While you cannot control the timing of certain events in your life, you absolutely can control your preparation and the work you do on yourself, in order to augment and be ready for those events.
Meaning, let’s say you really want a relationship. Are you sitting around pining for one and lamenting what’s going wrong, or are you working on your self-worth, your self-esteem, and your value? Are you clearing old stories from childhood? Who shows up when meeting a new potential partner- is it your inner child just wanting to be loved? Is it your adolescent thriving on drama? Or are you in your inner adult, ready and able to communicate, even when it gets scary? The more you can become conscious of which part of you is creating the type of person you’re attracted to and attracting, as well as bringing yourself into a place of owning your value and worth, the more you’ll actively make the situation ripe for a healthy relationship.
Another example: say you’ve really been wanting more money, it’s all you think about. Are you doing the work to clear the money story you grew up with, or do you still believe creating money is a struggle and/or judge those who have money? Are you actively seeking out financial experts and coaches who can help you to grow and expand your ideas about money? Or are you just complaining that it’s not there?
Here’s why it’s also important to do your work: because let’s say tomorrow a financial windfall comes to you – if you haven’t done the inner work necessary, the old stories may come in around, i.e. lack of worth and guilt in regard to money, thus creating situations where you make unwise choices, having your windfall disappear quickly. However, when you work your money mentality and clear out faulty beliefs, feelings, and old stories, then you can be responsible for larger and larger amounts of money and know how to handle it wisely. The difference in those two scenarios is you having done the inner work necessary to hold that reality of being wealthy, while participating in the co-creation of money, versus just expecting it to come and miraculously solve everything, while not truly being ready to receive it.
That holds true for relationships as well. I did the work for years on myself to really own my value and worth in regard to love and the kind of relationship I was choosing to create when I met my husband. I did a lot of work healing my inner child and adolescent to clear old issues/beliefs. I don’t think I could’ve received this level of love had I not done that work.
If you wanted to be an Olympic athlete, you would train. If you wanted to be a piano virtuoso, you would train. It’s no different in your reality creation. Except the training is working internally on yourself to clear old beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, stories, and feelings, to be the most receptive and best you can be, to attract the best there is for you.
As we begin this new year, I want to explain to you a visual and process that came to me when talking to a client about dreams, using my personal garden as a reference.
Imagine that all the dreams you’ve had for your life are part of your personal garden. Just like in a real garden, some of your plants/dreams die and if you don’t pull them out and weed them, they overcrowd the space and prevent the new seedlings/dreams from getting the sunlight that they need.
Every time we begin a new relationship or a job or a project, we imagine and put forth all these visions of how it’s going to be and how it’s going to turn out, and we send those dreams into the future. Sometimes though those relationships, jobs, and projects don’t come to fruition or turn out the way we wanted. We’ve invested so much energy dreaming them, that when they die, if the energy isn’t released, it takes up space in our precious plot of land.
Now sometimes you’ve excavated the pain and the emotions associated with the loss of those dreams, and sometimes, you haven’t. Today we’re going to weed what hasn’t been fully released, what still may trigger you, or what you’ve completely forgotten about.
So, here’s a visual you can take yourself through. Read it once fully to get an idea of the steps, and then imagine and see yourself doing what I’m describing:
Take a moment to center yourself and quiet your thoughts. You can even count from five to one if it helps. When you’re ready, close your eyes and imagine that you can go within yourself to find your garden.
See yourself in a beautiful place in nature, walking to a plot of land: it could be a raised garden bed or a plot, but either way, it’s got a boundary to it. That’s the garden of your dreams.
There may be beautiful flowering plants or trellises filled with flowers or fruit, which is fabulous, but today we’re concerning ourselves with what’s between the flowers: dead plants.
Walk over to your garden and if you like, put your gardening gloves on; you’re going to start weeding. Imagine yourself right now pulling all those weeds out, all those old dried up and dead dreams. Some of the dreams you may be aware of, and some you may have no idea what you’re pulling out. There may be dreams from childhood with the fantasies you had, or from when you were a teenager and you thought you would be a famous, fill in the blank. Those need to be weeded.
As you pull the weeds, you may feel emotions welling up. If so, honor those and allow yourself to feel the feelings, be it sadness, rage, resentment- whatever arises. Feel the feelings as you hold that particular dead dream so the energy can be released. Then take your power back from that dream.
Be aware that while some of the dreams have shallow roots, some have very deep roots. At the end of the season, I’ll find my tomato plants have rooted below all the other plants, taking up space and invading my garden. It’s the same with certain dreams. Some dreams you've been so heavily invested in them manifesting, that even as they died, that root system is still there, affecting everything else. You need to dig deep down to excavate all the roots.
When you’ve got a dead plant in hand, imagine either a contained bonfire next to the garden or a big trash can. You need somewhere to toss those weeds. If you throw the weeds into the fire, imagine the fire is burning away the energy of the old, transforming and releasing it. If you put them in a big garbage can, at the end when it’s full, hand the garbage can to your Higher Self to be taken out of your space and again, the energy within, transformed. Either the fire or the trash can is a symbolic way to show your subconscious that you are letting them go.
When all the weeds are gone, see bags of soil enhancer next to the garden. The soil enhancer is love, light, joy, and happiness. Open those bags and dump the contents into the garden and mix them into the soil. See the soil becoming a deep dark brown, rich and full of nutrients.
Now think about what you want to create, and plant the new seeds that you have, the new dreams. If you need time to ponder this, that’s okay, you can come back at any time. In the meantime, feed the plants that are thriving in the garden already, by putting the soil enhancer around them. They’ll now have more space to expand and grow without the dead plants taking up precious minerals.
Feed the garden your love. Imagine it raining love into the soil.
As an add-on if it appeals to you, when you’re done with your garden, see yourself dropping the clothes you’re wearing that have been symbolic of the old you and the places you still were tied to the weeds. Throw those into the fire or hand them over to your Higher Self.
Then off to the side, notice a box with a big bow in your favorite color. Open the box to find it filled with brand new beautiful, sparkling clothes that when you put them on, they feel so good and soft and cozy. They feel light and expansive. They feel energized and vibrant. Wear those as you exit the garden, filled with joy and happiness.
When you're ready, open your eyes and move about your day.
The subconscious speaks in images so this is a powerful way to give it the message of what you no longer want, and what you desire more of.
Get into it, the more emotion you bring the better.
And when you’re done, celebrate your success.
Happy weeding and may your garden sprout phenomenal new dreams!!
Let’s talk about the power of belief for a moment. Some of you tell me it’s so hard to change beliefs about yourself and what you can and cannot do in the absence of “facts,” and yet there are people who believed so much in something absolutely outside of their range of awareness, that they built a rocket ship and went into space. There are others who have believed so fervently in an idea, that they created new devices to aid people/the world: washing machines, computers, recycling plants, etc.
So when you say that you just can’t get past the idea that somehow you’re not worthy of creating this or that, how about if you decide to be like those inventors and explorers and put all of your energy and attention into the possibility that maybe your dreams can come true. That maybe you are smart enough and talented enough.
A belief is nothing but a statement said over and over until it becomes your truth. So who’s truth are you living right now? Are you listening to the flawed adults from when you were little, or maybe even your own wounded inner child and misguided presumptions, or are you choosing instead to listen to the empowered adult in you?
Let’s go under the assumption that you’ve been lied to by your negative ego and by those flawed authority figures from when you were a child/adolescent. Today, could you decide to start shining the light into a new truth? The truth of your worth and your value and that you actually are enough?
Can you believe in yourself as much as those early explorers believed they’d find land? As much as Edison believed he’d be able to create a lightbulb? As much as the NASA scientists figured out how to put a man on the moon?
If they could do it, surely you can take your power back from the past and focus your energy and attention into what you do want to create for yourself.
And if your mind argues that nothing has been effective yet, you remind yourself that today is a brand new day and you have the power of choice. Forgive yourself for the past and choose to believe in yourself and your dreams. You’re worth it.
Today I’m sharing a story to illustrate why I’m always telling you that you are responsible for your reality and your personal power:
This past week I was having a lovely Wednesday, everything was falling into place effortlessly and every errand was easy. Then I got to a grocery store that I hadn’t been to since the start of the pandemic. I was in a line for a bit, didn’t see any door monitor, and watched as a person would enter the store when someone else would come out. When it was my turn, as I was about to enter the store, the person who was supposed to be monitoring the door came running over and screamed at me because unbeknownst to me, the person who walked out was an employee dressed in regular street clothes. She did not say this nicely, she laid into me. It was shocking, and I calmly explained that how could I know the situation? She stormed off. Then I went into the store and asked an employee a question and the employee was phenomenally rude. At that point, I lost all neutrality; I was furious and just wanted out of there. I grabbed the few items I needed and left.
I knew I had to clear my space, as I remind all of you, as I could still feel the attack energy from the first person. I said the Archangel Michael prayer and separated out energy, but I still felt awful. I was grumbling and bitching to myself and to my husband via text, that they just ruined my day. And then it occurred to me, why was I giving them the power to ruin my day? It was MY day and it had been going wonderfully. I needed to take responsibility.
Now, am I saying I was responsible for her flying off the handle at me? No! Clearly, she and the other girl were going through something and taking it out on me. I could have continued to take it personally and let it ruin more of my day, but then I would be giving them the keys to my sanity. Uh, no thanks! Neither of them were worth it.
1: Started smacking them all out of my space- literally smacking their energy out, while saying authoritatively to, "Get out of my space!" Remember- own your crown chakra, own your authority. No one else can be in your space unless you let them.
I lobbed both their energies out of my space and back to them (I first cleared it nicely, sent it to the Universe, but that didn’t do it. Sometimes a person leaves their imprint on you and you need to send it back, like you’re playing tennis/baseball/golf).
I then imagined cutting all cords of energy between us- all communications, all energy exchange.
I started sucking my power back in, repeatedly, until I felt lighter.
(I wrote extensively about taking your power back in my previous blog. Read here to learn the technique.)
I started proclaiming that it was my day and therefore I was choosing that the rest of it would be easy and elegant.
After doing these, I completely shifted the remainder of my day; it was back to being wonderful. I owned/created my reality by my response. That’s what I mean by taking responsibility and taking your power back (which is being empowered).
I think this is important to remember because it’s not only in big ways that you give your power away, it’s the daily little things.
You choose how you react in circumstances and who you give the keys to your peace of mind. Choose wisely! If someone awful comes in and tries to take your peace, don’t let them! You are responsible for your reaction and your energy.
Same with the past: are you still letting someone/something in the past determine your reality now? Do the techniques listed; stop dragging the past forward.
And if the four steps above aren’t enough, go into a rage bubble, journal it, scream it in a safe way or beat your bed with a pillow. Get it out of you.
Remind yourself – “I create my reality."
Own your personal power now.
This blog was intended to go out around the 4th of July, but the Dark and Light Shadows took precedence. So even though it’s belated, let’s talk about freedom.
You are only as free as you allow yourself to be. And you can always be freer.
What I mean is that when you look at the stories you tell about your life and the people in it, do they expand your freedom or contract it?
I recently looked at a story I had been telling about myself for years. Through a series of insights, I really began to acknowledge that my words were allowing the story to continue. To have the new reality I so desperately longed for, I needed to write a new story. So I did- literally. I wrote it out.
Then I began visualizing it and making it real in the now. I see the outcome, feel the feelings of success, and focus on that daily. I also verbally only speak what I expect and want to see; as if it’s a done deal. And I feel happy when I think about it.
It’s mine. I’m actively creating/allowing/receiving it now.
I know these tools; they’ve helped me create brilliant miracles before, but I had forgotten. I forgot that I don’t have to put up with a hindrance to my freedom. That I can take my power back by seeing it differently, by telling a different story about it, by speaking new words. I have the creative power. After all, since I create my reality, why create more pain from an old wound?
Yes, I did need to do another round of forgiveness work to release it; towards myself, the other, and the situation. I had done a ton so it was easy to forgive the hurtle that was blocking me. If you haven’t done previous forgiveness work, then I remind you that forgiveness is key!
To change anything, you need to forgive yourself and everything/everyone involved. Look- it’s not always easy and sometimes you need to process through a myriad of emotions first, but ultimately, forgiveness is the gift you give yourself. They’re not suffering, you are. They’re not in jail, you are. Give yourself that freedom.
As I was writing this, I looked up to see a red dragonfly perched near my garden. I have never seen one before. I looked up the symbolism: courage, strength, and happiness.
There’s that word again from a few weeks ago: courage. Can you be courageous enough to forgive and allow yourself greater freedom? Can you be courageous enough to imagine something better for yourself and then take action by actively putting the pieces into motion?
This week, focus on the freedom to. You know what you want to be free from, but what do you want to create? What would bring expanse and joy into your reality? Take the time to imagine it and then do something concrete to bring it into being. A new world is being birthed, don’t forget to birth yourself new as well.
Last night there was a moth in our bedroom. I’m not talking about an ordinary moth, I’m talking the size of a butterfly, and I am not exaggerating in the slightest. This moth was desperate to get out, but while I had opened the door to the light outside, it just kept bashing around the ceiling over and over. It seemed to refuse the very thing it wanted most, it’s freedom. It preferred to smack against the ceiling, even though the door was open, and the light was right there.
How often do we do that in our own lives? The answer is there, the doorway is open to change, but we prefer to smack our heads up against the ceiling of our own limiting and stuck beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, and habits. It’s safer to keep beating up against what we know, than simply walking through that open doorway into our light.
The light can be scary, even though rationally we say we want the light, because the light is filled with our beauty, our gifts, and our radiance. We’ve been so trained to believe that we are our struggles, our lack, and our limits. What would happen if we dared to walk through that open door? It’s right there, just shift where you’ve been focusing and change your perspective.
Maybe “up until now,” brilliant phrasing by the way, it’s always been ..., but what if today, you approach it differently? You own your light, your radiance, your expansiveness, and then you decide how it’s going to turn out. You make a new choice and move forward with faith.
Now, sometimes when you do that, that negative ego voice is silently stalking in the background, just waiting to say- “see, I knew it wouldn’t work!” So don’t give it the opportunity. Before you start, own that this time will be different and consciously release any part of you waiting to prove yourself wrong for wanting to expand. Wanting to prove that you were right all these years for holding onto that belief etc. Gather your courage, tell all parts of you that you are stepping through that doorway, forgive any part of you in resistance, and take a step. Imagine all the wondrous things you can discover in the light. Let that motivate, versus scare you.
You deserve a life of your dreams. You deserve complete happiness. Make a new choice today. Shift your perspective. Stop beating your head against the old ceiling, it’s time to turn and walk out into your new life. As for that moth, he finally made it into the light, and so can you. Freedom awaits.
Some of you know that I adore my husband; I’m not shy in owning that. It took me 40 years to meet him and wow did I create a perfect man, but that’s another story! So earlier last year, we found out my husband’s name was being submitted for an Emmy for Score Mixing for Season 3 of “Mozart in the Jungle.” We were ecstatic. I immediately began visualizing texting everyone saying, “He won!!!”
Well the day of the Emmy nominations, his show was announced but they omitted his name. Now, I’m pretty fiery as you know, and I immediately went to anger- “this is an injustice! WTF!” etc., etc. I vented, I railed, I worked that anger until it was spent. I did all of the techniques that I teach you all. Once I worked through that, I calmed myself down and started focusing on the oversight being corrected. I put all of my attention into visualizing that correction, with absolute conviction that it would happen.
Sure enough, the next day, he got word from his co-nominee that it was being reviewed by the Academy. During that time of review, I held fast to my faith in my husband and his deserving of the award. And I forgave everything I could think of; why I allowed a reality of injustice, what in me had issues with visibility, etc. A few days later, we got the word that yes indeed, he was officially nominated.
Now it was time for the big work. Everyday for months I visualized sending those texts, while seeing him onstage. It was a super powerful image for me and I put all of my energy into that. I knew exactly who would receive those texts and I refused to allow any reality except that one.
Neither fear, nor negative ego, were allowed a voice, ever. I would not give them space in my creation. I owned my power and the truth that I create my reality and I would only allow positive support. I wouldn’t give my power away to anyone who was jealous or who was unsupportive, nor would I entertain fears of them. I visualized moving anyone like that out of the way and focused on my end goal. Only supportive people, and unseen helpers allowed.
Most importantly, I focused on my love for my husband everyday before visualizing. Love can move mountains and I wanted to put my love into action. So while visualizing those texts, I felt the love, I felt the joy, I felt the bliss. I owned out loud what I wanted and I refused any contradictory thoughts.
Right before Labor Day, we got word that the Emmys would be Sept 10th, our Anniversary. That to me was confirmation of the love I’d been putting out there around this event.
The night of the Creative Arts Emmys, I’ve got to own that I was nervous. Sitting in that auditorium, for the first time, I had doubts. I didn’t judge them though, I let them speak for a few minutes and then a small voice said, “trust,” and I let go and trusted. I went right back to what I did want and felt that joy. About 15 min later, he won an Emmy, and I got to send those texts and scream for joy.
The key components illustrated by this story and how to really empower your manifestations are:
As a P.S.: I do need to specify that my husband was in complete agreement to co-creating this success with me and was doing his own work simultaneously. I was coming at it from what I wanted in my reality, not forcing a reality on him. I wanted that experience, as did he, which made it more powerful because we were aligned. You cannot force your vision on anyone else, nor can you do the work for them. Use these tools for yourself first and foremost.
Me, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!