Anxiety has been surfacing more for me lately and so I decided to have a talk with it. Turns out it’s telling me I’m not doing it “right,” and that there’s not enough time.
Hmmmm... perfection and lack- hello old friends; I know them well. They crop up every so often.
However, perfection doesn’t play out for me in typical ways. I’m pretty messy emotionally; I’m fine with anger, rage, sadness- the full spectrum. I can be real with what I feel. My home can be cluttered in areas; I don’t need it to be perfect. I have no problem showing up places without makeup and being comfortable - YET, if there’s an event where I know I’ll be photographed, my hair has to be just so. I judge myself mercilessly. Same with when I was acting and auditioning: there was a fine line as to when I felt acceptable and when I felt ugly. Yes- strong word because it’s true.
It also plays out in subtle ways of not doing enough or as if I need to acquire more and more information to do it “perfectly”- whatever that “it” may be. And because it can be subtle for me, I don’t always catch that that’s what’s going on.
I’ve recently started challenging these core beliefs, not that I haven’t worked on them thoroughly before, yet clearly there’s something going on during this time of intense astrological energies and Covid lockdown, as my friends and many of you, are finding deep, deep issues coming back up to finally be cleared out back to their core.
The thing about perfection is that it's such a static energy, it stalls you and completely blocks your creativity. If you’re trying to do it “perfectly,” you may never create at all. You certainly won’t take risks for fear of what will happen if you fall short. You may always feel small and not voice the truth of who you are. It is a huge hindrance to freedom.
For some of you, perfection plays out in being afraid of what others will think. The perfection becomes a terror of embarrassment or humiliation, therefore you need to look and act perfectly to be acceptable. You may even impose those high standards on your loved ones, expecting them to act and behave perfectly as well (this is called control).
Perfection is exhausting, it definitely drains you because you can’t be real. You may not feel safe if you appear less than perfect.
As for not enough, this is a sure-fire way to know your negative ego is involved as it loves to whisper that lie to you. If you always feel that you’re not enough or that there's not enough, again you’ll hide, you won’t pursue your dreams, you’ll defer to others, and if the lack is extra strong in regard to objects, you’ll become stingy because that lack mentality will make you want to hold on to everything (hording toilet paper anyone?).
For me, not enough time is how my negative ego likes to stress me out. So then I get anxious and don’t use the time I do have wisely. Vicious cycle, right? When I can catch it, it’s a totally different story. I use time wisely and definitely have extra of it.
How many of you have held yourselves back thinking you’re not enough to pursue this or attain that? I can pretty much guarantee that even hugely successful people have felt that way. The key is, they didn’t let it stop them. They moved forward despite that feeling.
Ask yourself how perfect you need to be, to be enough.*
These issues don’t play out constantly, they can be insidious and come up when you least expect them. Which is why awareness is key. The awareness to say, “Not this time!”
Sometimes easy, sometimes not.
This is when you need more tools for your spiritual tool belt.
As soon as you realize it, you can change it. Some things that help are:
Bottom line- take your power back from these faulty ideas of perfection and not being good enough. You in PRESENT time have the power. Not the past, not the future. You. Here. Now.
Which reminds me of a great and simple technique my dear friend Holly Higgins uses whenever she can tell she’s out of present time and stuck in an issue:
You ask yourself, “Where am I?”
And you answer, “Here.”
Then you ask yourself, “What time is it?”
And you answer, “Now.”
Seemingly simple but boy does it work.
I know I’m not the only one who’s had perfection and enoughness surface lately, so instead of fighting them and trying to ignore them, talk to them, give them voice, and then turn them over to your Higher Self to be healed and released. And if all else fails, then simply be with what is; that you’re feeling massive perfection and not good enough.
It’s time to show up powerfully and with your voice and your uniqueness. And if I didn’t write perfectly enough about perfection, that’s OK, I’m human ;)
* Nick Ortner posed this question in a guided tapping meditation.
I’ve been listening to many of you and I know the pain of loneliness is immense right now. So for those of you experiencing this, I’ve recorded a guided meditation to release the pain, to bring you back to a state of oneness, and to help you to see who you really are.
Part of transcending loneliness involves a greater depth of connection with yourself because as you see the truth of who you are, you realize you're never alone.
This meditation is also for those feeling disconnected in any way, or for those experiencing any isolating feelings such as grief or pain - anything that causes you to feel that no one is there for you.
May it help tremendously.
Music by J. Jessup
In 2005, Lazaris (a channeled entity) gave us a map for healing emotions called, "The Tiers of Emotion." It’s a process by which you climb the ladder of emotions from the most constrictive and heavy, to the most light and freeing. It’s a tool for acknowledging and healing what you’re feeling in order to raise your emotional vibration. Some of you may be familiar with the Abraham-Hicks Emotional Guidance scale. It’s very similar to the Lazaris one: slight differences, same concept.
The Tiers of Emotion©
Happiness & Wonder
Passion & Compassion
Trust & Hope
Boredom & Impatience
Frustration & Confusion
Worry & Doubt
Guilt & Sadness
How to use:
Whenever you’re in the throes of an emotion, look at the scale and determine where you are. Name the feeling. Naming it helps you to own it.
The key is not to judge where you are emotionally, but to accept it: don’t see the emotion as bad or wrong. When you can accept and own what you’re feeling, then you’re able to give it a voice in order to more easily move through it. Plus, in owning it, you release your resistance to feeling it.
Simply state for example, “Right now I feel despair.”
Now you have to feel the emotion; let yourself go there fully. You can only heal emotions by diving into them completely. What is the despair about? Feel it, experience it, vent it. You can talk about it to yourself or write about it; go fully in. This doesn’t have to take long, but you do need to honor what it’s trying to express.
When you’ve released the despair thoroughly, you can climb the ladder to either loneliness or rage. As you climb, you can only do so one or two steps at a time; never more than two. Why? Because you wouldn’t be able to authentically jump vibrations faster. If you tried, you’d be denying the truth of what each step is trying to show you. Plus, if you’re truly in a rage, there is no way you could jump immediately to optimism. That is why the statement, “Just be positive!” can be discounting of what you’re experiencing.
Back to our example: let’s say loneliness really doesn’t resonate with you but oh, rage does. And remember, rage isn't always loud, sometimes it can be silent; a rage that’s so powerful there are no words. That rage can play out in apathy or exhaustion.
So now at rage, vent it. What about this situation/experience causes rage? Feel it fully.
When it’s complete, climb to the next emotion, and maybe it’s blame. Within blame is sense of powerlessness- "it’s their fault." This is also where you may find your victim story, your feelings of righteousness against others, or maybe self-blame. Whatever comes up, delve into it.
Now be aware that as you excavate emotions, you may hear a voice saying for example, that blame isn’t enlightened or whatever other excuses it comes up with. Do not listen. That is the ego mind trying to stop you from diving deep into the feeling to clear it. This scale is designed to heal the emotions. Get out of your head and into your feelings.
In the lower tier, blame is a numbing agent. We sometimes stay stuck there to not feel our other emotions, especially the rage, loneliness and despair below it. Just be conscious that if you start there, make sure you aren’t denying a deeper emotion.
As you climb, once you’ve released hurt or fear, you can leap to the middle tier, into anger. Even though anger may feel heavy, it’s a much lighter vibration than rage or jealousy etc. If you’re not feeling anger and you cleared fear, you can go to pessimism. Honor what’s true for you; again, one or two steps at a time.
In the 2nd tier, self-pity is the numbing agent. Similar to blame, it’s a place where powerlessness and your victim story can thrive. If you feel self-pity first, check if you’re avoiding what’s below it. And maybe you’re not, maybe self-pity truly is what you feel. If so, go into the “poor me” feelings you have. Self-denial, and the, “it’s fine” when it’s really not, hides here as does overwhelm, refusing to receive, and self-punishment.
In the 2nd tier, some of the emotions have two names; see which is most true for you in the moment. Maybe you’re not feeling sadness but you sure feel guilt. Or maybe worry is what you can tap into versus doubt. It’ll change depending on the situation so honor the truth of the moment.
As you climb into the upper tier, you need to stop at well-being first. Now, that might be as far as you can go on a certain day. That’s fantastic, at least you raised your resonance high enough to get up there. If you can keep going, wonderful, if you can’t, feel into well-being/contentment and just let that live in you.
On a side note, apropos to right now, if you’re feeling anxiety that could mean you have too much energy in the future, or it could also be the denial of an emotion. For today’s discussion, let’s excavate the emotion: most likely it’s fear. What fear are you not acknowledging? Go to fear on the tier, and dive into it. When you’re done, climb up to anger and see if maybe what you’re really angry at is that you don’t feel safe, or that your safety is being threatened.
It may not always be fear, but the majority of the time that's what’s below the anxiety. It could also be worry, or anger: it could be the denial of a myriad of emotions. Feel into the anxiety and see what it wants to say. And if you get no response, start with fear.
Back to the Tiers, there is one addition I would add that while not in the Lazaris version, it is in Abraham-Hicks one: on the upper tier, along with love are the emotions of joy and appreciation. While there are subtle differences in those energies, ultimately joy and appreciation open the heart the way love does. They are incredibly high resonances. So if you can’t tap into love, tap into joy or appreciation.
The more you use this ladder to climb from wherever you are on the bottom to the top, the more elegantly you'll process and move through your emotions. Some days it may take awhile to climb, and other days you’ll be able to climb up quite quickly. Allow this to be a powerful tool you can add to your tool belt to help you release the constricting emotions holding you down so that you can raise your energy and vibration to experience a more joyful reality.
To download a copy of The Tiers of Emotion, click below:
Thank You to Concept Synergy for allowing me to share this with you all!
Tiers of Emotion by Lazaris, Copyright 2005, Concept: Synergy, Inc.
The Lazaris Material is produced by Concept: Synergy, PO Box 1789, Sonoma, CA 95476
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Me, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!