle them without looking, and then place them face down on each chair. This will prevent any pre-conceived ideas about which choice is “right,” as well as any negative ego interference. Once you have both pieces of paper on different chairs, sit down on one of the chairs, and notice either overt, or subtle things, that you start feeling. Does your body feel lighter? Heavier? Do you feel happy? Angry? Do you want to stay seated or are you wanting to get up quickly? Notice everything that comes up, even the very faint sensations. Nothing happening can be a sign too. Or it can mean you’re over-thinking and not feeling. You’ll know which it is when you move on to chair two. When you’ve gotten some awareness, stand up, and literally shake off that energy. Move your whole body: shake out your arms and legs and even jump a couple times. Then ask yourself to come back to neutral. Briefly ground again, breath, center, then tap your heart area and drink some water. When you’re neutral, sit on the next chair and do the same thing; notice what comes up. If on both chairs you feel nothing, then you’re not in your body. You need to root in and open your gut intuition to receive your answers. Ground more deeply or do something physical to anchor into yourself. Then try again. Be patient, maybe you’re out of body more than you realize. That itself is a good message to receive. Even if it’s subtle, you should be able to tell which chair you prefer to sit on. That will be your answer. Your gut intuition will not lie when it comes to sitting on the energy. Your innate intelligence knows the answer, let it speak. When you’ve chosen which chair you prefer, turn the papers over and see the answer. By the way, sometimes you might be bummed with the answer. What a clue! You knew all along what you wanted. But your body isn’t lying so either you misinterpreted something, or your need to explore one option is stronger than what your gut says. In those cases, just know that going in. As you work with this, let me know if you have any questions. May this bring you incredible clarity and insights. * See previous blogs on grounding if you're unfamiliar with how to do what I'm describing. |
AuthorMe, Tina Germain, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be! Archives
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