Sometimes Love Says No

Sometimes love says, “no.” 
 
What this means, is that sometimes the most loving act is to say “no” to a person or situation; walking away from a situation that is exhausting you, or saying “no” to a request that you cannot fulfill. It can be as simple and gentle as, “No, I’m sorry I can’t.” No explanation necessary, nor no guilt. 

It's not mean or bad to say no, it's having boundaries. It's owning that you matter: your time matters, your energy matters, your space matters. Over-giving doesn't help the other person; it only depletes you and prevents you from taking care of your needs.

Stop doing things out of duty and obligation. Do it because you want to. Otherwise the crabbiness with which you do it negatively impacts your energy, and goes out into the world.

You can't control anyone else or what they say about you, so if you're not saying “no” because they need you or to show what a good person you are, stop. You can't make people see you the way you want to be seen. The only thing you can control is your response. If they decide you're mean for saying no, that's their problem, not yours. You aren't responsible to fix their upset. This can be hard for some people who think, “but what if I look mean?” What if you do? Would you rather be perceived as being mean, which you're not by the way, or be depleted and lacking in self-worth? 

There are times that people want you to do it all for them, but it’s not your job to fix/rescue anyone. You can be compassionate while maintaining firm boundaries. Again, a simple, “no” is all that is required. In your head you can add the, “No, I won’t let you talk to me like that. No, I can’t fix that for you. No, I won’t rescue you again.” Come from the idea that, “I love you and, I have faith that you can figure this out.”

You are valuable, your time and energy matters. You can't serve the greater good, or even achieve your own dreams and goals, if you are constantly giving to others and draining yourself. Own your value. Release the outcome. Remember, you could be absolutely perfect and some people would still critique you. They will see you how they want to because it's their perception, not the ultimate truth. Recognize this. You have to take care of you. Stop sacrificing yourself and own your time and energy. 
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Have the courage to say “no” to what is hindering you, and yes to yourself. You matter!

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