The Most Powerful Words of Support

Well over a decade ago after I had gone through a very painful miscarriage, my girlfriend Heather asked me a question that was so beautiful in its compassion, it left me speechless.

She said to me, “How can I best support you right now?”
 
At the time, even though I thought I didn’t know what I needed, after a moment my answer was, “space and quiet.” 
 
The profound power of that question has stuck with me. 
 
We don’t need to fix it or make it better for others. We need to meet them where they’re at, not where we want them to be. Sitting in compassionate understanding is the best gift we can give to someone we love who is in emotional pain and going through a rough time. By allowing another the space to process their emotions in their timing, we’re honoring them.
 
So ask, “How can I best support you right now?” And depending on the circumstances, you can add, “Do you need me to just listen as you vent? Or do you need a cheerleader, a hug, or something else?” 

Then be willing to act on what they ask, and only what they ask, regardless of whether you think they need more.
 
That is highest expression of holding space for others. Be that love for another.