One of the most powerful things I’ve ever trained myself to do in any given situation, is to respond, rather than react.
 
Reacting is a knee-jerk emotional response, whereas responding can be a grounded, present time choice.
 
When we react, we allow our emotions to dictate our communications. These emotions may have stemmed from past traumas or wounds. Reactivity lacks clarity because again, it’s based on a strong emotion. The thing or person “upsetting” us holds the cards. When another can influence our moods and behavior that greatly, we’ve given away our power to it/them. Plus, we leave present time, because we may be reacting from child or adolescent pain, or the way we saw the adults around us speaking when we were young.
 
To be empowered, one cannot react from their wounds.
 
Whereas when we respond, we can have a much more non-emotional, thoughtful thing to say. We can choose our words. We can choose to respond or not. We aren’t beholden to the person or thing in front of us; we retain our present time power.
 
Most importantly, responding is taking responsibility for our communications and impact.
 
Feel it in your body right now. If someone says something triggering and every part of you wants to lash out back at them, can you feel how that takes you out of yourself and engages you in a battle? Whereas if they say something upsetting and you take a moment to center back into yourself and breathe, to either respond or choose to walk away and respond later, how much more empowering that is? You own your power in that situation rather than giving it up to another by your emotional reaction.
 
Is this easy? Not necessarily! But it is doable. And it’s something that we need to train ourselves in. Meaning, we train ourselves to stop and breathe before sending that email, shooting off that text, lashing out at something someone said to us. When we are calm, we train ourselves to breathe first before any and all communications- good or bad. The more we train ourselves to breathe and ground before responding, the more likely we will be to respond from an empowered place, rather than react from any emotional one. This is also how we keep your inner child and adolescent from interfering in our present time reality.
 
I’m not saying you ignore your emotions. You vent them in a responsible way- meaning you write out what you really want to say on paper, in a blank email, or a blank note on your phone, to release all the emotions being stirred up. You say everything mean thing you’re thinking. And then you delete that email or note, or you shred that piece of paper. But you do NOT send it.
 
You get up and walk away. The longer you can sit with it, the better. Breathe. Go for a walk or at least step outside for a moment. Clear your head. Ground. Feel your feet on the floor. Center your awareness into yourself in present time. You take as much time as you need to respond, and only do so when you can write from a grounded, adult perspective.
 
If you’re in front of someone and you’re triggered, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. I totally do this. I silent scream or throw a silent temper tantrum to release the energy out of my body. Then I ground, center, and come out of the bathroom, able to respond as an adult, in present time.
 
Again, this is the most empowered form of communication because it’s based on us being accountable for our response and our emotions, and creating calm, rather than amplifying any anger or hurt.
 
Try it, and notice how by your shift, all communications around you are elevated and become more respectful. It starts with you.
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Link to the YouTube I created for you on this subject.
 

On the Abraham Hicks Emotional Guidance Scale, appreciation has the highest emotional frequency, along with love and joy. It’s an uplifting energy that’s incredibly expansive; meaning the more you appreciate, the more there is to appreciate.
 
While appreciation and gratitude can go hand in hand, they’re different. According to Google, gratitude “is a feeling of thankfulness,” whereas appreciation “is the recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something.”
 
I wrote about appreciation in a 2019 blog with a micro-meditation. I recently listened to an interview with Jack Canfield who reminded me of its power.
 
So today, I have for you a new meditation, similar to the 2019 version, but this one is designed to raise your resonance and vibration even higher than the previous one.
 
Sarah Kristenson says, “Appreciation gives others specific recognition for their part in your happiness or success. If you want to improve a relationship with anyone, show them appreciation.”
 
And from my perspective, that includes yourself and your body. Thus, I added appreciation for specific areas of the body in the meditation, something I started doing for myself that has had wonderfully positive effects.
 
I highly encourage you to listen to this before doing any manifestation techniques as it will elevate that which you’re looking to create.
 
And a huge shout of appreciation to my dear friend Sheva Carr, the architect and Director of HeartMath’s HeartMastery Program for teaching me the basis of this technique.
 
Enjoy!

Appreciation Meditation Link

Well over a decade ago after I had gone through a very painful miscarriage, my girlfriend Heather asked me a question that was so beautiful in its compassion, it left me speechless.

She said to me, “How can I best support you right now?”
 
At the time, even though I thought I didn’t know what I needed, after a moment my answer was, “space and quiet.” 
 
The profound power of that question has stuck with me. 
 
We don’t need to fix it or make it better for others. We need to meet them where they’re at, not where we want them to be. Sitting in compassionate understanding is the best gift we can give to someone we love who is in emotional pain and going through a rough time. By allowing another the space to process their emotions in their timing, we’re honoring them.
 
So ask, “How can I best support you right now?” And depending on the circumstances, you can add, “Do you need me to just listen as you vent? Or do you need a cheerleader, a hug, or something else?” 

Then be willing to act on what they ask, and only what they ask, regardless of whether you think they need more.
 
That is highest expression of holding space for others. Be that love for another.

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