​Many of us (yes, I’m raising my hand too) have an issue with over-thinking: going into a mental spin and working ourselves up. 
 
Sometimes it’s with the overwhelm of all we need to accomplish, sometimes it’s because we’re taking things personally that aren’t personal (nothing is personal by the way), and sometimes, it’s because we’re taking on too much/doing too much/trying to control everything. 
 
These are just a few examples, the point is, we over-think things to death. We harp on issues of, “What did he mean when he said that to me?” or “Everything must be done perfectly, or it’ll be a disaster!” or “I have so much to do, I don’t have time!” 
 
(By the way- lack of anything- time, money, energy- is a huge precursor to the mental spin.)
 
We think, think, think, trying to find the solution, but what does all that thinking bring about? Stress. Nervous system overload. Feelings of powerlessness.
 
Because in that swirl of mental energy, we lift out of our body, and into the fast-moving chaos of the mind. We become ungrounded.
 
When we’re ungrounded, we’re more apt to be reactive, unfocused, scattered, anxious, and fearful.
 
Maybe we forget where we put our keys, or we snap at someone asking us a question. Maybe we can’t seem to complete a simple task without getting overwhelmed, or we’re frozen in indecision.
  
There is an elegant solution though. 
 
When you’re in a spin and can’t quiet your mind, focus on your feet. 
 
“What?” you may be saying. “How is focusing on my feet going to help?”
 
Here’s how- by focusing on your feet and really feeling them, you get out of your mind and back into your body. The feet are connected to the root or 1st chakra, which pertains to issues of safety and security. It’s the place from which we ground into the planet and anchor ourselves into our body. 
 
When we’re grounded, we can respond more truthfully and with wisdom to what we need to do. We become more clear-headed and decisive. We can let go of things that really don’t matter. We can be present to what’s in front of us, rather than being in old patterns of behavior or emotions, thereby making empowered choices. 
 
Slowing down and anchoring into the depth of your body brings the much-needed centered calm.
 
As a side note - if you’re used to moving fast, multitasking, and being out of your body, this may feel uncomfortable and off-putting at first, especially as you root into yourself. However, if you can stick with it and breathe through any discomfort, the benefits on every level are profound.

So, right now as you’re reading, pause, take some deep breaths, and drop your awareness into your feet.
 
Maybe you need to wiggle your toes to even sense them.
Feel them on the ground.
Don’t think about your feet, feel your feet.
 
Now, shift your focus between both feet, one at a time. 
Notice the temperature of each foot. 
Notice the width. 
Notice the weight of each foot.
 
Feel your big toes. Put your attention on each of your big toes. 
 
If you start feeling emotional, allow it, and keep focusing on your toes. 
 
Slowly move your attention to feeling your next toe, and the next, continuing until you reach the little toes.
 
Certain toes may be easier to sense than others. Don’t worry if you can’t quite feel some.
 
Now, feel the balls of your feet.
Feel the arches. 
Feel the heels. 
Feel the Earth below your feet. Not in theory, really feel gravity holding and supporting you.
 
Let your feet be heavy - as if they’re in sand or mud and it feels so good! 
 
Imagine roots growing downward from your arches, anchoring you to the planet - spreading wide and deep, steadying you like a tree, connecting you with the strength and calm of the Earth
 
Notice your breathing slows down. 
You begin to feel more settled. 
 
As you feel the soothing, healing, and calming frequency of the Earth- all the chaos releases, and inner quiet arises.
 
Because as you’re grounding your feet, you’re grounding any mental and emotional swirl you’re experiencing.
 
The more you’re settled in your body, the more you’re in your greatest place of empowerment, presence, and peace. 
 
Stay focused on your feet for as long as you need, and when you feel done, move forward bringing this grounded feeling with you into whatever comes next.

You can return to this meditation anytime you need to feel grounded and centered.
 
If you’d like to be guided through this practice, you can follow along with me here on YouTube.
 
Try this the next time you catch yourself spiraling and notice how different life feels when you’re rooted in your body, versus spinning in your head.
 
 
 

​After an eye doctor appointment recently, my eyes were so dilated that going outside and being in the light was painful. Full body painful. 
 
It reminded me of when I go into the dark place (previous blog) to help pull out a Soul fragment or do a Soul retrieval. In that place, I have to open the Soul very gently to the light, in micro increments. Too much light right away is extremely painful.
 
It’s the same when you shift out of a really low frequency into a lighter one. Meaning, if you’ve been living in despair or grief or rage, you can't jump right into happiness. It's too much of a leap for your system. It could even cause shame (pain) if you tried because it would be inauthentic and impossible to maintain. 
 
In 2020, I wrote about The Ladder of Emotions and how to truthfully move from constricting emotions, into expansive ones.
 
Since it’s been coming up a lot lately in sessions, the blog asked to be revisited. If you're looking for a technique to support emotional processing and vibrational healing, click here to read.
 
Because sometimes, the most loving thing we can do for ourselves, is to climb slowly.
​

Over the weekend, I was in the bath, and around 10 minutes in, I started to get super antsy. I couldn't settle down, and I wanted to get out. But I had the wherewithal to recognize that something was being triggered in my body as I started to relax, and I needed to breathe through it. 
 
Within the next five minutes, I suddenly went over that hurdle and was able to settle into incredible calm and peace.
 
It reminded me of how many times in our lives that just before we're about to have the breakthrough, the physical discomfort, distraction, and antsiness comes up to pull us away so that we're not able to get over that hump.
 
But if we just stick with it and ground and breathe and stay present to what's happening, rather than trying to escape, we can turn the corner. We can change the paradigm. 
 
Not always easy, believe me, I was jumping out of my skin at first, but I was grateful for the wise part of me that knew to stay with what is, versus running away from it.
 
This week, catch yourself if you find you’re distracting yourself or you’re super amped up to get out of your body, and instead, signal safety to your nervous system by putting your hand on your heart, focusing on your breathing, and feeling the earth below your feet. Go outside and breathe fresh air. Hug a tree. Walk barefoot in the grass. If you can’t get outside or you need more physical release- shake or hug your body or even jump around or dance it out. Allow the feeling to move through you, rather than trying to suppress or escape it.

Because the only way to release what’s activated is to allow it flow like a wave, instead of stopping it up with a dam. Because when a dam gets too full, it breaks. Take care of your feelings as they arise to ultimately create being more settled and peaceful in your body, and in your reality.

​

Blame...
Oof- that's a tough one! 
 
I recently realized I was blaming someone for my lack of inner peace. I knew I was giving my power away, but I hadn’t seen how much blame was tangled up in it—until I was talking it through with a girlfriend. Sometimes our negative behaviors aren’t obvious to us- it takes someone else to help shine a light. 

My blaming was problematic for a couple reasons, the biggest being that no one outside of us controls our experience of life. Nobody is doing anything to you, it's all your reaction, and I was reacting with self-pity and victim.
 
Is that pretty to look at? Not at all. But it’s often those very truths that open the door to real freedom—if we’re willing to be honest about them.
 
If we don’t face them, they live in our shadow and from there, they can do tremendous harm. Not to mention as I said above, completely eradicate our inner peace. 
 
As I said, I knew I was giving my power away, but no matter how many times I took my power back, it wasn't shifting the issue. Same with forgiveness—which, as you all know, I’m a huge proponent of.
 
The only thing that finally released the issue, was acknowledging the part of me that was getting off on blaming. That was getting to feel righteous from my blame, making them wrong and me right. 
 
Once I really sat with that and could own it, then I could finally take my power back and forgive. But not until I called out that negative payoff. 
 
You may have heard negative payoffs referred to as ‘secondary gains’—meaning, what do you subconsciously gain by staying in a negative situation?

This is a deep subject but for now, start observing if there's a negative pay off in a situation that you're unable to shift. Is there a part of you that wants to blame or go into self-pity or feel martyred? Is there a part of you that is happy that you get to rage against something or someone? Is there a part of you that gets to amplify a shame story you have? 
 
Again, not pretty, but necessary. 
 
And notice if there's a part of you that starts to argue right now. If there's a part of you that says that you don't love your rage or shame etc., but that it's necessary. That’s your negative ego acting up. It wants to keep you stuck in a negative emotional cycle with no resolution.
 
It's necessary to bring the negative payoffs to the light because when you can call them out, they no longer have power over you.
 
Here's my challenge to you- write me back and call out a negative payoff that you discover. Why? Because when you can not only own it, but say it to someone else, it takes away its power even more. It releases the part of you that wants to go into shame that something's wrong with you if you're not perfect. But none of us are perfect, we're human. That's part of the journey. 
 
I can own that self-pity has been a trap in my life, and the more I’m aware of and catch it, the less it runs the show. So, call it out, give it voice, and allow it to be released.
 
Because on the other side of it? Is beautiful freedom and the return of your power.
 

It's been a doozy this past week hasn't it? Not only is there chaos in the world, but it seems that everyone's personal chaos and issues are front and center. If you're feeling this, know that you're not alone.
 
On an energetic level, we’re emotionally cleaning house on our deep wounds. From fear to self-pity, doubt to lack of worth, anger, questioning things, confusion and frustration, some of our biggest issues are surfacing to be healed. The most common word I've heard so far in sessions this week, is "depression."
 
Typically, depression would be anger that you don't think you have a right to have, yet this depression also seems to be coming from too much chaos and not being able to catch up to ourselves.
 
What I mean by that, is that as spirits, we move quickly. However, bodies move slowly. It’s why we can heal a physical issue emotionally, but it may take time to show up in our physical reality. (I’m launching something soon in which we dive into topics such as this in much more detail.)
 
Part of the surfacing of our personal emotional Achilles heels, is us as a collective literally birthing a new world. And it can get really dark and messy before things level out and become so much more filled with light.
 
We're seeing that on a global scale, especially as the old paradigm of patriarchy and patriarchal control is gripping as tightly and loudly as possible. Here’s the good news though- it’s on its way out. Even if you can’t see or imagine that right now, it is.
 
We’re here for a bigger purpose. We’re here to usher in a new age, a new frequency and new paradigms of co-creation between the masculine and the feminine, and of collective unity.
 
When things get especially rough, it can be hard to remember that. That's when you taking care of yourself is the most important thing.
 
So, back to the beginning, we are healing our own darkest issues to ultimately heal the world. Because it starts with individual work first. And that's not fun, nor comfortable at times.
 
What to do when you're absolutely melting down? I'm going to put links to various techniques below. Pick and choose what works for you because sometimes a technique that has worked wonders, won't do anything, and sometimes something that wasn’t a favorite before, works wonders now. If you need to do multiple techniques, that’s ok too. I sure did over the weekend!
 
Here are previous blogs and YouTube videos to help:
7 Techniques To Help You Transcend Your Fears
Defeating Doubt
Healing for Panic Attacks, Fear and Anxiety
Anger Release Techniques
The Ladder of Emotions
EFT Tapping to Alleviate a Crisis
Sensory Engagement for Greater Presence
 
Ultimately, you need to come back to your center. You need to ground into yourself. Either an actual deep grounding (I have you run mud in this one which is phenomenally soothing when you’re fried and amped up) or technique to calm your nervous system and get present. Never underestimate the power of being in nature either. Get outside if and when you can.
 
Plus, you need to connect to your heart. Put your hands over your heart and breathe and center your consciousness there. Because the power is within. It's underneath all of the noise and all of the emotional trauma.
 
It’s not fun to be the caterpillar dissolving in the chrysalis, but think of how beautiful your butterfly wings will be once you come out. You got this!

 
If you're struggling right now, reach out to schedule a session—I’m here to help.

I want to sing the praises of the animated film Inside Out 2 this week.
 
Now before you tune out or dismiss me, hear me out…
 
Starting with the original, the writers did a brilliant job showing the personification of each emotion to help anyone watching recognize that while we have all the emotions, we’re not whatever emotion we’re experiencing. It’s temporary.
 
In the second version, the character of Anxiety is introduced. I know anxiety is a big issue for many of us, myself included, and I have to share with you something profound from that movie so spoiler alert, if you're going to watch, stop reading!
 
In the movie, Anxiety is showing the main character Riley all the worst-case scenarios that could happen. Anxiety is so amped up in terror over the worst possible outcomes, that she begins moving so fast, she blurs. The character of Joy comes over and puts her hand on Anxiety to begin to calm that frenetic energy. Then Joy says, “You don't get to determine who Riley is.”
 
That line made me burst into tears. Why? Because when we’re in an anxiety attack, it feels like that's who we are. It feels like we can't slow down or calm down. All the catastrophic scenarios, conscious or subconscious, are ruling us. And yet, anxiety doesn't get to determine who we are. It's a state of being that’s amplified from fear.
 
I find it fascinating that it's Joy that can alleviate Anxiety. And I get it, it's almost impossible to jump from fear to joy on an emotional scale during an anxiety attack. But, what if you do imagine something uplifting- either a memory or something you’d like to experience? Even if you’re making it up! For me, that can pull me out of the spin- imagining something fantastical in my reality.

Then, put your hands over your heart and as much as you can, breathe. Let your exhale be slightly longer than your inhale, to begin to calm the internal cyclone of thoughts and feelings. Feel your feet on the ground and come into present time. As you do that, remind yourself that you’re not your anxiety. This is temporary. This state of being doesn't determine who you really are.
 

One of the most powerful things I’ve ever trained myself to do in any given situation, is to respond, rather than react.
 
Reacting is a knee-jerk emotional response, whereas responding can be a grounded, present time choice.
 
When we react, we allow our emotions to dictate our communications. These emotions may have stemmed from past traumas or wounds. Reactivity lacks clarity because again, it’s based on a strong emotion. The thing or person “upsetting” us holds the cards. When another can influence our moods and behavior that greatly, we’ve given away our power to it/them. Plus, we leave present time, because we may be reacting from child or adolescent pain, or the way we saw the adults around us speaking when we were young.
 
To be empowered, one cannot react from their wounds.
 
Whereas when we respond, we can have a much more non-emotional, thoughtful thing to say. We can choose our words. We can choose to respond or not. We aren’t beholden to the person or thing in front of us; we retain our present time power.
 
Most importantly, responding is taking responsibility for our communications and impact.
 
Feel it in your body right now. If someone says something triggering and every part of you wants to lash out back at them, can you feel how that takes you out of yourself and engages you in a battle? Whereas if they say something upsetting and you take a moment to center back into yourself and breathe, to either respond or choose to walk away and respond later, how much more empowering that is? You own your power in that situation rather than giving it up to another by your emotional reaction.
 
Is this easy? Not necessarily! But it is doable. And it’s something that we need to train ourselves in. Meaning, we train ourselves to stop and breathe before sending that email, shooting off that text, lashing out at something someone said to us. When we are calm, we train ourselves to breathe first before any and all communications- good or bad. The more we train ourselves to breathe and ground before responding, the more likely we will be to respond from an empowered place, rather than react from any emotional one. This is also how we keep your inner child and adolescent from interfering in our present time reality.
 
I’m not saying you ignore your emotions. You vent them in a responsible way- meaning you write out what you really want to say on paper, in a blank email, or a blank note on your phone, to release all the emotions being stirred up. You say everything mean thing you’re thinking. And then you delete that email or note, or you shred that piece of paper. But you do NOT send it.
 
You get up and walk away. The longer you can sit with it, the better. Breathe. Go for a walk or at least step outside for a moment. Clear your head. Ground. Feel your feet on the floor. Center your awareness into yourself in present time. You take as much time as you need to respond, and only do so when you can write from a grounded, adult perspective.
 
If you’re in front of someone and you’re triggered, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. I totally do this. I silent scream or throw a silent temper tantrum to release the energy out of my body. Then I ground, center, and come out of the bathroom, able to respond as an adult, in present time.
 
Again, this is the most empowered form of communication because it’s based on us being accountable for our response and our emotions, and creating calm, rather than amplifying any anger or hurt.
 
Try it, and notice how by your shift, all communications around you are elevated and become more respectful. It starts with you.
​
 

Link to the YouTube I created for you on this subject.
 

My gardener ripped out an Oak tree I’d been nurturing for seven years. It was growing slowly but steadily. As soon as I saw the empty pot, disbelief turned to immediate rage. Rage at the callous way the pot was left, and rage at not telling me what he did. I was furious.
 
I didn’t try to diminish my emotions, nor tamp them down. I let myself feel all my various emotions, while watering my other plants.
 
I then vented my emotions in a safe and responsible way by making sure not to take them out on anyone else; they were mine to experience and process through.
 
Rage itself isn’t bad. It’s what you do with it and how you handle it that makes all the difference. And sometimes, there’s more to the rage when you dive down into it. Which in my case, was grief. I let myself feel that fully as well, and release what was needed.
 
Many people were taught to suppress emotions or only express the “nice” ones. But your feelings matter and giving them voice responsibly is the only way to release them.

Processing through your emotions takes time; it may not be a one and done. I got hit with another wave of anger as I proofread this blog. But the anger wasn't the white-hot rage it was yesterday when I first saw my plant. That’s because I took the time to acknowledge and fully feel my feelings in the moment. 
 
It may not always be possible to dive into your feelings in the moment. Address them when you have the quiet time and space to release. Even if you have to go out to your car or into the bathroom to do so. 
 
I've done a lot of emotional work so sometimes I’m able to process quickly. If you haven't, move gently with yourself as you open to expressing what you're feeling. And as I’ve stressed, most importantly, be responsible. Which again means not taking it out on others; especially those closest to you. 
 
If the emotion doesn't dissipate after much time and processing, you need to ask yourself what's really going on below the surface or what you're gaining by keeping the emotion alive. That's a fine line that only you can answer because big wounds take time to heal and can’t be rushed (this is especially true of grief). You need to find your truth. Recognize the difference between when there’s more healing to done, and when you're inadvertently keeping the emotional pain alive and it's time to set down the anger etc. and move on.

 Here are some techniques from prior blogs to help:

Emotional Cognizance
Anger Release Techniques
The Ladder of Emotions
A Map for Healing Intense Emotions
Coping With the Complexities of Grief

May these help you to work with your emotions, rather than being at the mercy of them. It's safe to feel and express the full range of your emotions.

To further the discussion from last week regarding emotions and stories, I had a morning recently when fear was loud, and I knew I needed to change the frequency before it spiraled out of control.
 
I started by acknowledging it and saying, “Hey fear, I hear you, I feel you, and I'm not going down that road.”
 
I could still hear it, so I then gently added, “Stop it.”
 
I took some deep breaths, grounded myself to the center of the planet, then imagined dropping the fear out of my body and aura. I imagined the heaviness of that emotion, like a lead weight, dropping deep into the ground to be transmuted. I kept dropping it until I felt lighter.
 
Simultaneously, I chose not to engage the story it was trying to tell. That’s the mental spin and the opposite, the healing, is full presence and connection to earth energy. I ran slow, calming, brown earth energy through my body.  (previous blog)

As that was soothing my body, I took my power back from fear. (previous blog)

I then asked myself, “What do I choose to experience instead?”
 
Depending on the fear, you’ll know what you need. It could be a sense of having or being enough, safety, radiant health, peace etc.
 
I created a simple statement to augment what I chose in place of the fear and kept repeating the new statement.
 
For example: “I am safe.”
“My body is now healing beautifully.”
“There is always enough money (or time).”  
“Everything is now falling into place easily and elegantly.”
“I am safe, even when facing the unknown.”
 
I kept breathing out any remaining fear, while grounding in present time and stating my name, the date, and the time. I also tapped around my left ear to re-set my brain and nervous system (video reminder here).

Once the fear released and I felt calm, I acknowledged that present and future me is in charge, not fear. So again, using the power of choice, I asked, “What am I choosing to draw to me?”
 
I got a vision of the future I wanted in place of the fearful future. That could be an image of you as healthy, safe, or financially secure etc. Whatever issue fear was stirring up, see its exact opposite reality and imagine grabbing it from the future, and pulling it into the now.
 
Then feel fully the feelings of peace, safety, health, enoughness, or happiness, and let what you desire be the only feelings you feel.
 
I know sometimes fear feels bigger than you but it’s not. The more quickly you catch it as it’s building, the more you stop the production of stress hormones and re-wire your neural pathways to allow less of it in the future. Think of it as a train that you refuse to let leave the station. You have the power to stop a fear spiral.
 
 
 

Typically, I like to understand why I’m feeling the way I am such as, “Why am I in a bad mood? What got triggered? Where does this feeling come from?”
 
But part of what I've been working on, is how to simply be with whatever is occurring, without diving into the details. Staying in my body, rather than spinning in mental thoughts.
 
That can be difficult. But I also realize that it’s a hook. Needing to know and understand hooks me back into the story or the wound or the emotional trauma that’s surfacing, thus taking me out of the present moment. It’s a way to think the emotion, versus feel it.
 
I had to put this into play when I unexpectedly felt intense anger the other night. It was so out of the blue and had nothing to do with what was going on. I knew that an old wound must have inadvertently gotten opened because it felt so out of present time. All I could do was be with it.
 
-First, I made sure to be responsible with my anger, which meant going somewhere private, so I didn’t negatively impact those around me. I acknowledged, allowed, and felt the anger fully, without judgment.
 
-Then I grounded myself in present time. I also stated my name, the date, and the time out loud, which is an easy way to pull yourself into the now.
 
-Finally, I sent myself love. I loved myself even though I was triggered. I loved all the parts of me that were clearly upset. I opened my heart for self-compassion and kept bringing myself into the present moment, while acknowledging that I was safe.
 
The more I did that, the calmer I got, and the more the emotion dissipated.

I still don't know what triggered the anger, and I consciously chose not to “figure it out.” I've been working to neutralize old pain, versus stir it back up by reiterating an old story. It has no bearing on my present unless I allow it to, nor is it something I want to continue creating in my future. Therefore, releasing the layers as they surface, and choosing to experience more peace instead.
 
Remember, your power lies in your body, in present time. Not in the mental spin. Be free of the past by staying in the present.