Right now, with many losing their minds, it’s important to remember to not engage crazy. There are those who thrive on drama, who want to sweep you into their mess, who want to amp up discord. However, as I’ve reminded you often lately, you don’t need to participate.
One of my favorite metaphors comes from my friend Linda Foley. She always told me to stay off the crazy playground. What is the crazy playground you ask?
The way I think of the crazy playground is as if imagining yourself stuck on a carousel, and you just keep circling around and around with either a person or an issue. It doesn’t stop moving, it’s up to you to step off.
How do you know you’re on the crazy playground? When you’re engaging in a battle. When a fight has escalated beyond what it’s even really about. When someone has no interest in looking at their part of their mess and simply wants to blame. When someone is sinking into their own story and refuses any bit of sane advice. When you’re arguing over and over and over and getting nowhere.
It’s anytime you can tell the other person doesn’t hear you, or you’re mired in an old pattern, or with somebody who’s stuck in their negative ego- and you just keep circling around and around and around, and refuse to take the highroad and walk away.
Here’s an example: a client of mine has a mother that always has a crisis going on, always needing something. The mother thrives on drama. She dumps it on my client and expects my client to fix it all. Eventually, through talking about this metaphor, my client realized that she’s constantly on the crazy playground with her mother. Always engaging the crazy by responding to it, and/or resisting it. Resistance still keeps you on the playground. It wasn’t until she took her power back one day and realized that:
A: she was not at her mother’s beck and call and could simply not answer the phone – to which to some of you might say, “well duh,” but to others who know what it’s like when somebody needs you and is continually looking to you for something, that’s not always easy.
And B: when her mom started dumping all of the issues on her, she simply said, “I cannot help you today. I hope you’re able to fix that problem. I have to go now, we’ll talk soon.”
She let her mom know that she would not be there to solve that particular problem, nor any other problems coming up. She held the boundary of her sanity being more important than being on that merry go round of crazy.
There’s not just a merry go round on the crazy playground, there’s also a teeter totter- where someone is always up and the other is always down- a swing set, the monkey bars – they can all be metaphors for however the crazy is playing out.
You won’t always recognize that you’re stuck there. Sometimes you simply think you’re engaging in dialogue or discussion. But notice if it keeps going in circles. Notice if there always has to be a winner and a loser. Notice if you’re so used to it that you don’t realize that you are worthy and deserving of peace and serenity.
Regardless of which vehicle you’re on in the playground, ultimately, sanity comes from disengaging and walking away. Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? Do you want tranquility, or do you want conflict?
You take your power back by not only stepping off the merry-go-round, but actually walking to the edge of the playground, opening the gate, and closing it behind you to completely detach and liberate yourself.
In my imagination, the land outside the gate of the crazy playground is serene, peaceful, and beautiful.
You deserve to be there. When you find yourself in the crazy playground, use the imagery of walking out, closing the gate, and then set the boundaries needed, cut the cords, and choose peace instead of chaos. Focus on being the best you that you can be, and don’t give your power away to anything/anyone that disrupts your calm.
If it helps, in your head say, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
The more you disengage from crazy, the more you teach your subconscious that you won't allow it in your reality, thereby creating more harmonious people/circumstances in your life.
You are worthy of contentment and well-being.
May you find peace and sanity this week!
I’ve had to really take my power back lately: from externals- such as the global crisis and Covid restrictions, to internals- my inner child, adolescent, and negative ego. I've also had to pull my power and energy back from wanting to future trip and think about something farther off in my day/week, and worry about it. It’s been more obvious to me lately when I do this, and thus, when I do and take my power back, I am so much more present, centered, calm, and empowered.
Which leads me to today's topic: I want to address something that has been coming up a lot lately: the idea that an issue you have can’t be fixed or that nothing can help you.
These are beliefs. They are only as true as the energy that you give them. They do not need to be true. Repetitive thought makes them true. Then the universe shows you the very thing that you keep repeating to yourself.
You can argue with me that truly nothing you do seems to shift an issue. Let’s break that apart then:
First, you believe it. You believe it fully. The universe is complying with that belief and making sure that nothing you do works.
Let’s just play with the idea that that belief could be faulty. I get it, I really do. I hear the angst in your voice; I know the frustration. You’re at your wits end. Things don’t seem to shift. So humor me for a moment. Are you willing to own that your thought could be a lie? Just open to it.
Do you know for certain that the universe has not been trying to help you only to have it be rebounded back? You don’t, so let’s say that’s the case. You may not be receiving/allowing the help you need because of the paradigm in which you grew up where when you asked for help, either you didn’t receive what you wanted, bad things happened, or you were hurt etc. Have you personified the universe to be exactly like the authority figures when you were growing up? Is the universe benevolent and generous or withholding and limiting?
Next step: where have you given away your power to believe that your statement is true?
That is the core of it, that is the frustration of it: the idea that you keep doing everything and nothing is working. You are essentially powerless.
That my friends is an enormous lie. I think probably the biggest one out there. What better way to control somebody than to make them think they’re powerless?
Yes, you were powerless as a child. As an adolescent too. You had to follow the rules or the consequences could be severe. Especially as a little child.
However, those parts of you are no longer allowed to run the show. They may have colored your current worldview based on the past, and are still getting something by keeping the pattern going. You can talk to those aspects and let them know you’re creating a new reality. You may need to do deeper work with them, but ultimately you the adult makes the conscious present moment choice. You have the power in the now to choose differently.
You may also have given your power away to your negative ego. The negative ego seduces you with fear, worry, and anxiety. It wants you scared and afraid of everything. It will convince you that they’re doing it to you. Or even that there are dark forces looming over you, just waiting to attack. Both of these perpetuate the idea of powerlessness.
I get that when you feel so powerless it makes sense that it’s external. However, when you do a deep dive into your own negative ego and shadow, you uncover the truth; that the answer is within. That’s where the lie of powerlessness festers.
As you look to these areas, the more aware you become, the more you can take your power back.
And to deepen what I’m saying, as I said above, your power is in your choice. Even if you’re in an unpleasant situation and it seems that your options aren’t great, you still have the power to choose how to respond. You can respond from your child, negative ego or adolescent, or you the adult can choose a higher response. You have the power to change any situation by your thoughts and attitudes about it. That’s power. To not give anything external, or even the internal monkey mind, the ability to ruin your serenity. Personal power is taking the tools at your disposal and making the best of them.
The universe actually is on your side, so stop fighting for your limitations.
You have to be the light first and that entails owning your personal power so call it back. You’re not your mind, not your body, not your thoughts, not your ego. You are a powerful infinite being of light, never forget this.
(For further help in taking your power back, click here.)
“I choose peace instead of this.”
I try to cultivate a reality of harmony and calm, but every so often, life happens, and conflict arises. That very thing happened Friday and while I was not directly involved in the conflict, it impacted me greatly. I did what I remind all of you to do, processed through any of my own fears, upsets, and angers, forgave myself for anywhere that I was contributing to this conflict, took my power back from it, and most valuably, I remembered something from a book Gabby Bernstein had written, that was taken from one of the lessons in A Course in Miracles. But while I couldn’t remember the exact phrasing, I was consciously choosing a different reality so I started saying over and over, when thinking of the situation, “I choose peace instead of this.” Now the way it had originally been taught was, “I could see peace instead of this.” While I understand why it was phrased that way for the lesson, for my purposes, I was actively choosing to see a reality of peace. I affirmed it over and over, all weekend, while doing all the other things that I needed to do to help shift the energy.
Monday morning, I found out that the parties involved were able to hash out what happened and create understanding, thereby ending the conflict.
As I remind you all the time, nothing changes until you do, and since you create your reality, you can actively choose the outcome you want and put all of your attention there. I could have dive-bombed into righteousness and anger and all sorts of other emotions, but that would have exacerbated the issue vs. heal it. Make the choice to rise above whatever is in conflict in your life and choose a peaceful outcome. You cannot control what happens, but you can control what you bring to the situation. Choose peace.
Me, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!