This has come up a lot lately so I want to remind you all: sometimes it takes time to see the changes in your reality that you’ve been working to create.
After you’ve made big changes, something may appear to trigger old wounds. Negative ego kickback? Possibly. Or, your subconscious is so used to showing you a reality reflective of your wound, that it hasn’t quite gotten the memo yet.
There are mounds of corroborating evidence for the old belief/pattern/way of being, and not much yet to support the new.
Here’s an example: let’s say you’ve worked to overcome a belief that you have to do it all yourself and that you can’t rely on others. You’ve instilled a belief; “It’s safe for me to be. I now elegantly receive all the help and support I need.”
You’ve done the work to clear the old and implement the new. You’re excited for your new reality. You really feel ready to receive support. And then, you ask for help, and … crickets… no one steps up.
Maybe you go right to anger: “See, I knew I’d have to do it all. No one is there for me!” Ok- that’s not helping and all it does is affirm the old that you so diligently worked to change.
Instead, stop, breathe, and say gently or with humor (humor always defuses the intense emotion), “Hey subconscious, I know my whole life I’ve had this pattern/belief but we’re changing that. Remember I instilled a new program. What I’m choosing to see is a reality of X (in the example above, it would be that of being supported). Show me a reality in which that manifests.”
It’s vital to catch it; you cannot allow the old emotions to triumph. That will simply feed your negative ego and hook you back into the past. Thus, doing it with humor if needed.
By saying, “Show me a reality in which…,” you’re affirming the new and where you want to head. It pulls you into the future and out of past traumas.
You’re also bringing in the power of choice, “I choose to see a reality in which…” Conscious choice always beats subconscious programming.
Think of it like this: it’s as if your subconscious was always a garbage collector and suddenly you want it to be an impressionist painter. Do-able? Absolutely. But again, sometimes it takes time and repeated focus on what you do want, versus what you don’t.
So the next time an old wound surfaces, stop, breathe, and talk to your subconscious. Empower yourself in your reality and in the future you’re creating.
Me, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!