The Love I Never Expected

I was never a dog person. That’s actually putting it mildly, lol!

We had cats growing up and I loved them, but there was always a wall between me and animals, especially dogs.

When I was super little, I had a wonderful relationship with my grandma's dog, but soon after, I had multiple traumatic experiences with dogs that really shaped my view. Especially male dogs.

When I moved in with my husband, he had a three-year-old dog named Rocket, and while I learned to accept him, I just could not let that love in. It wasn't about him; it was a reflection on me.

Flash forward to the year after Rocket passed, all of those early childhood dog traumas were demanding to be healed, so I started working on them in early 2025. Which I also did because I knew how much my husband wanted another dog and I didn’t want to deny that to him.

In November of last year, I started expanding my capacity for love in all areas of my life, without even thinking about animals specifically. It was having a profoundly positive impact in many ways (more on how to do this in a future blog).

Around Christmas, a female dog started coming into my meditations and talking to me and getting me used to the idea of having a dog again. She showed herself so similarly to the dog that I loved as a child, that it was easy to accept and open to her presence.

After she stopped appearing around the New Year, I figured she wasn’t entering our lives.

However, two weeks to the day that Rocket passed, February 2nd, a neighbor sent a video of some puppies she was fostering. As soon as I saw the video, I had a feeling we would be taking one of them.

My husband went over and played with them, and I was really expecting him to come back with one!

When it was my turn to go play with them, I said no. There was a part of me that knew that once I opened that door, everything would change and it felt just too scary.

But then I remembered something that Cathy Heller had said, which is to do one courageous act a day. So, summoning my courage, I went over.

And I fell in love.

Now, for me to say that, coming from where I did being so closed down and so not a dog person, was a bit of a shocking realization for both me and my husband!

A week later, we went over to my neighbor’s, together this time, and it was so fascinating because the girl puppy we originally loved, couldn’t have cared less if we were there. But the little boy, oh he was all over us.

We hadn’t thought about him, besides saying how adorable he was, because my neighbor wanted him. Plus, he was the only boy dog over there and I'd been so adamant that if we were going to get a dog, it would be a girl this time (cue the Universe saying, “we’ll see about that”).

I will add, this whole time while I was processing through the insanity of me opening my heart the way I did, all I could hear was laughter from my unseen team. I felt like the decision had already been made on other levels, and now they were just waiting for me to catch up to it.

Even with that, there never was a sense of, "this is fated and you have no choice."

Although, let's be real – I think it absolutely was fated, but I always had a choice.

I did everything I teach everyone during that week – lots of grounding, lots of nervous system techniques, lots of being in present time, surrendering, and trusting. Being with myself when my heart capacity was being pushed to its max and honoring that. Slowing down the urgency and instead, allowing aligned and wise choice.

I truly was living everything I teach.

That Sunday, because we knew my neighbor wanted the brindle colored boy, we made the decision to let it go and walk away. We both felt fully at peace about that.

Tuesday evening, it was evident that we both couldn't stop thinking about him. I had felt him in the room with me when I was meditating that morning. We knew we needed to revisit our choice should he become available.

Exactly as we were talking about it, my neighbor called and said the puppies were going back to the shelter Wednesday morning and did we want to see them one more time. She also said that she wasn’t taking the boy puppy after all and he was ours if we wanted him.

We laughed at the timing of that call and while it would be easy to say it was a sign, we again, wanted to make an empowered choice.

So, we chose to go over Wednesday morning to see him one more time and to see if we truly had a connection with him. It was so evident and a no-brainer. We immediately put in adoption papers.

Again, I did everything I teach you because that was a huge expansion and while half of me was excited, half of me, especially my negative ego and my nervous system, was freaking out in fear.

It takes time to calibrate to big changes; there’s always chaos before and after. But the chaos can be filled with light, which is why I kept giving myself grace and the full range of emotions- especially thinking I must be crazy!

Once we got the acceptance that he was ours, we were again supported by the Universe by him needing to stay where he was for 3 weeks, giving us time to prep the house and ourselves!

At that point, I started asking my unseen team what his name was. We didn’t like the name they gave him; it wasn’t him at all.

I wasn’t getting an answer during the day, so I asked again one night before bed (the dream state is a great way to receive answers!) and I had a dream in which I was holding him, and an angelic being was in front of me and she said, “his name is Oliver, Ollie as a nickname.”

I woke up immediately because I knew I had my answer. When I googled it, his name means “peace” which suits his personality so much! When I told my husband, he agreed; it was the perfect name for him.

Thus, Ollie came about. My little Sagittarius (like me!) boy who is the sweetest little soul.

To say I don’t recognize myself is an understatement. If you had told me in January how much I would change, I would’ve scoffed and told you you were insane. I truly did a full 180.

I look at him and feel such love that it blows my mind. Never would I have imagined that was possible!

So, never underestimate what a willingness to open your heart can do. Sometimes the response is beyond your wildest dreams. Love arrives in ways you never could’ve planned for, when you become available for more.