One of the most powerful things I’ve ever trained myself to do in any given situation, is to respond, rather than react.
Reacting is a knee-jerk emotional response, whereas responding can be a grounded, present time choice. When we react, we allow our emotions to dictate our communications. These emotions may have stemmed from past traumas or wounds. Reactivity lacks clarity because again, it’s based on a strong emotion. The thing or person “upsetting” us holds the cards. When another can influence our moods and behavior that greatly, we’ve given away our power to it/them. Plus, we leave present time, because we may be reacting from child or adolescent pain, or the way we saw the adults around us speaking when we were young. To be empowered, one cannot react from their wounds. Whereas when we respond, we can have a much more non-emotional, thoughtful thing to say. We can choose our words. We can choose to respond or not. We aren’t beholden to the person or thing in front of us; we retain our present time power. Most importantly, responding is taking responsibility for our communications and impact. Feel it in your body right now. If someone says something triggering and every part of you wants to lash out back at them, can you feel how that takes you out of yourself and engages you in a battle? Whereas if they say something upsetting and you take a moment to center back into yourself and breathe, to either respond or choose to walk away and respond later, how much more empowering that is? You own your power in that situation rather than giving it up to another by your emotional reaction. Is this easy? Not necessarily! But it is doable. And it’s something that we need to train ourselves in. Meaning, we train ourselves to stop and breathe before sending that email, shooting off that text, lashing out at something someone said to us. When we are calm, we train ourselves to breathe first before any and all communications- good or bad. The more we train ourselves to breathe and ground before responding, the more likely we will be to respond from an empowered place, rather than react from any emotional one. This is also how we keep your inner child and adolescent from interfering in our present time reality. I’m not saying you ignore your emotions. You vent them in a responsible way- meaning you write out what you really want to say on paper, in a blank email, or a blank note on your phone, to release all the emotions being stirred up. You say everything mean thing you’re thinking. And then you delete that email or note, or you shred that piece of paper. But you do NOT send it. You get up and walk away. The longer you can sit with it, the better. Breathe. Go for a walk or at least step outside for a moment. Clear your head. Ground. Feel your feet on the floor. Center your awareness into yourself in present time. You take as much time as you need to respond, and only do so when you can write from a grounded, adult perspective. If you’re in front of someone and you’re triggered, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. I totally do this. I silent scream or throw a silent temper tantrum to release the energy out of my body. Then I ground, center, and come out of the bathroom, able to respond as an adult, in present time. Again, this is the most empowered form of communication because it’s based on us being accountable for our response and our emotions, and creating calm, rather than amplifying any anger or hurt. Try it, and notice how by your shift, all communications around you are elevated and become more respectful. It starts with you. Link to the YouTube I created for you on this subject.
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People always ask me what they can do in their life to have the most impact. But what if your greatest impact is in the way you live your daily life?
I know, that seems so simple and even potentially boring, but when you think about it, is it? You actually impact the world every day. Every day you choose whether to treat people with kindness and courtesy, or with dismissive anger and righteousness. Every day you choose whether to take the highroad, or to sink into the lowest version of yourself. By each choice that you make on a daily basis, you’re impacting the world. And the examples above are regarding the people you actually talk to and are in the vicinity of. What if you will also have profound impact on people you’ve never met, nor ever will meet? The premise that someone who will never know your name yet can be impacted by you; that’s a big responsibility. It shows you that what you put out in your personal world shifts the overall vibration of the world at large for good, or for bad, and has repercussions. Of course many of you want to make significant positive impact where people know you and learn from you; that’s a beautiful goal and never underestimate the little things. If you’re always waiting to do something “big,” you’re negating the impact you have every single day. Plus, how you operate on a daily basis is indicative of how you would operate on a larger scale. Be responsible for your thoughts, words, emotions, and actions in your own reality and live by example. When you can be responsible for that impact and show up as the highest version of you, you change and the world changes. Simply by your presence you have phenomenal impact. This is how you “be the change.” Start today. |
AuthorMe, Tina Germain, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be! Archives
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