I want to sing the praises of the animated film Inside Out 2 this week.
 
Now before you tune out or dismiss me, hear me out…
 
Starting with the original, the writers did a brilliant job showing the personification of each emotion to help anyone watching recognize that while we have all the emotions, we’re not whatever emotion we’re experiencing. It’s temporary.
 
In the second version, the character of Anxiety is introduced. I know anxiety is a big issue for many of us, myself included, and I have to share with you something profound from that movie so spoiler alert, if you're going to watch, stop reading!
 
In the movie, Anxiety is showing the main character Riley all the worst-case scenarios that could happen. Anxiety is so amped up in terror over the worst possible outcomes, that she begins moving so fast, she blurs. The character of Joy comes over and puts her hand on Anxiety to begin to calm that frenetic energy. Then Joy says, “You don't get to determine who Riley is.”
 
That line made me burst into tears. Why? Because when we’re in an anxiety attack, it feels like that's who we are. It feels like we can't slow down or calm down. All the catastrophic scenarios, conscious or subconscious, are ruling us. And yet, anxiety doesn't get to determine who we are. It's a state of being that’s amplified from fear.
 
I find it fascinating that it's Joy that can alleviate Anxiety. And I get it, it's almost impossible to jump from fear to joy on an emotional scale during an anxiety attack. But, what if you do imagine something uplifting- either a memory or something you’d like to experience? Even if you’re making it up! For me, that can pull me out of the spin- imagining something fantastical in my reality.

Then, put your hands over your heart and as much as you can, breathe. Let your exhale be slightly longer than your inhale, to begin to calm the internal cyclone of thoughts and feelings. Feel your feet on the ground and come into present time. As you do that, remind yourself that you’re not your anxiety. This is temporary. This state of being doesn't determine who you really are.
 

One of the most powerful things I’ve ever trained myself to do in any given situation, is to respond, rather than react.
 
Reacting is a knee-jerk emotional response, whereas responding can be a grounded, present time choice.
 
When we react, we allow our emotions to dictate our communications. These emotions may have stemmed from past traumas or wounds. Reactivity lacks clarity because again, it’s based on a strong emotion. The thing or person “upsetting” us holds the cards. When another can influence our moods and behavior that greatly, we’ve given away our power to it/them. Plus, we leave present time, because we may be reacting from child or adolescent pain, or the way we saw the adults around us speaking when we were young.
 
To be empowered, one cannot react from their wounds.
 
Whereas when we respond, we can have a much more non-emotional, thoughtful thing to say. We can choose our words. We can choose to respond or not. We aren’t beholden to the person or thing in front of us; we retain our present time power.
 
Most importantly, responding is taking responsibility for our communications and impact.
 
Feel it in your body right now. If someone says something triggering and every part of you wants to lash out back at them, can you feel how that takes you out of yourself and engages you in a battle? Whereas if they say something upsetting and you take a moment to center back into yourself and breathe, to either respond or choose to walk away and respond later, how much more empowering that is? You own your power in that situation rather than giving it up to another by your emotional reaction.
 
Is this easy? Not necessarily! But it is doable. And it’s something that we need to train ourselves in. Meaning, we train ourselves to stop and breathe before sending that email, shooting off that text, lashing out at something someone said to us. When we are calm, we train ourselves to breathe first before any and all communications- good or bad. The more we train ourselves to breathe and ground before responding, the more likely we will be to respond from an empowered place, rather than react from any emotional one. This is also how we keep your inner child and adolescent from interfering in our present time reality.
 
I’m not saying you ignore your emotions. You vent them in a responsible way- meaning you write out what you really want to say on paper, in a blank email, or a blank note on your phone, to release all the emotions being stirred up. You say everything mean thing you’re thinking. And then you delete that email or note, or you shred that piece of paper. But you do NOT send it.
 
You get up and walk away. The longer you can sit with it, the better. Breathe. Go for a walk or at least step outside for a moment. Clear your head. Ground. Feel your feet on the floor. Center your awareness into yourself in present time. You take as much time as you need to respond, and only do so when you can write from a grounded, adult perspective.
 
If you’re in front of someone and you’re triggered, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. I totally do this. I silent scream or throw a silent temper tantrum to release the energy out of my body. Then I ground, center, and come out of the bathroom, able to respond as an adult, in present time.
 
Again, this is the most empowered form of communication because it’s based on us being accountable for our response and our emotions, and creating calm, rather than amplifying any anger or hurt.
 
Try it, and notice how by your shift, all communications around you are elevated and become more respectful. It starts with you.
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Link to the YouTube I created for you on this subject.
 

My gardener ripped out an Oak tree I’d been nurturing for seven years. It was growing slowly but steadily. As soon as I saw the empty pot, disbelief turned to immediate rage. Rage at the callous way the pot was left, and rage at not telling me what he did. I was furious.
 
I didn’t try to diminish my emotions, nor tamp them down. I let myself feel all my various emotions, while watering my other plants.
 
I then vented my emotions in a safe and responsible way by making sure not to take them out on anyone else; they were mine to experience and process through.
 
Rage itself isn’t bad. It’s what you do with it and how you handle it that makes all the difference. And sometimes, there’s more to the rage when you dive down into it. Which in my case, was grief. I let myself feel that fully as well, and release what was needed.
 
Many people were taught to suppress emotions or only express the “nice” ones. But your feelings matter and giving them voice responsibly is the only way to release them.

Processing through your emotions takes time; it may not be a one and done. I got hit with another wave of anger as I proofread this blog. But the anger wasn't the white-hot rage it was yesterday when I first saw my plant. That’s because I took the time to acknowledge and fully feel my feelings in the moment. 
 
It may not always be possible to dive into your feelings in the moment. Address them when you have the quiet time and space to release. Even if you have to go out to your car or into the bathroom to do so. 
 
I've done a lot of emotional work so sometimes I’m able to process quickly. If you haven't, move gently with yourself as you open to expressing what you're feeling. And as I’ve stressed, most importantly, be responsible. Which again means not taking it out on others; especially those closest to you. 
 
If the emotion doesn't dissipate after much time and processing, you need to ask yourself what's really going on below the surface or what you're gaining by keeping the emotion alive. That's a fine line that only you can answer because big wounds take time to heal and can’t be rushed (this is especially true of grief). You need to find your truth. Recognize the difference between when there’s more healing to done, and when you're inadvertently keeping the emotional pain alive and it's time to set down the anger etc. and move on.

 Here are some techniques from prior blogs to help:

Emotional Cognizance
Anger Release Techniques
The Ladder of Emotions
A Map for Healing Intense Emotions
Coping With the Complexities of Grief

May these help you to work with your emotions, rather than being at the mercy of them. It's safe to feel and express the full range of your emotions.

To further the discussion from last week regarding emotions and stories, I had a morning recently when fear was loud, and I knew I needed to change the frequency before it spiraled out of control.
 
I started by acknowledging it and saying, “Hey fear, I hear you, I feel you, and I'm not going down that road.”
 
I could still hear it, so I then gently added, “Stop it.”
 
I took some deep breaths, grounded myself to the center of the planet, then imagined dropping the fear out of my body and aura. I imagined the heaviness of that emotion, like a lead weight, dropping deep into the ground to be transmuted. I kept dropping it until I felt lighter.
 
Simultaneously, I chose not to engage the story it was trying to tell. That’s the mental spin and the opposite, the healing, is full presence and connection to earth energy. I ran slow, calming, brown earth energy through my body.  (previous blog)

As that was soothing my body, I took my power back from fear. (previous blog)

I then asked myself, “What do I choose to experience instead?”
 
Depending on the fear, you’ll know what you need. It could be a sense of having or being enough, safety, radiant health, peace etc.
 
I created a simple statement to augment what I chose in place of the fear and kept repeating the new statement.
 
For example: “I am safe.”
“My body is now healing beautifully.”
“There is always enough money (or time).”  
“Everything is now falling into place easily and elegantly.”
“I am safe, even when facing the unknown.”
 
I kept breathing out any remaining fear, while grounding in present time and stating my name, the date, and the time. I also tapped around my left ear to re-set my brain and nervous system (video reminder here).

Once the fear released and I felt calm, I acknowledged that present and future me is in charge, not fear. So again, using the power of choice, I asked, “What am I choosing to draw to me?”
 
I got a vision of the future I wanted in place of the fearful future. That could be an image of you as healthy, safe, or financially secure etc. Whatever issue fear was stirring up, see its exact opposite reality and imagine grabbing it from the future, and pulling it into the now.
 
Then feel fully the feelings of peace, safety, health, enoughness, or happiness, and let what you desire be the only feelings you feel.
 
I know sometimes fear feels bigger than you but it’s not. The more quickly you catch it as it’s building, the more you stop the production of stress hormones and re-wire your neural pathways to allow less of it in the future. Think of it as a train that you refuse to let leave the station. You have the power to stop a fear spiral.
 
 
 

Typically, I like to understand why I’m feeling the way I am such as, “Why am I in a bad mood? What got triggered? Where does this feeling come from?”
 
But part of what I've been working on, is how to simply be with whatever is occurring, without diving into the details. Staying in my body, rather than spinning in mental thoughts.
 
That can be difficult. But I also realize that it’s a hook. Needing to know and understand hooks me back into the story or the wound or the emotional trauma that’s surfacing, thus taking me out of the present moment. It’s a way to think the emotion, versus feel it.
 
I had to put this into play when I unexpectedly felt intense anger the other night. It was so out of the blue and had nothing to do with what was going on. I knew that an old wound must have inadvertently gotten opened because it felt so out of present time. All I could do was be with it.
 
-First, I made sure to be responsible with my anger, which meant going somewhere private, so I didn’t negatively impact those around me. I acknowledged, allowed, and felt the anger fully, without judgment.
 
-Then I grounded myself in present time. I also stated my name, the date, and the time out loud, which is an easy way to pull yourself into the now.
 
-Finally, I sent myself love. I loved myself even though I was triggered. I loved all the parts of me that were clearly upset. I opened my heart for self-compassion and kept bringing myself into the present moment, while acknowledging that I was safe.
 
The more I did that, the calmer I got, and the more the emotion dissipated.

I still don't know what triggered the anger, and I consciously chose not to “figure it out.” I've been working to neutralize old pain, versus stir it back up by reiterating an old story. It has no bearing on my present unless I allow it to, nor is it something I want to continue creating in my future. Therefore, releasing the layers as they surface, and choosing to experience more peace instead.
 
Remember, your power lies in your body, in present time. Not in the mental spin. Be free of the past by staying in the present.
 
 

I’ve heard from so many of you that last week was intense and emotions were high. Not only for you personally, but from what you were witnessing in others.
 
Since you cannot change others, sometimes you need to just walk away and breathe. Don’t engage crazy (see previous blog); take the high road. And when it comes to you, be cognizant of your own emotions. 
 
The only way through an emotion is to feel it. Fully. Don’t judge it, nor try to bury or deny it. Sink into the feeling of it, no matter how uncomfortable, and express it. Ideally to yourself through speaking it or journaling it, or simply being with it. You will release it by allowing it. 
 
Whatever you do, don’t take it out on others by venting or dumping it on them; be responsible with your feelings. If you need to talk it out with another, then do so to understand the emotion, not to simply purge it into another’s space.
 
Recognize that the emotion may not feel rational because it may not be in present time; maybe it’s been repressed and is now coming to the surface to be released. If it feels that way, ask the emotion where it comes from and then sit quietly and be open to any images or flashes of insight from your subconscious. A full memory may surface, or snippets of awareness.
 
If it’s from a painful time, again, don’t try to shove it back down and repress it. If you really don’t want to keep feeling it, you need to accept it. For example, while breathing it out say, “I accept I feel incredible fury because of X. I honor this fury and release it now with every exhale. I choose my freedom and inner peace in its place.”

Imagine the emotion as a color that you exhale out from your whole body, specifically the places it’s been trapped, and then see the energies you want in its place- in the example above, freedom and inner peace- as a color and breath those in. If you don’t know where it sits in your body, that’s fine. Don’t get in your head with it, just accept and release it. If you resist it, it’ll be like glue in your space.

​You may need to repeat that multiple times until the emotion dissipates and transforms.
 
Also be aware that there’s a difference between, for example, anger, rage, fury, and hostility, just like there’s a difference between sadness, grief, disappointment, and despair etc. Sometimes anger is simply anger and sometimes it’s really i.e., vengeance. The more you can call out the exact truth of the emotion versus just blanket words such as anger and sadness, the easier it is to release it down to its core. 
 
If you need, look up synonyms for the main feeling and see which resonates as the real emotion.
 
Remember as well, grounding yourself is key when emotions and chaos are high. Yes I’m a broken record, but earth energy and connecting to the planet can transmute emotional intensity. Think of the energies right now like a tornado; it’s easy to get swept up in them. You can either be flying around, feeling out of sorts, crabby and tired, or you could be grounded, in your body, and feeling the tornado as simply a light breeze blowing past. Grounding will help prevent you from short circuiting due to emotional overload.
 
The more you can honor the truth of your experience, the easier it’ll be to transform it into something lighter. Remember, feeling the emotion is key. You don’t need to stay with it or wallow in it, but do feel it fully in order to move through to the other side, where freedom and beauty awaits.
 
 

I was listening to a discussion recently, and the sound healer I sometimes quote, Eileen McKusick, pointed out something that some of us know, but maybe hadn’t really thought about. There’s a phrasing in the romance languages where you have something versus be it. For example, “I am having hunger,” instead of, "I am hungry." Taking that premise, what would happen if we applied that principle to our emotions?
 
The wording, “I am” is an incredibly strong and powerful statement that we throw around all the time. When we use it, we claim ownership of whatever follows. Which is why you should be judicious with your words and thoughts. Now to the topic at hand: when you're feeling an emotion, instead of claiming it with an “I am,” what if you shift your thinking and you have it instead? Having something is temporary and transitory; it can pass through you quickly. Owning something is harder to shed and makes it more ingrained.
 
Here’s an example: I woke up in a mood recently and found myself saying, “I am so crabby!” Then I started looking for the reasons why I was so crabby. As I was doing that, I realized I was beginning to create a story about the crabbiness, as well as an association – i.e., it was the food I ate or it must be a certain supplement, etc. Now maybe neither of those were the case and yet I was about to tell myself a whole story with negative associations and dig that crabbiness in even further.
 
Thankfully I caught myself and with a swift, “cancel clear!”- my favorite way of deleting whatever negative thought I say/think- I decided to shift my experience. I started by saying, “I am having crabbiness.” I repeated it a few times. What that did first of all, was help me to acknowledge the crabbiness with nothing attached to it. It was simply what I was experiencing in that moment. A temporary feeling that I accepted and let myself express. The more I owned it as a temporary state, the more it began to dissipate.
 
Every time I wanted to blame something or someone for my mood, I pulled myself out of victim, took my power back, and simply stated again that I was having the crabbiness. Without attachment.
 
The next step was to choose what I wanted instead; remember the power of choice. I chose to feel calm and at peace. 
 
As I continued to do this, eventually, the crabbiness completely disappeared. This wasn’t immediate, nor did I feel completely calm right away, but I kept choosing it and I kept releasing waves of crabbiness when they would come up. Acknowledge, and release.
 
I also had to remind myself who was in charge in my reality: my conscious aware self, or my emotions. I chose my conscious aware self.
 
Now listen, all that being said, sometimes you’re straight up angry or sad for a very specific reason and you need to process that. In those cases, allow yourself to feel the emotion fully and vent everything going on in a responsible way, so that ultimately you can release the pain below the emotion. (See previous blogs on emotional healing) 
 
Why I write a lot about things like this, is because I want you to be more empowered throughout your day, not just when you’re sitting down to ground yourself. I want you to feel like you have the power to shift whatever is going on in your reality, because you do!
 
So, if it appeals to you, play with this concept this week. Allow anything negative to be fleeting, so that you can focus on and create, more of what you desire.
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I think sometimes in my blogs I come across as always being very calm and levelheaded. To bust open that curtain, that is not the truth at all. While I can be calm and levelheaded, I’m also quite fiery. I can have a short fuse sometimes in regard to anger. I try to be as responsible as I can with my anger, which means not throwing it harmfully at others.
 
I bring this up now because last week, not only was I furious at the injustice of politicians who try to skirt democracy, but also because fear has been, and continues to be, super high in the world, and especially in the United States. And what do most people do when they're afraid? They get angry.
 
Yes, I teach you how to create from an empowered place, and simultaneously, we’re human so emotions are going to be hot sometimes. You cannot deny them, you have to own them and work through them.
 
Since anger’s been coming up a lot lately in sessions, and many of you have asked, here are the tools I use to work through/release it:
 
First, anger itself isn’t bad. You have to get over that notion. It’s how you express it that can be healthy, or incinerating and detrimental. 
 
Maybe you grew up in a household where one parent, or both, were always angry and fighting. Maybe because of that, you either decided to never be angry (which can lead to depression or passive aggressive behavior), or you go full force with yours. If you’re a woman, you may have been taught that it wasn’t ladylike to be angry or that good girls aren’t angry. Any of these scenarios make anger bad and wrong and can lead to health issues if suppressed, or relationship issues if overly expressed in harmful ways. 
 
Before I give techniques, be wise. If your anger is out of control and harmful to yourself or others, get professional help. I’m speaking in this blog to those who want to learn how to responsibly release anger, not those who fear they could do something violent. 
 
That being said, here are some techniques. You may like different ones at different times; find what works best for you. And this is by far not a complete list. I don’t purport to be an expert, just someone who has worked through tons of her own anger and rage.
 
 
1: Go into a Rage Bubble.
 
Personally, this is my favorite technique and one that works brilliantly for me. When I’m angry, I go into rage bubble. Through that technique, I can say and release what I need, in a safe way for all. 
 
I have that technique on my page, here.
 
 
2: Writing It Out:
 
Writing is another favorite. Whether venting in a journal or writing a hate letter. 
 
~ If you journal it, you can burn the papers after if it’ll give you satisfaction, but it’s not necessary. Sometimes I’ve waited until my journal is full to shred or destroy the energy contained within. 

​You need to be real and honest with yourself when writing. If you find yourself editing what you want to say, stop. Show yourself the truth. No one else will ever see what you’ve written. This technique is not for re-reading or showing yourself in a good light; it is fully for release.

~ As for the hate letter, this is based on a Lazaris technique:
Write out on a piece of paper all of your hatred and rage towards someone. Handwriting versus typed is important. When you’re done, put the page/pages away for 24 hours. The next day, re-read what you’ve written and add more venom if you need. Get all the ugly, stuck emotions out. If you’re satisfied, skip ahead. If you’ve added more, then wait 24 hours again to re-read. Keep this re-read/add/wait cycle going until you’ve said all there is to say, then burn the pages and release the rage and anger. The key is to write until you’ve fully expelled it all. Every crack and crevice of pain coming up in this moment. It doesn’t mean you won’t need to do another round in the future, it means that for now, you’re complete and ready/willing to let it go. 


​3: Physical Release:
 
~ Take a pillow and beat the snot out of your bed/couch while verbally expressing what has you so angry. Release everything pent up in your body. You can go for a run/do strenuous exercise as well, but make sure you also give the anger a voice. The speaking of it is a critical component.

~ Throw a private temper tantrum. Yes, you read that right. We’ve been seeing a lot of public temper tantrums lately, but that’s just a person’s negative ego being in control. To release in a healthy way, means you listen to your, most likely, inner child. Let them say why they’re so mad/triggered. Let them vent by you literally going somewhere private and stomping your feet and silent screaming. Let your inner child have full freedom to vent for a few minutes. Then pull yourself together, come back to being an adult, and handle what’s in front of you from a place of calm empowerment. 
 
I am really good at disappearing into a bathroom if my inner child gets triggered. I do what I told you above, and when I come back to the situation at hand, I speak clearly and with adult wisdom. At some point soon I’ll teach you more in regard to the inner child, but for now, that part of you exists. Give her/him a voice so they don’t control your actions/behavior. (You can journal with them or bring them into a meditation or rage bubble as well to work through childhood issues.)
 
 
4: Body Release:
 
Sometimes that anger is trapped in the body and needs a more physical approach to release it. You can use EFT (or tapping), you can try EMDR, sound healing- anything that you’ll use consistently to work through the places where the rage/anger is stored in your body. 
 
It's smart to hire a practioner who specializes in one of the fields above, especially when the anger is intense. You don’t want to just manage your anger; you want to release the patterns and blocked energy so that you can consciously choose in any moment how to handle the emotions that arise. You want to stay present to your feelings, not become reactive or fall into behaviors from childhood/adolescence.
 
 
The key with all of these is to do them consciously without splatting your rage on everyone else. 
 
If you feel yourself getting worked up, stop and leave the room/conversation. If you can’t leave, breathe and focus on your feet. Anger can shoot you out of body, you have to come back in, in present time.
 
Do not respond by lashing out. Don’t send off that text/email. Write a rough draft of what you really want to say, and then walk away without sending it. Sit with it. BE an adult. Not a reactive, petulant child. 
 
Ask yourself if what you want to say is empowering and needs to be said, or if it’s just the judging, vindictive, cruel part that wishes others harm. Beware the righteous anger that says you have a right to explode your rage at others. That’s pure negative ego and a complete lack of personal responsibility.
 
Just because you’ve been hurt, doesn’t give you the right to hurt others.
 
Know the difference between anger that motivates you to better yourself/the world, and anger that is you emotionally throwing up on another. 
 
Also, you have to be willing to look at the root cause of your anger. Maybe it’s feeling a lack of control, or a need to control, or maybe it’s feeling unsafe. You have to be willing to excavate those places and your childhood wounds to really be able to handle it responsibly.
 
Back to my fury I mentioned in the beginning; I didn’t need to do a huge process around it because I’ve worked with my anger enough that I can move through it quickly. What I did was to take my power back; to disconnect from the fear and rage that gets amped up by the media. I put all of my attention and power into what I do want to see. Into the world I am creating and imagining. I transmuted that anger into positive action, versus sitting in a sense of powerlessness or darkness. 
 
The more you work through your anger, the freer you'll be. The world needs more cooperative calm and less emotional reactivity. In any moment, the choice is yours. Be responsible with your rage to help heal the world.

 

​Anxiety has been surfacing more for me lately and so I decided to have a talk with it. Turns out it’s telling me I’m not doing it “right,” and that there’s not enough time. 
 
Hmmmm... perfection and lack- hello old friends; I know them well. They crop up every so often. 
 
However, perfection doesn’t play out for me in typical ways. I’m pretty messy emotionally; I’m fine with anger, rage, sadness- the full spectrum. I can be real with what I feel. My home can be cluttered in areas; I don’t need it to be perfect. I have no problem showing up places without makeup and being comfortable - YET, if there’s an event where I know I’ll be photographed, my hair has to be just so. I judge myself mercilessly. Same with when I was acting and auditioning: there was a fine line as to when I felt acceptable and when I felt ugly. Yes- strong word because it’s true.
 
It also plays out in subtle ways of not doing enough or as if I need to acquire more and more information to do it “perfectly”- whatever that “it” may be. And because it can be subtle for me, I don’t always catch that that’s what’s going on. 
 
I’ve recently started challenging these core beliefs, not that I haven’t worked on them thoroughly before, yet clearly there’s something going on during this time of intense astrological energies and Covid lockdown, as my friends and many of you, are finding deep, deep issues coming back up to finally be cleared out back to their core.
 
The thing about perfection is that it's such a static energy, it stalls you and completely blocks your creativity. If you’re trying to do it “perfectly,” you may never create at all. You certainly won’t take risks for fear of what will happen if you fall short. You may always feel small and not voice the truth of who you are. It is a huge hindrance to freedom. 
 
For some of you, perfection plays out in being afraid of what others will think. The perfection becomes a terror of embarrassment or humiliation, therefore you need to look and act perfectly to be acceptable. You may even impose those high standards on your loved ones, expecting them to act and behave perfectly as well (this is called control). 
 
Perfection is exhausting, it definitely drains you because you can’t be real. You may not feel safe if you appear less than perfect. 
 
As for not enough, this is a sure-fire way to know your negative ego is involved as it loves to whisper that lie to you. If you always feel that you’re not enough or that there's not enough, again you’ll hide, you won’t pursue your dreams, you’ll defer to others, and if the lack is extra strong in regard to objects, you’ll become stingy because that lack mentality will make you want to hold on to everything (hording toilet paper anyone?). 
 
For me, not enough time is how my negative ego likes to stress me out. So then I get anxious and don’t use the time I do have wisely. Vicious cycle, right? When I can catch it, it’s a totally different story. I use time wisely and definitely have extra of it. 
 
How many of you have held yourselves back thinking you’re not enough to pursue this or attain that? I can pretty much guarantee that even hugely successful people have felt that way. The key is, they didn’t let it stop them. They moved forward despite that feeling.

Ask yourself how perfect you need to be, to be enough.* 

These issues don’t play out constantly, they can be insidious and come up when you least expect them. Which is why awareness is key. The awareness to say, “Not this time!” 
 
Sometimes easy, sometimes not.
 
This is when you need more tools for your spiritual tool belt.
As soon as you realize it, you can change it. Some things that help are:

• Meditation and Grounding yourself: It’ll get you present and out of the spin.

• EFT or Tapping: There’s a great, “You are Enough” tapping in The Tapping Solution’s free app. Or you can YouTube options for being enough and for perfection.

• Actively re-write the script that you’ve believed. Tell a new story about yourself; that you can be less than perfect and still be good enough! 

• Maybe you need to talk to your inner child or inner adolescent. Remind them you’re the adult and are creating a new way of being. Also listen to what they have to say and let them vent. 

• Journal everything that comes up so you can release it.

• Process it out with a friend/therapist.

• Breathe and be in present time with your feelings/emotions. You cannot solve a problem when you are in resistance to it. Talk to your emotions/feelings, see what else is under there, and then climb the emotional ladder.

• Confront your negative ego. (see previous blog)

• Affirm daily: “I Am Enough! I am smart enough, talented enough and good enough to have what I desire.” And: “I can be less than perfect. It’s safe for me to make mistakes. I can be real.”

  
 
Bottom line- take your power back from these faulty ideas of perfection and not being good enough. You in PRESENT time have the power. Not the past, not the future. You. Here. Now. 
 
Which reminds me of a great and simple technique my dear friend Holly Higgins uses whenever she can tell she’s out of present time and stuck in an issue:
​
 You ask yourself, “Where am I?”
 And you answer, “Here.”
 Then you ask yourself, “What time is it?”
 And you answer, “Now.”
 
Seemingly simple but boy does it work.
 
I know I’m not the only one who’s had perfection and enoughness surface lately, so instead of fighting them and trying to ignore them, talk to them, give them voice, and then turn them over to your Higher Self to be healed and released. And if all else fails, then simply be with what is; that you’re feeling massive perfection and not good enough. 
 
It’s time to show up powerfully and with your voice and your uniqueness. And if I didn’t write perfectly enough about perfection, that’s OK, I’m human ;)
 
 
 
 
 * Nick Ortner posed this question in a guided tapping meditation.

Music by J. Jessup

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