For many of us, struggle has become so normal that we don’t even recognize it. We struggle to find love, find a career we love, be creative, move past old pain, heal our wounds, be healthy, we struggle to find joy, to feel fulfilled, to be our best selves.
We’re so embroiled in struggle, that we’ve begun to create our reality from a reactionary place, rather than a purely creative one; reacting to the hardships and difficulties, rather than creating what we want from a place of joy and freedom. We don’t trust that it can be easy. We think we have to suffer and be in circumstances that make us miserable because stepping out of them feels like too much of a struggle. But we’re already struggling within those painful circumstances! Struggle has become such a way of life that we don’t realize it anymore, it just is.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Nor does it have to be a struggle to release struggle. This week, simply notice anywhere that you struggle in your reality and instead, play with the idea that the Universe is actually here to help you. Release resistance and instead, allow in, “I can let this be easy.”
At its core, the Universe is made of love. So any lies you’ve been telling yourself that somehow you are separate from that love or you don’t deserve that love, are just that, lies. Your soul was made from love, and it’s only your stubborn opposition to that truth that keeps you stuck in struggle.
What if you allow that all the times that you felt that the Universe let you down and wasn’t there for you, were really your own need to learn lessons and grow on a soul level and out of love, and free will, the Universe supported you in those decisions to go dark, and separate from that very love.
Now it’s time to stop pretending that you are anything other than love. Own the truth that you were made from love, you are part of love, and the Universe actually does want to help you.
Your negative ego will balk at this, because to change this within you, means that you have immense power at your disposal. And yes, we’ve all lived some brutal past lives and so there is ingrained fear in fully opening to the depth and truth of Universal love again. But we’re at a crossroads of evolution, and the old ways no longer apply. Can you find the courage within yourself to hold the possibility that you truly are love incarnate? That through you the Universe gets to experience joy, fun, freedom etc. so why would it not want you to have those things?
Even if you don’t fully believe it yet, just allow those seeds to germinate in your mind.
Forgive yourself for all the struggle and all of the misguided perceptions of struggle, and simply hold a new belief that you allow it to be easy. That you are a being of love, you are an aspect of God/Goddess/All That Is/Source/Universe and as that aspect, you are now allowing more elegance and ease into your life.
Play with this concept. Write it on post it notes and put them around the house. Don’t read this blog and then let it go, only to be forgotten. Follow the brilliant advice of AA and simply one day at a time, keep owning this new truth about yourself. Those little steps every day, will lead to incredible results over time.
Forgive yourself for the struggle, and without struggling, simply turn your attention to the ease.
This has come up a lot lately so I want to remind you all: sometimes it takes time to see the changes in your reality that you’ve been working to create.
After you’ve made big changes, something may appear to trigger old wounds. Negative ego kickback? Possibly. Or, your subconscious is so used to showing you a reality reflective of your wound, that it hasn’t quite gotten the memo yet.
There are mounds of corroborating evidence for the old belief/pattern/way of being, and not much yet to support the new.
Here’s an example: let’s say you’ve worked to overcome a belief that you have to do it all yourself and that you can’t rely on others. You’ve instilled a belief; “It’s safe for me to be. I now elegantly receive all the help and support I need.”
You’ve done the work to clear the old and implement the new. You’re excited for your new reality. You really feel ready to receive support. And then, you ask for help, and … crickets… no one steps up.
Maybe you go right to anger: “See, I knew I’d have to do it all. No one is there for me!” Ok- that’s not helping and all it does is affirm the old that you so diligently worked to change.
Instead, stop, breathe, and say gently or with humor (humor always defuses the intense emotion), “Hey subconscious, I know my whole life I’ve had this pattern/belief but we’re changing that. Remember I instilled a new program. What I’m choosing to see is a reality of X (in the example above, it would be that of being supported). Show me a reality in which that manifests.”
It’s vital to catch it; you cannot allow the old emotions to triumph. That will simply feed your negative ego and hook you back into the past. Thus, doing it with humor if needed.
By saying, “Show me a reality in which…,” you’re affirming the new and where you want to head. It pulls you into the future and out of past traumas.
You’re also bringing in the power of choice, “I choose to see a reality in which…” Conscious choice always beats subconscious programming.
Think of it like this: it’s as if your subconscious was always a garbage collector and suddenly you want it to be an impressionist painter. Do-able? Absolutely. But again, sometimes it takes time and repeated focus on what you do want, versus what you don’t.
So the next time an old wound surfaces, stop, breathe, and talk to your subconscious. Empower yourself in your reality and in the future you’re creating.
A reminder for this week:
If you don’t release the past, it can keep controlling you. You have the power to let it go. You are the one holding the people from your life in prison.
Maybe you want to punish them for hurting you, maybe you want them to suffer for what they did. However, at a certain point, you are the one who’s freedom is in jeopardy, not theirs. You are the one still suffering, not them. Maybe they did horrific things, but by keeping that memory alive, you are now the one doing those horrible things to yourself.
It’s not always easy, but if you can find a way to switch focus on the future and what you can control (your thoughts, feelings, reactions), you can write a new story.
It is absolutely necessary first to consciously process and move through the pain, hurt, grief, rage etc. that you feel. Once you have, then you have a choice: forgive and be free, or continue to punish, suffer, and hold everyone prisoner, including yourself.
I absolutely understand that this is easier said than done, and simultaneously, it is absolutely doable. Regardless of any faulty beliefs you have, you do have the power to change your reality. You are powerful, not powerless. Every thought you think, every emotion that you process through- all of it is a path to your empowerment.
If you are too entrenched in fear and are saying to me, “I just can’t do it,” then no shame in that; know I’m holding your hand energetically and supporting you. I completely believe in you, even if you can’t believe in yourself right now.
As much as you can, take those keys, open up those jail cells, and let the past go. Do your forgiveness work, for you. Not for them, for you. Give yourself the gift of freedom today and say goodbye to the pain of the past.
A beautiful future awaits.
You all know that I talk openly about dealing with anger and rage. I certainly don’t shy away from those emotions- lol! You also know that I like to give you tools for dealing/healing when you hit up against these, or other darker emotions. So here’s my story:
Last week, I got hit with intense rage, and I really didn’t know the cause. All I knew was that it was so heavy and uncomfortable that it was giving me a headache I felt it so strongly.
First and foremost, I acknowledged it and didn’t shove it down. I made time to deal with it. This is key for those of you who avoid or numb through food, alcohol, social media, etc. You have to make time to hear it out and deal with it. Shoving it down only causes it to come out in more harmful ways.
So, I made the time. I silent screamed because it was so overwhelming. And by that, I mean screaming but with no sound- didn’t want to scare the neighbors. Then I went into a rage bubble (see technique on resource page) and ranted and got it out as much as was possible. Usually that does the trick but this time it still wasn’t budging and I really didn’t know what it was related to.
So I began to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), also known as tapping. I tapped on all the areas, not following any “rules” or specific things to say, simply saying, “all this rage” over and over while touching each point. I also added in words about questioning what it was about. I stayed in the moment and spoke whatever came to me. At some point, I started to realize where it was coming from and what triggered me. It was an old memory that somehow surfaced. So I continued tapping, talking about the memory, and releasing the buried angers.
While I was doing this, I felt the loneliness, abandonment and pain that was below the rage so I began talking about those while tapping on each point. I did this until I felt it felt right to stop.
Then I felt like writing. So I wrote it all, angrily, all my pain and hurt etc. It felt cathartic. And I blamed- fully. When done, I took the papers outside and burned them. I wanted that released.
When I came inside, I did a Lazaris technique that I remembered from years ago, called “The Art of Forgetting.” I will give you an abbreviated version, but please reach out if you want me to explain it more fully:
I visualized an image of that memory. I could see myself in the memory as if looking at a picture. Then I began siphoning all the color and energy out of it. Lazaris says to pull out the “life and the light” from the image. Eventually I saw the picture becoming black and white as I pulled back my power, and my energy, until it was flat and devoid of life. Once it was drained, I took the raw energy out and gave it to my Higher Self (again, email me if you have questions. These last steps are more detailed than I am describing). Beyond my seeing, I allowed my Higher Self to transmute and transform it. Once it was healed, they returned that raw energy back to me so that I could send it into somewhere I know, or into something beyond what I could imagine. I chose the latter.
The intensity of rage and pain etc. became an intensity of love and light.
After that all completed, it felt right to tap again and so I did so, this time asking to “receive the healing.” I asked for that over and over; to receive the forgiveness and healing that would set me free. I also stated that “I allow and receive” the healing, while tapping each point. I pictured myself being filled with beautiful golden light streaming into my space, and into everywhere my bodies- emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical- had been affected.
At the end, I was in incredible peace and no longer carrying any conscious or subconscious rage. I set the person free from that memory as well.
So why do I detail this? As I said, to empower you. To teach you that sometimes it takes trying many different things to find what you most need to heal. To remind you that even if you don’t know why you’re upset, your subconscious does so sometimes you need to go through the process to discover the reason. To see that when you get triggered, it doesn’t have to control you or knock you out of your body.
The more you take your power back and clear the dark, the more space there is for joy, laughter, fun, and love.
So the next time some emotion slams you, talk to it. See what you need. Give it time and attention so you can go through it to gather its lessons. Not only will you give yourself greater freedom, you will be healing the world by clearing out more of the dark. It starts with you.
Me, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!