One of the most powerful things I’ve ever trained myself to do in any given situation, is to respond, rather than react.
Reacting is a knee-jerk emotional response, whereas responding can be a grounded, present time choice. When we react, we allow our emotions to dictate our communications. These emotions may have stemmed from past traumas or wounds. Reactivity lacks clarity because again, it’s based on a strong emotion. The thing or person “upsetting” us holds the cards. When another can influence our moods and behavior that greatly, we’ve given away our power to it/them. Plus, we leave present time, because we may be reacting from child or adolescent pain, or the way we saw the adults around us speaking when we were young. To be empowered, one cannot react from their wounds. Whereas when we respond, we can have a much more non-emotional, thoughtful thing to say. We can choose our words. We can choose to respond or not. We aren’t beholden to the person or thing in front of us; we retain our present time power. Most importantly, responding is taking responsibility for our communications and impact. Feel it in your body right now. If someone says something triggering and every part of you wants to lash out back at them, can you feel how that takes you out of yourself and engages you in a battle? Whereas if they say something upsetting and you take a moment to center back into yourself and breathe, to either respond or choose to walk away and respond later, how much more empowering that is? You own your power in that situation rather than giving it up to another by your emotional reaction. Is this easy? Not necessarily! But it is doable. And it’s something that we need to train ourselves in. Meaning, we train ourselves to stop and breathe before sending that email, shooting off that text, lashing out at something someone said to us. When we are calm, we train ourselves to breathe first before any and all communications- good or bad. The more we train ourselves to breathe and ground before responding, the more likely we will be to respond from an empowered place, rather than react from any emotional one. This is also how we keep your inner child and adolescent from interfering in our present time reality. I’m not saying you ignore your emotions. You vent them in a responsible way- meaning you write out what you really want to say on paper, in a blank email, or a blank note on your phone, to release all the emotions being stirred up. You say everything mean thing you’re thinking. And then you delete that email or note, or you shred that piece of paper. But you do NOT send it. You get up and walk away. The longer you can sit with it, the better. Breathe. Go for a walk or at least step outside for a moment. Clear your head. Ground. Feel your feet on the floor. Center your awareness into yourself in present time. You take as much time as you need to respond, and only do so when you can write from a grounded, adult perspective. If you’re in front of someone and you’re triggered, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. I totally do this. I silent scream or throw a silent temper tantrum to release the energy out of my body. Then I ground, center, and come out of the bathroom, able to respond as an adult, in present time. Again, this is the most empowered form of communication because it’s based on us being accountable for our response and our emotions, and creating calm, rather than amplifying any anger or hurt. Try it, and notice how by your shift, all communications around you are elevated and become more respectful. It starts with you. Link to the YouTube I created for you on this subject.
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On the Abraham Hicks Emotional Guidance Scale, appreciation has the highest emotional frequency, along with love and joy. It’s an uplifting energy that’s incredibly expansive; meaning the more you appreciate, the more there is to appreciate.
While appreciation and gratitude can go hand in hand, they’re different. According to Google, gratitude “is a feeling of thankfulness,” whereas appreciation “is the recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something.” I wrote about appreciation in a 2019 blog with a micro-meditation. I recently listened to an interview with Jack Canfield who reminded me of its power. So today, I have for you a new meditation, similar to the 2019 version, but this one is designed to raise your resonance and vibration even higher than the previous one. Sarah Kristenson says, “Appreciation gives others specific recognition for their part in your happiness or success. If you want to improve a relationship with anyone, show them appreciation.” And from my perspective, that includes yourself and your body. Thus, I added appreciation for specific areas of the body in the meditation, something I started doing for myself that has had wonderfully positive effects. I highly encourage you to listen to this before doing any manifestation techniques as it will elevate that which you’re looking to create. And a huge shout of appreciation to my dear friend Sheva Carr, the architect and Director of HeartMath’s HeartMastery Program for teaching me the basis of this technique. Enjoy! Appreciation Meditation Link Well over a decade ago after I had gone through a very painful miscarriage, my girlfriend Heather asked me a question that was so beautiful in its compassion, it left me speechless.
She said to me, “How can I best support you right now?” At the time, even though I thought I didn’t know what I needed, after a moment my answer was, “space and quiet.” The profound power of that question has stuck with me. We don’t need to fix it or make it better for others. We need to meet them where they’re at, not where we want them to be. Sitting in compassionate understanding is the best gift we can give to someone we love who is in emotional pain and going through a rough time. By allowing another the space to process their emotions in their timing, we’re honoring them. So ask, “How can I best support you right now?” And depending on the circumstances, you can add, “Do you need me to just listen as you vent? Or do you need a cheerleader, a hug, or something else?” Then be willing to act on what they ask, and only what they ask, regardless of whether you think they need more. That is highest expression of holding space for others. Be that love for another. I’ve been writing and editing a book (yay!) which is why I've been coming to your inbox every other week more recently, but you're going to start seeing me weekly again. For the most part.
I understand the importance of consistency in any endeavor one may undertake and simultaneously, if you're exhausted, if you need extra recovery, that comes first. It's OK to say no to your commitments. It's OK to step back and give yourself more time downtime if that's what you need. Honor your cadence. You don't have to do it all. Rules can be arbitrary. You make the rules for your life, and you can change those rules at any point. The time I spent focusing on my creativity and limiting my commitments was needed to conserve my energy and focus. And it really taught me that if at any point I feel that I need a week off, I will take that week off. Remember, you are the boss of your own reality. As Danielle LaPorte says, "Rest because you Love- yourself, your body, your mind, the world. Rest because there is always more beautiful work to be done. Rest to become stronger. Rest to become wiser. Rest is love." This brilliant and easy technique comes from my friend Diane Serraino. Years ago, when she was dating, she would use it before every date to see the truth of the guy’s character, thus saving herself time and heartache.
The phrase is: “Truth be known, Truth be shown, Show me the Highest Truth of ____ (fill in the name)” Now inevitably, the guy would be mean to the waiter or say something totally inappropriate- something that showed who he really was. Every so often, a guy would get to the second date, but then do or say something telling. And not from nerves, but from showing his character. You can use this before business meetings or when interviewing people to work with. Really anytime you want to see the truth of another. The key is to believe the information that's presented to you. Don’t think it’s a fluke or justify it away. As Oprah says, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” May this help you tremendously and bring you answers quickly! There's been a theme of personal crisis in sessions this week and last week, with traumas front and center. Many of us are feeling the intensity of these times. The energy of change is causing us to feel unsettled, confused, at our limit, and like everything is upside down.
As my fellow healer Brynne Dippell says, “Great change is upon us. Massive, fundamental change, in which the very foundations of our lives are shaking apart.” If you're not feeling what I named above, just save this blog for if you ever need it. If you are, know that you're not alone. I created a new YouTube to help with panic attacks. It’ll help anxiety and fear too. You don't have to be in the midst of a panic attack to listen, you can use it whenever you’re feeling out of sorts. For those of you who prefer to read rather than watching, the process is below. For all of you, be extra gentle with yourself and rest as often as needed. Self-care is a priority when the chaos gets amplified and boy oh boy is it amplified! Process to heal Panic Attacks, Fear, and Anxiety: ~Put one hand over your forehead and one over the back of your neck. This will calm the vagus nerve, your fight or flight response. (To learn more, click here) ~Breathe. ~Squeeze your toes. ~Look at the clock. State the time and the date out loud. State your name and age out loud. This will begin to bring you into present time. ~Touch the place of panic. Maybe the heart or stomach- it could be anywhere, or a combination of places. Begin to gently tap the place/places. Then say to that area, “Body, we are safe. In present moment present time, we can be safe.” ~Do the left ear tapping (click here for a reminder). ~Imagine roots growing from your feet, deep into the earth. Imagine a huge tree trunk growing from the base of your spine to the center of the planet, where it will hook in. Imagine all the frenetic energy in your body releasing down these grounding cords, helping to soothe and calm your body. ~Now imagine yourself cocooned in a huge, beautiful ball of light of your favorite color. As if you’re in the middle of a snow globe. Allow this cocoon of light to hold your body in a safe and sacred space. ~Breathe deeply into the abdomen, as best you can. Place one hand on your lower abdomen and on the inhale, extend your lower abdomen outward. On the exhale, allow your abdomen to relax. Do this a few times. ~Tapping again, let’s Ho'oponopono the area holding the anxiety, fear, or panic. Say to that area: “I love you body. I'm so sorry we're experiencing this energy. I forgive and release whatever is stuck here. Thank you for helping me.” Repeat that. ~Still tapping, say: “It's safe for me to come back to myself, even in the midst of panic. It's safe for me to connect to myself, even in the midst of this panic. It's safe for me to love myself, even in the midst of this panic. It's safe for me to begin to anchor back into my body, even in the midst of this panic." ~Feel that grounding cord and if it would help, imagine that grounding cord growing upwards, encasing your whole body in a rooted place of safety. For some, that will feel soothing and calming, for others, restrictive. Do what’s right for you! ~ Continuing to tap, say: “I take my power back from this panic. I choose to begin to feel safe. I choose to experience safety in present time. It's safe for me to ground out all of this remaining panic now. Even if I don't have all the answers, it's safe for me to begin to root into my body in present time. I forgive and release all of this energy that’s stirred up and I choose to ground it out now. I forgive and release anything tying me to the past and I choose to ground it out now. I forgive and release anything creating panic from the future, and I choose to anchor into the now.” ~If you can’t connect to yourself or your body yet, that’s ok. Imagine you’re under a beautiful blue waterfall of light- your favorite shade of blue. Let it flow down your nervous system and throughout your entire body, flushing out any energies that aren’t allowing a state of calm. Anything that no longer serves you. Close your eyes and feel that waterfall helping you match a state of calm. Do this for as long as you need. Let it run through the muscles as well, releasing any tension. ~If the area is still amped up, tap the area of upset again. Say, “I love and accept you.” Whatever you can’t accept will get stuck like glue in your space. So even though it doesn’t feel good, the energy of acceptance will begin to dissipate it. Whatever got stirred up is scared; we want to soothe those parts of ourselves. ~Continue tapping and saying out loud: “You are not bad and wrong. You are worthy and deserving of love. I love and accept you. I forgive and release whatever remaining energy is stuck here, keeping me separate from myself. I love and accept myself.” Even if you hear parts of you opposing your words, say them anyway. Repeat multiple times. ~Wrap yourself in a hug. Literally put your arms around yourself and hug yourself. Then rub your arms and legs. When you panic, you swirl up and out of your body. Touch will help bring you in. ~If there’s still residue, go take a walk or an Epsom salt bath. Do something that feels good to you. You can also use Bach flower remedies. Skip to the 15 minute mark in the video and I show you 3 different ones that are beautifully effective! May this help you tremendously!! As today is Valentine’s Day, no matter what your romantic situation is, claim this day for YOU!
If you’re in pain romantically, create the day as a day of self-love. Do something nice for yourself. If you’re with a partner- do the same. Don’t put pressure on another to give you the “perfect” day or night. Create self-love first! Ask yourself this question: “The most self-loving thing I can do for myself, would be to…” And then listen to and honor the response. If you want to take this concept further, read my blog from 2023 here. Have a beautiful, self-loving day!! Last week, with the upcoming storm due to hit Los Angeles, I found my imagination going to worst-case scenarios. The fear from the media got under my skin, which is interesting phrasing when you think about things getting “under your skin.” That means it was able to make it through my boundaries, through all the layers of my aura, and into the core of me.
That fired me up with a “Hell no!” which led to me taking my power back and further saying, “I refuse that energy!” With that though, I needed to discover why I was vulnerable, and I realized my inner child was fueling the fear. Everything in my reality felt too out of control with unknowns for her, thus creating dread. Meditatively, I went in and asked her to show me what was happening in her reality, that felt out of control with unknowns. I found myself in my childhood bedroom, where I was tormented by ghosts at night. I saw her, as I used to be, surrounded by every stuffed animal possible, keeping her in a protective circle to ward off the dark energies. With zero judgment and complete compassion, I allowed her to express her fears from her perspective. I let her talk and talk until she felt complete. Then I spoke to her and told her that while we couldn't do anything when we were little, now I could make a difference. I could shine the light of Divine energy on the monsters under the bed and in the closet and banish them. I could fill the tendril of fear that had infiltrated her little mind with the brightest golden light I could imagine, thus erasing it. And then I could pick up her up and integrate her into present time Me. She loved these ideas, and I did them, while I held her, keeping her safe. Showing her the monsters will no longer have power over her. With her in my arms, I grounded myself in present time, reminding myself that I'm always being taken care of, and that I'm choosing love (rather than fear) and an outcome of safety. Then I ran beautiful golden light down my nervous system to calm my body, while integrating her into my heart. As the storm raged, I proclaimed as often as I needed, that I chose to see safety and love, while imagining a blanket of those energies over our house and our street. And wouldn’t you know it, our house and street fared beautifully, and my inner child was happily at peace in her new safe place in my heart. It’s winter, at least here in the Northern Hemisphere, and that means time for hibernation.
If you're in a cold climate, it's easier to see that the trees are bare, but they're not dead. They're resting up for when they burst forth all their blooms in the spring. In colder climates, it’s also easier to create more down time and going within- both literally and figuratively- because the weather demands it. Those in warmer climates need to actively allow hibernation time. This is a time of energy conservation, rather than expenditure. Right after the holidays, I felt spent. I figured I’d bounce back quickly, but no, I needed a lot more rest. I felt confused, had zero motivation, nor clear direction. Instead of rushing through the feelings of confusion and uncertainty, trying to “fix” them, I sat with them, allowed them, and didn’t try to make them go away. If anything, I owned and accepted them. And believe me, usually I like to figure out what’s going on and quickly process through it. But I didn’t. I gave myself permission to fully embrace inner rest and hibernation. Doing this did an interesting thing. After a couple weeks, creative thoughts started to come at random times. I started to feel a tad more motivated. And I became a bit clearer on my direction. You can't get clear on your priorities and recharge if you’re always moving from one thing to the next. If you’re, as U2 so brilliantly said, “Running to stand still.” But, if you take the time to stop, to pause, and to rest, you can replenish your creative well and energy reserves. You can decide what to focus your attention on. You can become inspired. Life isn't a competition, nor a race. If you pause when you need to, you won't miss out on anything. The idea that you will is a great lie of the negative ego. And listen, right now if you're super motivated and inspired and you’re expending energy, there’s nothing wrong with that. We all have to follow our own personal rhythm. If you're in a period of Spring having already sprung, then be aware of when you too need to step back and hibernate. For those feeling the need to go within, honor that as you're matching the season. As for me, I'm still in hibernation mode. There are small steps I’m taking, but I’m not fully recharged yet. That’ll come; I’m not rushing it. It’s still winter. Happy 2024!!!
I wish for you a SPECTACULAR year filled with incredible health, happiness, success, joy, laughter, fun, adventures, and love. The cards were loud for a New Year pull. Plus, an 8th card made an appearance! (Not surprised as 2024 is an “8” year) I asked what you most needed to know or work on as we enter 2024. Interestingly, 4 of the 8 cards literally jumped out of their decks as I was shuffling. That doesn’t typically happen for me. Clearly they were insistent! Plus, my tarot deck wanted to join the party, but only the Major Arcana. For the two different numbers that chose the Tarot, the cards are more than what you need to know as we enter the year, they told me they are your theme for the next six months. As always, ground yourself before pulling and check in with your gut as to which card is right for you today. Don’t automatically pull your favorite number. Happy choosing and may this be your best year yet! Card One Card Two Card Three Card Four Card Five Card Six Card Seven Card Eight |
AuthorMe, Tina Germain, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be! Archives
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