As the sun is now in the sign of Sagittarius (woo-hoo, it's my birthday Friday!!!) - and us Sags are all about abundance and reaching for the stars, as well as it being Thanksgiving tomorrow here in the States, I thought this would be a perfect week to remind you of the power of gratitude.
The beautiful thing about gratitude, is that it increases the things in your life that you feel grateful for. So the more you focus on that feeling, the greater and more expansive your life becomes. It elevates and lifts your energy and your mood. It’s especially important if you’re feeling down; you cannot be in gratitude and fear or self-pity simultaneously.
Right now, think about the people in your life that you’re most grateful for. The ones you value. Allow your heart to be involved in this list so it’s not just a mental counting exercise. When you think of each person, think about them in a way that makes you smile.
Now beyond the loved ones in your life, take a moment to be grateful for the things in your life. Maybe the fact that you have running water and electricity. That you have food in your fridge. Do you have a car? Or maybe you use a ride share. Either are things to be grateful for. What about where you live? Or maybe a book or movie that touched you and opened you up. The list is endless.
Let this be an exercise in appreciation for all you’re grateful for.
Because when you truly look, there are a mountain of blessings waiting to be acknowledged, showing you the abundant life you truly do have.
And before I close, I want to say an enormous THANK YOU to all of you!! I am absolutely grateful for your taking the time to read what I write, for the incredible feedback you share with me, and for your continued support. I value and appreciate you tremendously!
I want to give a huge shout out to all of my fellow Sags and to the myriad of you who share my b-day week; there is one of you every day this week as well as my stepdaughter. I love birthdays, in case it wasn't obvious enought!
So one of my birthday wishes for everyone who reads this, is that this next year bring you a miracle, beyond what you could consciously imagine!! xoxo
This has been a phenomenally tough year for most people; to put it mildly.
The state of the world, the state of the U.S., Covid, our election, the changing weather patterns, the economy – there has been incredible uncertainty. It has many of you feeling horribly unsettled and ungrounded. We’re being pushed and pulled to extreme levels.
On a bigger picture, the old ways of doing things are having to die to make room for the new. What I mean by that is as humans, we’re literally creating a New World. Think of the Mayan calendar: it’s ending didn’t mean the literal world would explode, it meant the end of the world as we knew it. We’re entering unchartered territory. There are no maps, no guideposts. We’re creating it consciously.
I’ve spoken about it before but for those who are new, we’re entering a new age, the Age of Aquarius. With that comes an elevation in consciousness and new levels of freedom, cooperation, technology, and social justice.
The patriarchy, and with it chauvinism, cannot exist in the New World. The feminine is equal to the masculine and the Divine feminine is beginning to return. That’s a threat to many who desire to continue the chauvinistic paradigm of having power over another or the men who choose to dominate women, see them as inferior, and tell us what to do with our own bodies. There are women who are at the effect of chauvinism as well; think of women who compete with other women, try to tear them down, emasculate men, or deny their own female energy. Chauvinism has negatively impacted men by teaching them to deny their feelings and to disconnect from any softness as it's considered weak. This cuts men off from the power of their own feminine energy.
Feminine energy is extraordinarily powerful and as that power rises, it terrifies those in opposition to it, thus their loud need to control it even more deeply.
Many of the young souls are not able to handle the shifts in rising energy right now. We’re seeing that in their blatant gripping of all patriarchal ideas and their desire for destruction towards anyone who disagrees with them.
In your personal realities, all the upheaval and uncertainties can be scary and disconcerting. Many of you are feeling tremendous fatigue. Not just physically, but emotionally; the, “when will it end?!” feelings. With more potential lockdowns coming, fear around the future is ramping up again.
A wonderful friend sent me an article about compassion fatigue. Where some people are so overwhelmed with their own stuff, that it’s hard to have compassion for others. If you’re feeling that way, that’s okay. It simply means you need to be extra compassionate with yourself first.
While on a big picture level life can feel like too much, I remind you that you have the power to shift your personal reality. I've written extensively in previous blogs of how to do so. And on the days that you just can’t deal with anything, disconnect, and do something nice for yourself. Don’t engage with people who upset you, and disengage from the amped up outrage in the world.
As dark as it seems, the light always wins. Hold the vision/space for the light, even when you can’t see/find it. It’s not easy sometimes. We have to get through the mud and the muck and the battles that we’ve been fighting for over 2000 years during the Piscean Age.
I understand the frustration: we want to step off the battlefield. Old souls came in to help usher in the New World, and yet these times echo the end days of Atlantis. I’ve seen in many of your spaces where that’s very distressing and fearful; it’s understandable that you’re fatigued by it all.
The way to help heal this collectively, and thereby consciously adding your light to the creation of the New World, is to step off the battlefield in your personal reality. What are you still fighting? What battles are you continually engaged in that it’s time to walk away from? That could be literal such as an addiction or a battle with someone, or things such as a battle with always needing to control, or with continually falling into self-pity and a victim mentality. Maybe your battle is always sacrificing yourself for others or indulging your own rage. Maybe you battle being physical and punish/disassociate from your body. Or maybe you battle with love itself and push it away at all costs.
By the way, for those whose role it is to bring the light to injustices, there’s a difference between being a champion against injustice, and needing to battle injustice. Sit with that and feel the difference.
Once again, I extend the light of hope. I have ultimate faith that we will get through these dark times and rise beautifully. I’m holding and sharing that hope with everyone who reads these words.
In the meantime, honor your immediate disappointment if you can’t be with family over Thanksgiving, honor yourself if you feel lonely or angry or fed up or frustrated. Honor where you’re at. I’m referencing some other blogs below that will help you to move through those emotions when you’re ready.
And this week, step off your personal battlefield and focus on the self-care that you most need. You matter!
The Ladder of Emotions
Ways to Nurture Yourself as We Co-Create the New World
A Map for Calm in the Face of Chaos
Guided Meditation to Transcend Loneliness
I think sometimes in my blogs I come across as always being very calm and levelheaded. To bust open that curtain, that is not the truth at all. While I can be calm and levelheaded, I’m also quite fiery. I can have a short fuse sometimes in regard to anger. I try to be as responsible as I can with my anger, which means not throwing it harmfully at others.
I bring this up now because last week, not only was I furious at the injustice of politicians who try to skirt democracy, but also because fear has been, and continues to be, super high in the world, and especially in the United States. And what do most people do when they're afraid? They get angry.
Yes, I teach you how to create from an empowered place, and simultaneously, we’re human so emotions are going to be hot sometimes. You cannot deny them, you have to own them and work through them.
Since anger’s been coming up a lot lately in sessions, and many of you have asked, here are the tools I use to work through/release it:
First, anger itself isn’t bad. You have to get over that notion. It’s how you express it that can be healthy, or incinerating and detrimental.
Maybe you grew up in a household where one parent, or both, were always angry and fighting. Maybe because of that, you either decided to never be angry (which can lead to depression or passive aggressive behavior), or you go full force with yours. If you’re a woman, you may have been taught that it wasn’t ladylike to be angry or that good girls aren’t angry. Any of these scenarios make anger bad and wrong and can lead to health issues if suppressed, or relationship issues if overly expressed in harmful ways.
Before I give techniques, be wise. If your anger is out of control and harmful to yourself or others, get professional help. I’m speaking in this blog to those who want to learn how to responsibly release anger, not those who fear they could do something violent.
That being said, here are some techniques. You may like different ones at different times; find what works best for you. And this is by far not a complete list. I don’t purport to be an expert, just someone who has worked through tons of her own anger and rage.
1: Go into a Rage Bubble.
Personally, this is my favorite technique and one that works brilliantly for me. When I’m angry, I go into rage bubble. Through that technique, I can say and release what I need, in a safe way for all.
I have that technique on my resource page, but here it is as well.
2: Writing It Out:
Writing is another favorite. Whether venting in a journal or writing a hate letter.
~ If you journal it, you can burn the papers after if it’ll give you satisfaction, but it’s not necessary. Sometimes I’ve waited until my journal is full to shred or destroy the energy contained within.
You need to be real and honest with yourself when writing. If you find yourself editing what you want to say, stop. Show yourself the truth. No one else will ever see what you’ve written. This technique is not for re-reading or showing yourself in a good light; it is fully for release.
~ As for the hate letter, this is based on a Lazaris technique:
Write out on a piece of paper all of your hatred and rage towards someone. Handwriting versus typed is important. When you’re done, put the page/pages away for 24 hours. The next day, re-read what you’ve written and add more venom if you need. Get all the ugly, stuck emotions out. If you’re satisfied, skip ahead. If you’ve added more, then wait 24 hours again to re-read. Keep this re-read/add/wait cycle going until you’ve said all there is to say, then burn the pages and release the rage and anger. The key is to write until you’ve fully expelled it all. Every crack and crevice of pain coming up in this moment. It doesn’t mean you won’t need to do another round in the future, it means that for now, you’re complete and ready/willing to let it go.
3: Physical Release:
~ Take a pillow and beat the snot out of your bed/couch while verbally expressing what has you so angry. Release everything pent up in your body. You can go for a run/do strenuous exercise as well, but make sure you also give the anger a voice. The speaking of it is a critical component.
~ Throw a private temper tantrum. Yes, you read that right. We’ve been seeing a lot of public temper tantrums lately, but that’s just a person’s negative ego being in control. To release in a healthy way, means you listen to your, most likely, inner child. Let them say why they’re so mad/triggered. Let them vent by you literally going somewhere private and stomping your feet and silent screaming. Let your inner child have full freedom to vent for a few minutes. Then pull yourself together, come back to being an adult, and handle what’s in front of you from a place of calm empowerment.
I am really good at disappearing into a bathroom if my inner child gets triggered. I do what I told you above, and when I come back to the situation at hand, I speak clearly and with adult wisdom. At some point soon I’ll teach you more in regard to the inner child, but for now, that part of you exists. Give her/him a voice so they don’t control your actions/behavior. (You can journal with them or bring them into a meditation or rage bubble as well to work through childhood issues.)
4: Body Release:
Sometimes that anger is trapped in the body and needs a more physical approach to release it. You can use EFT (or tapping), you can try EMDR, sound healing- anything that you’ll use consistently to work through the places where the rage/anger is stored in your body.
It's smart to hire a practioner who specializes in one of the fields above, especially when the anger is intense. You don’t want to just manage your anger; you want to release the patterns and blocked energy so that you can consciously choose in any moment how to handle the emotions that arise. You want to stay present to your feelings, not become reactive or fall into behaviors from childhood/adolescence.
The key with all of these is to do them consciously without splatting your rage on everyone else.
If you feel yourself getting worked up, stop and leave the room/conversation. If you can’t leave, breathe and focus on your feet. Anger can shoot you out of body, you have to come back in, in present time.
Do not respond by lashing out. Don’t send off that text/email. Write a rough draft of what you really want to say, and then walk away without sending it. Sit with it. BE an adult. Not a reactive, petulant child.
Ask yourself if what you want to say is empowering and needs to be said, or if it’s just the judging, vindictive, cruel part that wishes others harm. Beware the righteous anger that says you have a right to explode your rage at others. That’s pure negative ego and a complete lack of personal responsibility.
Just because you’ve been hurt, doesn’t give you the right to hurt others.
Know the difference between anger that motivates you to better yourself/the world, and anger that is you emotionally throwing up on another.
Also, you have to be willing to look at the root cause of your anger. Maybe it’s feeling a lack of control, or a need to control, or maybe it’s feeling unsafe. You have to be willing to excavate those places and your childhood wounds to really be able to handle it responsibly.
Back to my fury I mentioned in the beginning; I didn’t need to do a huge process around it because I’ve worked with my anger enough that I can move through it quickly. What I did was to take my power back; to disconnect from the fear and rage that gets amped up by the media. I put all of my attention and power into what I do want to see. Into the world I am creating and imagining. I transmuted that anger into positive action, versus sitting in a sense of powerlessness or darkness.
The more you work through your anger, the freer you'll be. The world needs more cooperative calm and less emotional reactivity. In any moment, the choice is yours. Be responsible with your rage to help heal the world.
There’s a collective inhale going on right now, with no exhale. Waiting to see who’s going to be the next President. Waiting to see if fears of violence etc. manifest. Waiting… waiting…
Try to deep breathe, as difficult as that may be.
Don’t give your power to your fear, or to any media induced fear.
Remember, what do you want to see?
Beyond the form of who gets elected, what’s below that? Maybe it’s peace. Maybe it’s harmony.
Personally, I want to see healing in this country. Healing the lack of civility, healing the lack of compassion, healing the lack of dignity and the divisiveness. I would like to see dialogue with those in opposition, versus dogma. Remember when you could have a respectful discussion with those who think differently and maybe learn something? I do.
I choose to be part of the solution and to hold the light of what’s possible. It’s not “airy fairy,” it’s vision. And I have it in spades.
Not always because, human here, but right now, it’s strong and unwavering.
The world is changing. The Age of Aquarius is here to teach us cooperation and co-creation. It’s not always easy but your soul signed up for this. To be witness to a rise in consciousness.
So back to today: breathe. Focus on your light. Focus on what you want to see in the world, and put your power there. Choose to be part of the solution.
Me, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!