I walked away from my commercial agent 2 weeks ago after 22 years together. I had been doing commercials for six years prior to that with an agent in a different city. Basically, this was definitely closing a big door and letting go of a previously big dream. And one I was very ready for.
This plan of action had been in my mind for well over three years now, but sometimes things take time. I move slowly; I usually don’t make big decisions quickly, although there have always been exceptions. But walking away from things- that takes me time.
I write this today to not only share that perspective, but to help those of you who beat yourself up, feeling that you’re not doing something quickly enough. Recognize that everything has its right timing, everything moves in its proper cadence. I was really ready to walk away earlier this year, or so I thought, but clearly I wasn’t because I didn’t. I don’t beat myself up, and neither should you when you seem to be stalling; maybe there’s more for you to learn. You’ll know when it’s time; you’ll fell it in your gut.
I had to ask myself: who’s dream was I trying to fulfill?
In the last 8+ years, I’ve been annoyed when I’ve gotten an audition versus being excited. I realized the dream of acting was from all inner parts of me: my inner child, inner adolescent, and inner young adult, but it wasn’t my adult dream. As my adult self, it was no longer fun for me.
Even though it was no longer my dream, I still had to do a ritual in meditation around letting it go. And I needed to speak to the parts of me invested in the old dream and let them vent their upset. They’re not in charge of my reality; adult me is.
For those of you familiar with the various aspects of self, go in as I’ve taught you and have conversations with the parts of self you’ve worked with. For those of you who haven't done inner child etc. work, it’s a lot to teach in blog form so if it’s of interest, reach out and we’ll work it together.
Regardless, here’s a ritual to help you release a dream you’re ready to let go of…
Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a beautiful place in nature that feels incredibly safe. Notice your surroundings and take in how peaceful it feels. As you look around, out in front of you you see an open door; the door might be ornate, or simple. On the other side of the door, you may see a void, or you may see pure energy as swirls of light. Stand in front of that door and release everything tied to the dream you’re ready to let go of; all the old expectations, feelings, hopes, and imaginings around that dream. Flow them out of you as colors, feelings, sounds, shapes, symbols, or simply energy. Release everything until you feel complete.
Then speak your releasing in the form of, “I release this dream, and everything connected to it. I am now free to move forward.”
Thank that dream for serving its purpose, because it was important at one point, and then close (or slam) the door. Imagine a magic eraser by your feet and erase the door so it no longer exists. This is a firm message to your subconscious that you are fully done.
Now imagine a waterfall of pure 24 Carat gold above your head and fill yourself to overflowing with golden sparkles of new dreams, hopes, and wishes; with what you know, and with the unlimited possibilities of what you don’t.
When you’re filled up, open your eyes and move forward with enthusiasm for all that’s coming.
Remember, as I kept hearing, "when one door closes, another opens." Trust that a new door will open in its perfect timing.
May this bring you beautiful release and closure, and open a phenomenal new door for you!
Me, Tina Germain, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!