Detaching From a Fear Spiral
To further the discussion from last week regarding emotions and stories, I had a morning recently when fear was loud, and I knew I needed to change the frequency before it spiraled out of control.
I started by acknowledging it and saying, “Hey fear, I hear you, I feel you, and I'm not going down that road.”
I could still hear it, so I then gently added, “Stop it.”
I took some deep breaths, grounded myself to the center of the planet, then imagined dropping the fear out of my body and aura. I imagined the heaviness of that emotion, like a lead weight, dropping deep into the ground to be transmuted. I kept dropping it until I felt lighter.
Simultaneously, I chose not to engage the story it was trying to tell. That’s the mental spin and the opposite, the healing, is full presence and connection to earth energy. I ran slow, calming, brown earth energy through my body. (previous blog)
As that was soothing my body, I took my power back from fear. (previous blog)
I then asked myself, “What do I choose to experience instead?”
Depending on the fear, you’ll know what you need. It could be a sense of having or being enough, safety, radiant health, peace etc.
I created a simple statement to augment what I chose in place of the fear and kept repeating the new statement.
For example: “I am safe.”
“My body is now healing beautifully.”
“There is always enough money (or time).”
“Everything is now falling into place easily and elegantly.”
“I am safe, even when facing the unknown.”
I kept breathing out any remaining fear, while grounding in present time and stating my name, the date, and the time. I also tapped around my left ear to re-set my brain and nervous system (video reminder here).
Once the fear released and I felt calm, I acknowledged that present and future me is in charge, not fear. So again, using the power of choice, I asked, “What am I choosing to draw to me?”
I got a vision of the future I wanted in place of the fearful future. That could be an image of you as healthy, safe, or financially secure etc. Whatever issue fear was stirring up, see its exact opposite reality and imagine grabbing it from the future, and pulling it into the now.
Then feel fully the feelings of peace, safety, health, enoughness, or happiness, and let what you desire be the only feelings you feel.
I know sometimes fear feels bigger than you but it’s not. The more quickly you catch it as it’s building, the more you stop the production of stress hormones and re-wire your neural pathways to allow less of it in the future. Think of it as a train that you refuse to let leave the station. You have the power to stop a fear spiral.
Typically, I like to understand why I’m feeling the way I am such as, “Why am I in a bad mood? What got triggered? Where does this feeling come from?”
But part of what I've been working on, is how to simply be with whatever is occurring, without diving into the details. Staying in my body, rather than spinning in mental thoughts.
That can be difficult. But I also realize that it’s a hook. Needing to know and understand hooks me back into the story or the wound or the emotional trauma that’s surfacing, thus taking me out of the present moment. It’s a way to think the emotion, versus feel it.
I had to put this into play when I unexpectedly felt intense anger the other night. It was so out of the blue and had nothing to do with what was going on. I knew that an old wound must have inadvertently gotten opened because it felt so out of present time. All I could do was be with it.
-First, I made sure to be responsible with my anger, which meant going somewhere private, so I didn’t negatively impact those around me. I acknowledged, allowed, and felt the anger fully, without judgment.
-Then I grounded myself in present time. I also stated my name, the date, and the time out loud, which is an easy way to pull yourself into the now.
-Finally, I sent myself love. I loved myself even though I was triggered. I loved all the parts of me that were clearly upset. I opened my heart for self-compassion and kept bringing myself into the present moment, while acknowledging that I was safe.
The more I did that, the calmer I got, and the more the emotion dissipated.
I still don't know what triggered the anger, and I consciously chose not to “figure it out.” I've been working to neutralize old pain, versus stir it back up by reiterating an old story. It has no bearing on my present unless I allow it to, nor is it something I want to continue creating in my future. Therefore, releasing the layers as they surface, and choosing to experience more peace instead.
Remember, your power lies in your body, in present time. Not in the mental spin. Be free of the past by staying in the present.
Accomplish More, by Doing Less
I was “supposed to” send out my blog last week, but I was extremely wiped out and needed a day to completely decompress. I had most of it written, but the thought of editing was just one thing too many. It felt wonderful giving myself permission to put myself first. And simultaneously, there was that little nagging voice later in the day that said I “should” follow through with my commitments.
But isn’t my commitment to my well-being the priority? I think so.
Luckily, I’m familiar with, and have worked on the “doing” voice, so I didn’t allow it to take over. I dismissed it into silence by proclaiming with authority that my sanity comes first. Plus, since I created the schedule, I could alter it. I owned my choice in a calm, but empowered voice, that ended all further discussion.
The voice of “doing” can be loud or subtle. It’s the voice that says what you’re doing isn’t enough, you have to do more, and that your value is based on what you accomplish. Or it may say people are counting on you and you can’t let them down. It will find whatever excuse or guilt is needed to keep you in motion and agreeing to commitments when really, you need to stop and allow yourself breathing room.
It’s part of our culture; the “go, go, go” energy that is valued and prized. However, that “busy” energy keeps you from being present and in the moment, as well as preventing you from slowing down and creating balance.
A more insidious example is that I used to love multitasking. I felt pride at how many things I could “do” simultaneously. Then I started getting even more grounded than I used to be. The more grounded I was, the more I realized that multitasking wasn’t serving me.
It didn’t feel good as having my focus in multiple places would rev up my energy and amp me out of my body. Plus, when my focus was fractured, I would sometimes feel like I was missing something that was said, which I was. The biggest lightbulb for me though, was realizing how draining multitasking can be. It’s not just singular “doing,” it’s “doing” on steroids.
Part of the reason it’s draining, besides knocking you out of your body, is it's like when you have too many windows open on your computer. The computer can't run at its optimal level because it's got all these open files pulling at the battery and depleting it. Whereas if you've only got one window open, your computer can focus there while keeping most of the battery intact.
Notice if you have too many files open. Too many places that gather your attention. You don’t need to know what they are, but you can ask to close them down.
Ask your conscious mind to close all files running. Then ground yourself and focus on the task at hand.
There’s tremendous power in being present with one task at a time. Plus, then you become aware more easily of when you’ve reached your limit and need to just “be” for a while. Which is ultimately an act of self-love.
I’m glad I took the extra time off for myself. I came back from my decompression time more alert and energized, looking at everything from a new perspective, and with much more flow. Give yourself that gift as often as you need.
Oracle Cards and Gemstones
It’s your favorite time; Oracle Cards!!
Boy were they screaming to be pulled a few days before Spring Equinox! This time, something new was very vocal as well.
I heard that instead of just what color you’re drawn to, choose which gemstone speaks to you. It has the properties you most need right now during this time before Summer Solstice.
It was strongly suggested that you infuse your energy field (aura) with your gemstone. For instance, if Rubies are calling to you, imagine your whole aura filled with beautiful Rubies and allow the property of Rubies to be an attractor to bring forth the healing needed.
You can even use the gemstone as a grounding cord, and infuse it into the chakra corresponding to that color.
Each color not only has the gemstone message, but an Oracle message as well. Once the specific gemstone for each color made itself known, then the Oracle card was pulled.
Interestingly as you’ll see below, Sapphires were predominant. Sapphires are known as the “wisdom stone.”
As usual, sit with your choice before picking your usual color. Which gemstone has the message you most need through the Oracle card and gemstone meaning?
Happy picking, and let me know if your gemstone and card resonates with you!
Daring To Be Yourself
One of the greatest freedoms is the freedom to be yourself, fully and completely, regardless of what others will think. I’m not talking about being irresponsible and doing whatever you desire at the cost of others. I’m talking about showing the truth of you; your style, your preferences, your quirkiness, your uniqueness- you!
To some, that idea is appalling as what others think is paramount. And I get it. Many of us were raised with the idea of, “what will people think?!”
That can be a hard issue to overcome. I know I had to release layers of self-consciousness and worry over something someone else might be thinking. While also releasing the subconscious message of perfection that quite frankly, is unattainable and certainly not fun.
The more I worked through it while getting comfortable and confident in my skin, the more I realized if someone else has an issue, that’s their problem.
If it makes you happy and isn’t harming anyone, then live your life.
You need to dare to be yourself.
Here’s a simple example: I love stickers. A card isn't a card without stickers. I had always done it for friends, but then I expanded it to holiday cards. I spend a crazy amount at the sticker store- yes there is a sticker store in LA- and I use stickers on everyone's card. Do I know some people make fun of me? Yes. Do I care? Hell no- it's stickers and if someone is too proper and uptight to appreciate my stickers, that's their issue, not mine. If I can spread joy to anyone, why wouldn't I? Plus, it's fun- stickers are fun!
This is what I mean. No one would ever call me cool, and I have no problem with that. Cool requires a lot of work and my time is better spent.
I bring this up today as it’s been coming up in sessions lately; how to own the fullness and richness of your true self. Recognizing your value and what you bring to the table when you’re authentic.
If this issue triggers you, don’t judge it, simply ask, “what’s the worst that could happen if I showed up authentically?” Then listen to or write out the answers. Maybe you’re afraid of being laughed at, ostracized, or rejected. Quite possibly, there are those in your life who would respond that way. But if you’re always living to please another, you’re shrinking your own light and gifts of what you bring to the world. Don’t do that. Work through your fears, clear the pain of past incidents from childhood or adolescence, and then honor your current truth. In baby steps to make it easier and less scary.
When you own who you truly are from a place of empowerment, you find it's a lot more fun to be real than to be perfect. Dare to show your true self.
Love Is All There Is
Recently I got stuck for a few days, swirling in a mental loop of lack. Everything I thought about was from a mindset of “not enough.” No matter what I did or focused on, I couldn’t shift it at its core.
After asking my unseen team for help, I was in the shower (I always get insights and ah-has in the shower), and the power of love popped into my mind. I then thought,
“If love is all there is, why am I playing in a frequency of fear and lack?”
That one question shifted everything. I took my power back from my victim mindset (that something outside me has power over me), and immediately put myself into a frequency of love. I focused only on love. Not necessarily things or people I love, although that did augment the feeling, but the uplifting energy of love itself. I felt the power of love with every fiber of my being and refused anything less than that.
The focus on lack came from an old wound that clearly surfaced to be healed. Once I stopped judging it and myself, I could send love into the wounded places in myself, healing them. I could release what no longer served me, to move towards a future that does.
Being the love, I could talk to my inner child and calm her fears, while also bringing my nervous system into present time.
If I had stayed in fear, none of that would’ve been possible.
It’s not a one and done. I now remind myself each morning to come from love first, and to look at beautiful possibilities, rather than fears. That shift in perspective is instantly uplifting. You can further that with a mantra from Rev. Michael Beckwith, “Something good is about to happen.”
Also add in the self-love question I posed in the blog two weeks ago.
I encourage you to see if there’s an area in your life right now that has an absence of love. You can identify it by anywhere you hold fear, resentment, hurt, blame, conflict, anger, or powerlessness. Take a moment and fill that space with love. Take your power back from the pain and be love.
Imagine yourself and the situation bathed in the light of love. Elevate it beyond what you can imagine. That’s the transformative power of love; it can create miracles where previously you couldn’t see any.
During my morning meditation recently, I found myself thinking about something I wanted to receive. As I thought about what I desired, I realized that nobody was holding me back, except for myself. Without knowing the how’s or the details of manifesting what I wanted, I opened my heart and felt the energy of self-love and then expanded the feeling to encompass me.
I sat in that resonance for a moment with the awareness that allowing the Universe to help me receive what I was desiring, was an act of incredible self-love.
Later that day, I was tired and started to create a somewhat half assed version of a shield for my space. As my morning insight popped in mid-creation, I realized that the most self-loving thing I could do in that moment, would be to create really strong boundaries. Which as I did, felt like a beautiful gift to myself. This led to me asking the question repeatedly throughout my day and listening to the response.
“The most self-loving thing I could do would be to (fill in the blank).”
The responses might be:
-Take a bath.
-Take a walk outside.
-Read a book.
-Take a nap.
-Process my emotions.
-Bring the energy of enthusiasm to my workday.
-Motivate to do that creative project I’ve been wanting to do.
-Say no to that event. Or say yes.
It will change moment by moment. But notice how things shift when you honor your needs. Even if rational thought is telling you otherwise. For example, there was a day recently when I felt very strongly that I needed to go outside for a walk and take a bath after. However, my to-do list was huge that day. I listened to my heart, and I took a walk because it was calling to me so loudly. It felt amazing and I was grateful I listened to myself. However, when I came home, my rational mind started listing everything that needed to be done with the idea that I didn't have time for a bath. And yet, I could feel deeply again that taking the bath would be the most self-loving thing I could do.
I had to silence the opposition voice, even though it was extremely loud, and go to the self-loving voice that wisely knew that in that moment, a bath could do more for me than starting in on my to-do list. Sure enough, my to-do list was much easier to tackle after the bath because I had shifted my resonance after a morning of self-love.
If you want to take this a step farther, look at the bigger things you’re desiring and make a list.
“The most self-loving thing I could do would be to …”
-Free myself from the past.
-Create better health.
-Forgive myself for…
-Take my power back from...
-Heal my relationship with…
-Release myself from the energy of struggle.
-Allow more ease.
-Create more joy.
Keep the list somewhere that you can read daily for a month to reaffirm to your subconscious that this is what you're choosing to receive and create. Because you love yourself. Because you deserve what will augment that self-love.
Again, don’t worry about how it’ll manifest. Just sit in the frequency of self-love. Let it literally infuse every part of you. Feel your heart open and pour all that love that you're capable of, into yourself. If you can't imagine what that feels like, think of anything that opens your heart and turn that feeling towards yourself.
The most loving you can do, is to create self-love first.
I recently saw a quote, the beginning of which said, “You are the master of your destiny.”
I’ve always heard and subscribed to the belief that “you create your reality,” so the phrasing above really stood out to me as a different way of saying the same thing.
You are the master of your destiny.
Sit with this.
I hear you, “I get it but -” But what? You are the master of your destiny- and then things happen to you? You are the master of your destiny- but you're not really in charge, other people are? You are the master of your destiny- sometimes?
It can be hard if you grew up with the mindset that you can be subjugated by others or at the mercy of the world. Which is another way of saying, victimized by. That can be insidious. Maybe you don't consider yourself a victim, but there are certain areas in life that trip you up and that you feel you have no power over. But if you have no power, you're powerless which puts you in victim mode. Not pleasant to acknowledge but don't judge it, it just is. Almost everyone has those areas. The “I create my reality, except when...”
Theory and practice are two different things. You may understand this in theory, but as far as practical application, you're still sorting that out.
Start by observing and noticing. Where do you still lose your power? Where do you not feel that you are the master of your destiny? From a place of neutrality, question why that is. By your observation you bring attention and by your attention you start to heal it.
Then take your power back and create your reality moment by moment in your beliefs, your perspective, your attitude, and your emotions. Live from a new and empowered place.
As the full quote says:
“You Are The Master of Your Destiny
* Quote from The NOW Massage.
When I was first learning how to clear haunted houses, we were told to laugh at the ghosts or to stay super light-hearted and laugh within ourselves. The reason being, when you can laugh at something, no matter how dark it is, it cannot have power over you. It cannot get the upper hand.
The ghosts in the houses I cleared hated that by the way. They would get meaner and nastier the more I laughed out loud and said things in a funny voice such as, “Oh you’re sooo scary.”
As angry as they would get, they couldn’t touch me. Why? Because I was owning the power of my light with absolute authority. The laughter, the light, was more powerful than any fear they were trying to provoke. They shrank back from it.
I bring this up because the misconception I’ve spoken of before is once again rearing its head for many, which is that if you're filled with light, the dark will be attracted to you.
That is an absolute lie designed to keep you small and fearful. Your light does not attract darkness. Your light is safe.
Being filled with your light is a deterrent and can hold anything at bay.
But you have to believe that. If you believe the opposite, you will attract the opposite.
When you're scared, it can feel like you want to shrink within yourself so that nobody notices you. Like an animal in the wild getting still and trying to hide when in danger. But think about how much more powerful it is to be a lion or a lioness who takes up space and doesn't shrink. Who commands the space so that nothing gets close.
I get it, even with my training, if something fearful catches me off guard, I sometimes freeze and shrink when I’m threatened. And yet, when I can remember, I've seen time and again that if I extend my light and my energy and claim more space, negative and dark people and situations back off.
Even if you’re not laughing, refusing to shrink while choosing to stay in the light is a power in and of itself.
If you keep filling yourself with light and claiming ownership of your space, nothing can get in. Simultaneously, you need strong boundaries; you need to be aware of your body and your energy field. And clear any faulty subconscious beliefs that the darkness is more powerful than the light.
If you're always taking on other people’s emotions and issues, fill your second chakra with your energy and your light. If you're always giving your power away and you feel a lot of anxiety, fill your third chakra with your power and your light. If you feel so empathetic that you're giving away your heart energy, call it back to you and fill your fourth chakra with your energy and your light.
The more you are filled with your energy and your light, the more powerful you become.
Then when fears arise, you’ll be more able to laugh at them to dissolve them. Be that lioness, be that lion. Own your space from the power of your light and watch the darkness disappear.
Side Note: When you fill with your light, while white light can be very protective, it’s too high of a frequency and will shoot you out of your body and that's the opposite of what I'm speaking of above. I want you in your body where your power is, not out. Which means see and use gold light instead. Or whatever color feels representative of your light.
Oracle Cards for The New Year
Happy New Year!!
It's Oracle Card time!
Before pulling for each color, I asked:
-What does the person need to know or heal as we enter the new year?
-What information will be helpful to them?
I called in the Higher Selves of everyone who will pick a specific color and pulled the cards based on their direction. It's what I always do, but I don't know that I've mentioned my method before. Your Higher Self is leading you to the card(s) they chose for you.
Your color doesn't necessarily correspond to the chakras, but use your intuition because maybe for you it does. Regardless, it does hold the highest healing frequency for you at this moment.
Before choosing: breathe, center yourself, get out of your head, open to your gut intuition, then ask yourself which color has your message.
Have fun and happy picking!!
Red Oracle Card
Pink Oracle Card
Orange Oracle Card
Yellow Oracle Card
Green Oracle Card
Blue Oracle Card
Purple Oracle Card
P.S.- I'll be continuing with blogs every other week versus every week for a bit.
See you in 2 weeks!
Me, Tina Germain, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!