There's a very simple mindset shift that I want you to consider this week: I have to, versus, I get to.
 
When you have to do something, there’s a feeling of being forced and resistance can arise. 
 
When you get to, you’re in charge. You have the power of choice.
 
I hear you- you may say, “but I have to work, I have to pay bills.” Well, you don’t really. It’s just that the alternative is not something you’d like to experience.
 
If you can’t get behind it yet with bills, go to something easier. For example, a client said she had to go to a music recital and wasn’t looking forward to it. The I get to became, “I get to support my child which will make them happy, and I can even use the time to experience being fully present and focusing on the positive.
 
That simple shift changed everything. My client was more present, more grounded, and even enjoyed herself. She found herself silently cheering on the kids who couldn’t play well, rather than judging them and wishing she was elsewhere.
 
For most people, the, I have to, started in childhood- having to go to school and having to conform to what the adults said. But you get to choose now. Talk to your inner child if you need and give them the freedom to simply play and have fun.
 
Then give yourself that gift as well. Reframe the have to when you can, as the get to allows for greater freedom and flow. 
 
What do you get to do today that could bring you more joy? Let that be your focus.

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I was thinking about more of what I wanted in this 2nd half of the year, when I thought to myself that I already knew my word for next year. And then I realized, "Why wait?! What a crazy thought! Why postpone what I want?"
 
Choosing a word for the year isn’t set in stone and my word was no longer inspiring me. So, I made a new choice. (For those new to this blog, click here to read an exercise I have everyone do each December)
 
We can always make new choices and goals! Especially when we’re no longer motivated or inspired by previous ones.
 
I heard something recently, which I hadn’t thought about before, that some people visualize goals with specifics. They see the concrete steps and accomplishments. For example, "I will do X, Y, & Z to create X amount of money in the next 3 months."
 
That specificity motivates and excites them. They need that for their creations. I have a client who has a weight loss goal, and she knows her steps and plan to achieve that, down to the details of daily exercise and foods.
 
Now, there’s another camp that I’m part of, where we have an idea of what we’d like to create, but it's the energies that we're desiring that are more of the pull. For example, "I’d like to ultimately see X in my reality, while in all areas, feel more freedom, more joy, more fulfillment and expansion."
 
The energies are the motivators with the goal being present, but the specifics open. For example, using my client above, personally, her specificity would cause me resistance. So for those like me, the phrasing could be, "I'd like to feel fantastic and healthy in my body. Every day I'm going to acknowledge something I love about myself and do some sort of movement that makes me feel joyful, even if it's just dancing around the house for 5 minutes."

Or for another example, if your word is self-love, you could ask, "what action or non-action would be most self-loving today?" There's more fluidity in both these examples, rather than specific action steps.

(See my blog titled “The List” for more ideas on creating a desired outcome using both energies and specifics)
 
Neither is better than the other, the question is, which style motivates you?
 
For those who created their word for the year, how are you doing with it, and does it still serve you? Is that the frequency you want for the rest of the year and if not, change it like I did!
 
And whether you did or did not come up with a word, think about how you'd like to feel in this next half of the year and imagine one goal that would make you feel accomplished. Something within your power to create. Then write it out and either with specifics, or feeling into the energy of it, look at it daily and allow it to inspire you. To help you reach for more.

Let's make the 2nd half of 2024 incredible!

We have a spiral staircase in our backyard and a few weeks ago, a little brown bird decided that that staircase was its mortal enemy. Throughout the day every day, it would loudly dive bomb the staircase and strike it. After over a week of this, I realized what a brilliant metaphor he was showing me by the fact that, in his perception, that staircase was bad, and he needed to attack it.

How many times do we see something as wrong or upsetting or bad and we focus all our attention and negative thoughts towards that thing. We attack it over and over. But those attack thoughts are the playground of the negative ego and only keep the thing that we think is the enemy in the forefront of our mind, so that we're not able to see anything else. It becomes an, “us versus them.” Which amplifies the lie of separation that the negative ego wants us to believe.
 
All it takes -and I completely get that sometimes the simplicity about what I'm about to say is not always easy- is a shift in perception. What if you could choose to release that which has become your enemy and see it as simply a neutral thing?
 
As this realization hit, A Course in Miracles called out from my bookshelf, and I found 2 lines that spoke to me that I started repeating: “I am determined to see things differently. I could see peace instead of this.”
 
Without a change in perception, our attack thoughts attack our own peace of mind, and ourselves. We become separate from our true beingness, who we really are outside of our body.
 
But we are more. Our truer self is infinite light.
 
Now, as we release our attack thoughts, we may also need to do an emotional release. Releasing the realness of the rage or grief or frustration that that thing or person is bringing up in us.
 
But ultimately, it’s not about the thing or person. It’s our continued negative focus on it that’s causing our distress.
 
Again, I get it, there are certain issues and people where this isn’t easy. I know that very well in my own reality. And simultaneously, I know that as I release my own feelings of attack and work through my emotions, attack energy can dissipate and ultimately disappear.
 
I began forgiving and releasing myself from the upsetting situation. I kept choosing peace instead.
 
After a couple days of this, the little bird disappeared and hasn’t come back. Giving myself freedom from my negative ego attack thoughts gave him the freedom he needed as well.
 
Choice is within your power. To set yourself free, release your attack thoughts and choose peace instead.

One of the most powerful things I’ve ever trained myself to do in any given situation, is to respond, rather than react.
 
Reacting is a knee-jerk emotional response, whereas responding can be a grounded, present time choice.
 
When we react, we allow our emotions to dictate our communications. These emotions may have stemmed from past traumas or wounds. Reactivity lacks clarity because again, it’s based on a strong emotion. The thing or person “upsetting” us holds the cards. When another can influence our moods and behavior that greatly, we’ve given away our power to it/them. Plus, we leave present time, because we may be reacting from child or adolescent pain, or the way we saw the adults around us speaking when we were young.
 
To be empowered, one cannot react from their wounds.
 
Whereas when we respond, we can have a much more non-emotional, thoughtful thing to say. We can choose our words. We can choose to respond or not. We aren’t beholden to the person or thing in front of us; we retain our present time power.
 
Most importantly, responding is taking responsibility for our communications and impact.
 
Feel it in your body right now. If someone says something triggering and every part of you wants to lash out back at them, can you feel how that takes you out of yourself and engages you in a battle? Whereas if they say something upsetting and you take a moment to center back into yourself and breathe, to either respond or choose to walk away and respond later, how much more empowering that is? You own your power in that situation rather than giving it up to another by your emotional reaction.
 
Is this easy? Not necessarily! But it is doable. And it’s something that we need to train ourselves in. Meaning, we train ourselves to stop and breathe before sending that email, shooting off that text, lashing out at something someone said to us. When we are calm, we train ourselves to breathe first before any and all communications- good or bad. The more we train ourselves to breathe and ground before responding, the more likely we will be to respond from an empowered place, rather than react from any emotional one. This is also how we keep your inner child and adolescent from interfering in our present time reality.
 
I’m not saying you ignore your emotions. You vent them in a responsible way- meaning you write out what you really want to say on paper, in a blank email, or a blank note on your phone, to release all the emotions being stirred up. You say everything mean thing you’re thinking. And then you delete that email or note, or you shred that piece of paper. But you do NOT send it.
 
You get up and walk away. The longer you can sit with it, the better. Breathe. Go for a walk or at least step outside for a moment. Clear your head. Ground. Feel your feet on the floor. Center your awareness into yourself in present time. You take as much time as you need to respond, and only do so when you can write from a grounded, adult perspective.
 
If you’re in front of someone and you’re triggered, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. I totally do this. I silent scream or throw a silent temper tantrum to release the energy out of my body. Then I ground, center, and come out of the bathroom, able to respond as an adult, in present time.
 
Again, this is the most empowered form of communication because it’s based on us being accountable for our response and our emotions, and creating calm, rather than amplifying any anger or hurt.
 
Try it, and notice how by your shift, all communications around you are elevated and become more respectful. It starts with you.
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Link to the YouTube I created for you on this subject.
 

With the increase of hate and vitriol in the world, as today is Summer Solstice, the longest day of light in the Northern Hemisphere, I want to remind you of a very simple fact: every day you have the ability to create your reality and the energies in the world by what you choose to focus on.
 
You can choose whether to click on an article that's filled with gossip or hate. You can choose to listen to the person spouting dark and fearful ideas. You can choose to root for the punishment of those who disagree with you.
 
But all of those things add more darkness to the world and to your personal world. They create more separation, more us versus them.
 
On the flipside, you can choose to give those things none of your attention or emotional energy. You can choose what you'd like to see instead and put all your focus on that. You can choose to be a light in the darkness. You can choose a higher outcome. You can even choose to send love to a negative situation or person.
 
As Martin Luther King Jr. said,
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.
​ Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” 
 
Choose to create your reality from a place of light and the highest potential. By doing so, you change the world for the better.
 

Freedom… it’s certainly been up for debate recently, hasn’t it?
 
And yet, in this country, we have the freedom to debate freedom. That’s a gift. Many in the world don’t have that luxury.
 
As I’ve reminded you before, you’re both only as free as you allow yourself to be, and as those around you are. 
 
What do I mean by that?
 
We each create our own individual reality, and simultaneously, we’re part of the whole. If you take away the freedom of some, it negatively impacts and diminishes the energy of freedom for the whole. 
 
When external freedom and choice is limited or taken away, internal freedom of choice becomes even more necessary and powerful.
 
If you want to see more freedom in the world for everyone, start with yourself. Release yourself from your limiting beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. Notice where you constrict yourself and choose greater freedom instead. Ask yourself, “Does this belief/thought serve my highest freedom or not?” If not, make a new choice.
 
You have the freedom in every minute as to how you respond, how you act, and what you focus on. You’re free to choose if you show up in love, or in hate. In compassion, or in judgment. In acceptance, or in rejection.
 
To be truly free, you need to free yourself from your internal prisons so that you can bring more of your light into the world.
 
The world needs the ever-lifting energy of freedom. Together, let’s imagine that expansive energy sweeping through our personal realities and the world as a whole, transforming darkness into light.


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I’ve told you this before, but it bears repeating, especially with the situation in the Ukraine:
 
You matter.
 
Your thoughts matter.
 
Your words matter.
 
The vision you have for the world matters.
 
When you’re stuck in blaming and complaining, you perpetuate a frequency of powerlessness. But you’re not powerless.

Yes, you can get angry, yes express your fears, yes process through everything you’re feeling, and then take your power back. Be the light for those enmeshed in darkness; send them light, send the situation light.

​Be in your center, and in your power. Watch your judgments and any desires to be righteous and let those go. Choose to hold the space for healing, for peaceful resolution. You are most effective when you emanate a frequency of love; do this for all involved. Declare what you desire to see instead of pain, instead of suffering, and feed that positive outcome.
 
You affect the whole. You can say you’re just one person but what if everyone said that? Instead, be the person who has hope. Who holds the light of hope even when things seem dark. Who sends the light to the places that most need it. Who imagines that light being like a flashlight, driving out the darkness.
 
It’s up to you how you create the future; it can be dark, or it can be filled with light. The choice is yours. Will you join me in the light?
 

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​We all have many different aspects of ourselves: the inner child, negative ego, inner adolescent, the critic, the conscious adult, the inner coach, etc. - who’s driving your bus? Is it the conscious adult aware you? Or have you given the wheel to someone else in the list above? Are they running roughshod through your life, smacking into buildings and ripping up gardens, or are you driving on course with purpose, focus, and empowerment?

An element of taking responsibility for your life is recognizing which part of you is responding, and thus driving the bus, in every given moment.  Only you can bring yourself into present time and respond as an adult. 
 
If you’re stuck in blame- still blaming mom and dad, blaming your circumstances, blaming others -you are not in your conscious adult; you have let your inner child or adolescent run the show. If you want to be treated like an adult and respected as an adult, you need to take your power back from those parts.
 
You are not a victim to any aspect of your life. This can be hard to realize, but if you’re stuck in blaming, there’s a part of you unwilling to take responsibility. However, you always have a choice as to how you respond, and you can choose differently. Daily, even hourly, you can make different choices that are empowering. That release the past and help you focus on the future.

Over a decade ago, I got completely triggered by something someone asked of me. I could tell my inner child was amping up with a vengeance because she was furious with the options presented. I paused the conversation with a brief, “Give me a moment,” excused myself, went into the bathroom, and threw a quiet temper tantrum with silent screaming for a minute or two, getting out all the stuck emotions. I gave my inner child full permission to vent all the reasons she was melting down. When she was done, I moved her aside, pulled myself together, tapped into my power, and came out of the bathroom to handle the situation like an adult. That technique worked so well, that I still use it as needed. And ironically, I was in a class last week and the teacher spoke of almost the exact same technique. So clearly others got the same idea I did and have put it into play. 
 
The key is to really go to town and stomp your feet etc., releasing everything negative your inner child, adolescent, or ego feel. Then come back out of the bathroom/room and calmly respond to the situation at hand. If you need more processing than a two-minute tantrum, then tell the other person you need to sit with what they said and walk away to work through the issue. This also is true of emails or texts- don’t respond out of emotional reactivity!

​Have adult you take the wheel. Your life is precious. Stop wasting it allowing the past to control and dictate your behavior; take conscious responsibility and choose how to spend your time and energy. The choice is yours. 

I don’t think we’re ever truly confused when it comes to making choices. We may say we are, but underneath, it’s usually because there’s fear blocking what we think we can have. Of our choices, one choice is the “shoulds” that speak to what’s expected of us or our duties and obligations, and the other choice is our true desire. For a myriad of reasons, we don’t think we can claim that which we truly desire, and so we create confusion. 
 
It can be scary to follow your dreams or to walk away from something/someone. It can be scary to declare the path you’re drawn to taking. So as a subconscious protection from stepping out and owning what we really want, and potentially disappointing/upsetting our family/friends, we get confused. But all that confusion is just noise. Noise preventing us from knowing the truth of what our gut really says. You need to drop out of the noise and go down into the gut.
 
Start with this: the next time you feel confused when faced with a choice, get out of your head, out of what everyone else says and what you think is “right,” and ask in the quiet stillness of your gut what direction to take/what your answer is. Be still and listen. It may not come at first. There may be programming to unravel of all the times you acquiesced or surrendered your will. But the answer is there. As is the knowing. They’re not in your head, they’re in your gut. 
 
When you get your answer, then act on it. Even if it’s out of your comfort zone, even if it’s scary. Change your perception and translate the fear as excitement and good nervousness for all the amazing things coming your way as you follow your truth.
 
Don’t worry how others will react. It’s your reality, you need to create a life you’re proud of. 
 
When people are dying, they regret the things they didn’t pursue, the courage they didn’t call upon. Don’t create a regret, create what you most desire. Move out of confusion, allow and receive clarity, and then move forward in the direction of your dreams.
 

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I have absolute faith in the future. Unwavering and complete faith. I have total faith in the world becoming new.
 
How, you might ask? Because I have chosen it, over and over, and I feed the future I want to see for the world, with not only my energy and attention, but also with my love and light. 
 
I know we didn’t come all this way to have things fail. And by “all this way,” I mean lifetimes of soul growth and conscious evolution. I certainly didn’t. 
 
We’re birthing a new world. A NEW world. That doesn’t happen overnight. The old Piscean age model of “power over” needs to crumble and be cleared out to make way for a new way of being: one of co-creation and cooperation with each other, and with the planet.
 
I know some of you may not see this. Some of you only see darkness and destruction. You aren’t able to see the light of possibility. Fear has won over your imagination. 
 
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Remember, you create your reality. You. Not government leaders, not anything external, you.
 
What do you want to see for the world? And do you want your negative ego/your fear to be in control? Or do you want to choose and consciously look for the light and let that win? 
 
It’s a choice. You choose how you see the world. Do you choose to see the problems, or focus on the solutions?
 
I’m not in denial of all that needs healing in our country and the world- not even close. If you’ve followed me long enough, you know that I’m not all love and light. I absolutely remind you that you have got to deal with your own personal darkness and excavate your rage and pain etc. 
 
You can’t just go right to a positive attitude if you don’t believe it. If you can only see through the eyes of fear, acknowledge that, work on it, and clear those energies out. If you feel dread, if you feel powerless, if you feel threatened - work through all of them. You’ll see in the world that which mirrors your beliefs.
 
If you’re tied to seeing the dark, what part of you has abdicated power? What part wants to, or is stuck in, seeing the nightmare? What do you get from that path? It might not be pretty: 
Maybe self-pity- “Omg look how awful others are. Poor me, I live in this dark reality.” 
Or blame- “I have no say, they’re doing it to me, to the world, it’s their fault.” 
Or rage that feeds righteousness- “They’re bad and wrong so I need to fight them and punish them back.” 
 
These are just a few examples, and none of them are pleasant, but you need to be honest with yourself as to what emotion is holding you, and your imagination, hostage to a negative world view and in a power struggle with darkness. What you struggle with persists, until it’s healed.
 
When you can heal that in you, there will be less of it in the world. That’s part of being the solution. Heal you first and have less darkness in you first.
 
Then go back to your empowerment and faith in what you DO want to see. 
 
Of course, that’s not always going to be easy- hello- you’re human – and:
Stop giving your power away.
Own that you are powerful, and you choose which to feed: the light or the dark.
Own your light. And if that scares you, dive into why you’re stuck on you not mattering or being shameful etc.
 
What is the story you want to tell about the world? What is the story you want to tell about your place in the world? Are you a champion of the light, or perpetually fighting the dark, getting mired in it, and exhausting yourself? Just as turning on a light in a dark room eradicates the dark, the more light you are, the less dark that exists.
 
I’m standing for the light. Will you join me?