I walked away from my commercial agent 2 weeks ago after 22 years together. I had been doing commercials for six years prior to that with an agent in a different city. Basically, this was definitely closing a big door and letting go of a previously big dream. And one I was very ready for.
This plan of action had been in my mind for well over three years now, but sometimes things take time. I move slowly; I usually don’t make big decisions quickly, although there have always been exceptions. But walking away from things- that takes me time.
I write this today to not only share that perspective, but to help those of you who beat yourself up, feeling that you’re not doing something quickly enough. Recognize that everything has its right timing, everything moves in its proper cadence. I was really ready to walk away earlier this year, or so I thought, but clearly I wasn’t because I didn’t. I don’t beat myself up, and neither should you when you seem to be stalling; maybe there’s more for you to learn. You’ll know when it’s time; you’ll fell it in your gut.
I had to ask myself: who’s dream was I trying to fulfill?
In the last 8+ years, I’ve been annoyed when I’ve gotten an audition versus being excited. I realized the dream of acting was from all inner parts of me: my inner child, inner adolescent, and inner young adult, but it wasn’t my adult dream. As my adult self, it was no longer fun for me.
Even though it was no longer my dream, I still had to do a ritual in meditation around letting it go. And I needed to speak to the parts of me invested in the old dream and let them vent their upset. They’re not in charge of my reality; adult me is.
For those of you familiar with the various aspects of self, go in as I’ve taught you and have conversations with the parts of self you’ve worked with. For those of you who haven't done inner child etc. work, it’s a lot to teach in blog form so if it’s of interest, reach out and we’ll work it together.
Regardless, here’s a ritual to help you release a dream you’re ready to let go of…
Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a beautiful place in nature that feels incredibly safe. Notice your surroundings and take in how peaceful it feels. As you look around, out in front of you you see an open door; the door might be ornate, or simple. On the other side of the door, you may see a void, or you may see pure energy as swirls of light. Stand in front of that door and release everything tied to the dream you’re ready to let go of; all the old expectations, feelings, hopes, and imaginings around that dream. Flow them out of you as colors, feelings, sounds, shapes, symbols, or simply energy. Release everything until you feel complete.
Then speak your releasing in the form of, “I release this dream, and everything connected to it. I am now free to move forward.”
Thank that dream for serving its purpose, because it was important at one point, and then close (or slam) the door. Imagine a magic eraser by your feet and erase the door so it no longer exists. This is a firm message to your subconscious that you are fully done.
Now imagine a waterfall of pure 24 Carat gold above your head and fill yourself to overflowing with golden sparkles of new dreams, hopes, and wishes; with what you know, and with the unlimited possibilities of what you don’t.
When you’re filled up, open your eyes and move forward with enthusiasm for all that’s coming.
Remember, as I kept hearing, "when one door closes, another opens." Trust that a new door will open in its perfect timing.
May this bring you beautiful release and closure, and open a phenomenal new door for you!
Over a month ago, I was on the receiving end of a brief, but nasty, verbal psychic attack. It took me a bit to get over the shock, yet once I did, beyond clearing the energy, I processed and released all of the various emotions around it, forgive myself for why ever it was in my reality, and then let it go.
Or so I was hoping.
It came back around a few weeks later when a friend had a similar experience with the same person and wanted to talk about it. Instantly, my attention went right back to the situation and people involved; I started over-thinking and focusing on it. But all that did was feed it; feed the negativity, feed the upset.
I decided to not speak of the incident again, not from an escapist viewpoint, but from the viewpoint of, "I choose to focus elsewhere, on things that are positive." I was also reminded of the saying that “energy flows where attention goes.”
As I was pondering this, I needed to water my outdoor plants. I thought about attention being like gardening; if you stop feeding the plant water/attention, it dies. I imagined the issue becoming dehydrated of all lifeforce without my attention or energy, and then literally just disappearing.
Sometimes, simply the act of no longer feeding an issue energetically, causes it to cease to exist. And sometimes, a dead plant needs to be ripped out. Once you’ve processed everything you need and the issue is truly dried up and dead, imagine pulling out the experience/memory and watch it dissolve. Then replace it with a positive image of what you'd like to see instead.
This week, become aware of what you’re feeding with your attention; is it something you desire to grow into a magnificent giant oak, or is it something that’s been slowly poisoning you, becoming life sucking vines swirling around your space?
You’re in charge of what you put your attention on, so if you’ve got a giant oak of something that you don’t want anymore, chop it down. Stop feeding it. Rip off those poisonous vines. No one is going to do it for you, you need to do it for yourself.
With spring coming, be ruthless in your spring cleaning, but do it internally. It can be helpful to put post-it notes around your house with what you do choose to focus on because if you keep telling yourself not to focus on something, that’s all you’ll see. You need to fill your mind with something you choose to see instead.
See radiant health, see energy and vitality, see money pouring in, see that brilliant new job, see a healed relationship, see incredible love. Create a new garden, one that can nourish you for years on end!
Resistance: we all have it at times. Sometimes it’s subtle, gently pushing you away from that which you desire to accomplish. Like when you’re finally starting that creative project or exercise routine and a distraction comes up that pulls your focus elsewhere; you tell yourself you’ll start tomorrow. Or the to-do list that takes precedence over your down time or meditative time. It’s all the little (which really aren’t little) ways that you’re stopped from achieving your goals.
Sometimes resistance is overt and temper tantrum throwing, blocking you from your good, even when you want it. Actively looking for distractions to avoid doing what you need, not practicing your dance/words/instrument etc. before an event, feeling rebellious as if others can’t tell you what to do, even if you hired them or they have great ideas.
You most certainly know your negative ego is involved anytime you feel resistance. It’s trying to prevent any breakthroughs, creative expression, or your ability to have greater freedom in your life.
Being in resistance is like slogging through the mud to get where you’re going; the path becomes filled with struggle and blockages.
Resistance comes when the outcome of whatever you’re about to do will bring you greater love, a greater sense of accomplishment, and more empowerment. That’s when it’s loudest.
Remember that: resistance is strongest before a breakthrough. So keep going, don’t give in to it.
You need to create an inner coach, one who’s words are stronger than those of your negative ego. One who will gently keep you on track, having you silence your phone, tell others you’re not to be disturbed, while also helping you to stay present and in your body to accomplish your desires. A coach who encourages you to keep going, even when it’s hard. Who tells you supportive words and lifts you up.
It’s up to you to create that coach. To let its voice be stronger than the resistance, stronger than any fears. A coach who lovingly helps you succeed. Start imaging that coach, see her/him as a supportive cheerleader, reminding you of your worth and value. Feed that coach power by connecting to it every day. The more power it has, the less your negative ego will control you.
Even with that coach, sometimes you might need a visual to show your subconscious your desire to release resistance. Something to help all parts of you get the message.
Here’s a visualization that I use, based on a Lazaris technique. It works wonderfully when resistance is loud:
Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a beautiful and serene place in nature with a river in front of you. The river is flowing gently. Walk into the river and feel its warmth. Move easily towards the middle, the water getting deeper and deeper until it’s neck high. Stand there and let the river wash through you, moving through your skin and body, clearing out any resistance, anything that’s not yours. As you stand there, affirm, “I am in the flow of life, and I release all resistance to that flow and to my good.”
Sometimes if I have too many thoughts swirling around my head, I’ll imagine the ground goes slightly deeper and I’ll step down until my head is submerged. I always tell myself I can easily breathe while under this magical water.
When your resistance is strong, you may want to imagine yourself staying in the river and letting the water flow through you. You can keep that image going as you move about your day. Other times if you feel complete after your cleanse, don’t go back the way you came, exit the opposite side of the river. You want to show your subconscious that you’re walking into a new reality, one in which you're accepting the flow of life.
Create your coach, use the visualization, and may both help you release resistance easily and elegantly. Greater joy awaits.
As it’s a magical day, 2-2-22, and yesterday was the start of Chinese New Year, let’s take a moment to dream and send those dreams out into the world.
3 dreams: something to manifest for yourself, something for someone you love, and something for the world.
If you could wave a magic wand and it would miraculously happen, what would you desire?
Before you begin, put yourself in a state of expansion, of happiness. Let this be fun, not serious and heavy. Think of something that makes you smile and bring that uplifted energy into your creations.
Think of your dreams and put them in 3 separate bubbles. See/imagine them floating in front of you. The bubbles can be iridescent, or maybe they each have a specific color. If you know the details of what each creation looks like, add those. If you don’t, then add the qualities you desire from each dream- i.e.- greater freedom, radiant health, joyful accomplishment, peace, etc.
For example, let’s say you know you want radiant health, but you don’t know the specifics beyond greater vitality and energy. Into your bubble, put the image of yourself doing something physical, while having greater energy and vitality. If you can’t imagine that, then just put the energies in. Don’t worry about “how” to do that, just imagine that those energies infuse your bubble. Or see them as a color and fill the bubble with that color.
Now let’s say you know the specifics of a dream; it’s very detailed. Great, flow all those specifics into your bubble.
Make sure you also see the desired outcome and the joy and happiness at receiving it. When it comes to your dreams for another or for the world, you can see the one you love sharing great news with you, and maybe for the world, you see a news headline saying that what you wanted has come to pass.
When you’ve added all the above, imagine golden sparkles of celebration flowing into each bubble.
Then say, “These dreams or better, now manifest for me, for X, and for the world, in the highest and best way, for each of our individual highest and best good, with harm to none.”
Now release those bubbles and watch/imagine them floating up and into the ethers, landing right into a stream of pure Source energy, where they’ll flow to the perfect place in space/time to pop open and rain miracles down for you, for the other, and for the world.
This is the perfect time for you to be the visionary and help incredible new dreams to manifest. A magnificent future awaits.
As we begin this new year, I want to explain to you a visual and process that came to me when talking to a client about dreams, using my personal garden as a reference.
Imagine that all the dreams you’ve had for your life are part of your personal garden. Just like in a real garden, some of your plants/dreams die and if you don’t pull them out and weed them, they overcrowd the space and prevent the new seedlings/dreams from getting the sunlight that they need.
Every time we begin a new relationship or a job or a project, we imagine and put forth all these visions of how it’s going to be and how it’s going to turn out, and we send those dreams into the future. Sometimes though those relationships, jobs, and projects don’t come to fruition or turn out the way we wanted. We’ve invested so much energy dreaming them, that when they die, if the energy isn’t released, it takes up space in our precious plot of land.
Now sometimes you’ve excavated the pain and the emotions associated with the loss of those dreams, and sometimes, you haven’t. Today we’re going to weed what hasn’t been fully released, what still may trigger you, or what you’ve completely forgotten about.
So, here’s a visual you can take yourself through. Read it once fully to get an idea of the steps, and then imagine and see yourself doing what I’m describing:
Take a moment to center yourself and quiet your thoughts. You can even count from five to one if it helps. When you’re ready, close your eyes and imagine that you can go within yourself to find your garden.
See yourself in a beautiful place in nature, walking to a plot of land: it could be a raised garden bed or a plot, but either way, it’s got a boundary to it. That’s the garden of your dreams.
There may be beautiful flowering plants or trellises filled with flowers or fruit, which is fabulous, but today we’re concerning ourselves with what’s between the flowers: dead plants.
Walk over to your garden and if you like, put your gardening gloves on; you’re going to start weeding. Imagine yourself right now pulling all those weeds out, all those old dried up and dead dreams. Some of the dreams you may be aware of, and some you may have no idea what you’re pulling out. There may be dreams from childhood with the fantasies you had, or from when you were a teenager and you thought you would be a famous, fill in the blank. Those need to be weeded.
As you pull the weeds, you may feel emotions welling up. If so, honor those and allow yourself to feel the feelings, be it sadness, rage, resentment- whatever arises. Feel the feelings as you hold that particular dead dream so the energy can be released. Then take your power back from that dream.
Be aware that while some of the dreams have shallow roots, some have very deep roots. At the end of the season, I’ll find my tomato plants have rooted below all the other plants, taking up space and invading my garden. It’s the same with certain dreams. Some dreams you've been so heavily invested in them manifesting, that even as they died, that root system is still there, affecting everything else. You need to dig deep down to excavate all the roots.
When you’ve got a dead plant in hand, imagine either a contained bonfire next to the garden or a big trash can. You need somewhere to toss those weeds. If you throw the weeds into the fire, imagine the fire is burning away the energy of the old, transforming and releasing it. If you put them in a big garbage can, at the end when it’s full, hand the garbage can to your Higher Self to be taken out of your space and again, the energy within, transformed. Either the fire or the trash can is a symbolic way to show your subconscious that you are letting them go.
When all the weeds are gone, see bags of soil enhancer next to the garden. The soil enhancer is love, light, joy, and happiness. Open those bags and dump the contents into the garden and mix them into the soil. See the soil becoming a deep dark brown, rich and full of nutrients.
Now think about what you want to create, and plant the new seeds that you have, the new dreams. If you need time to ponder this, that’s okay, you can come back at any time. In the meantime, feed the plants that are thriving in the garden already, by putting the soil enhancer around them. They’ll now have more space to expand and grow without the dead plants taking up precious minerals.
Feed the garden your love. Imagine it raining love into the soil.
As an add-on if it appeals to you, when you’re done with your garden, see yourself dropping the clothes you’re wearing that have been symbolic of the old you and the places you still were tied to the weeds. Throw those into the fire or hand them over to your Higher Self.
Then off to the side, notice a box with a big bow in your favorite color. Open the box to find it filled with brand new beautiful, sparkling clothes that when you put them on, they feel so good and soft and cozy. They feel light and expansive. They feel energized and vibrant. Wear those as you exit the garden, filled with joy and happiness.
When you're ready, open your eyes and move about your day.
The subconscious speaks in images so this is a powerful way to give it the message of what you no longer want, and what you desire more of.
Get into it, the more emotion you bring the better.
And when you’re done, celebrate your success.
Happy weeding and may your garden sprout phenomenal new dreams!!
I spoke of the battlefield a few weeks ago but I’m bringing this up again now because A: it’s been coming up in so many of your sessions recently, and B: as we move more fully into the age of Aquarius, which is all about cooperation and unity, it’s time to set down the battles that you’ve been waging so that you can create a new reality for yourself.
The idea of a battlefield was originally introduced to me by Lazaris 12 years ago, but recently, it began appearing to me in my personal growth work and in sessions in a very specific way that's quite different than how they taught it.
The best way for me to explain the battlefield, is that there’s a part of you on a figurative, yet very real, battlefield, sword in hand, engaging with the enemy. The battle can be draining you energetically and physically, yet still you persist in fighting.
The main way to know you’re on the battlefield is if there’s an issue that keeps coming back again, over and over. It’s accompanied by the frustration that no matter what you do, the issue won’t seem to budge.
On the battlefield you can be fighting anything: maybe you’re at war with yourself; refusing love, refusing ease, living in lack, punishing yourself, or denying yourself happiness etc. Maybe you’re fighting life; not trusting that you can receive what you want and being stuck in self-pity or victimhood, believing that you’re powerless. Maybe you’re fighting childhood demons, still living as if they can control you now. You could be battling a specific person from the past or present, still trying to create justice. Or maybe you battle your body and its limitations or perceived flaws.
Regardless of what you’re battling, battles take a lot of energy to keep the hatred, resistance or anger etc. alive. Battles can be rage filled or sad or any other emotion. They steal your attention and drain you of joy, peace, and harmony.
A lot of what we fight is in our own minds; wounds and traumas or patterns of negative behavior that the negative ego perpetuates, and we keep living.
Maybe you think you need to keep fighting because it’s just the way it is, and nothing/no one can help you. Not only is that a faulty belief, but it also keeps you engaged with the darkness within you.
Maybe you fight because there’s a righteous part of you that wants the other to get their comeuppance. You want to be the victor at all costs. Unfortunately the cost is you.
When you go to these places emotionally, not only are you feeding the very thing you say you want to release, but it also drops you very low energetically. You cannot find solutions in that place.
Sometimes you need to process through a myriad of emotions to really excavate what’s going on, while working through layers of anger and rage etc. before you can truly put your sword down. And sometimes, you’ve done everything and now it’s time to let it go.
There’s another huge battle that I’m seeing play out which is fighting evil. Many of you came in from lifetimes of actively fighting the dark. It’s in your bones to battle with dark forces of any nature. I get it, that was me for most of my life. Now, I’m not saying it’s bad to want things to be better, what I’m saying is that a consistent battle with the dark not only drains your life force, it keeps the battle going. It keeps the dark present and draws it to you. Anything you in engage in, gives it energy.
The solution to all of this is to lay down your sword and step off the battlefield. In my mind, the battlefield is muddy and dark, yet immediately to the side of the battlefield is beautiful lush green grass. When you set down your sword and walk onto the grass, you keep walking into a magnificent meadow, filled with an abundance of wildflowers, a warm beautiful sun, and the feeling of total calm.
The subconscious understands symbols and feelings even better than words. I’ve written a detailed guided imagery at the bottom of the blog to help you leave the battlefield.
When you step off into the meadow, you allow love and light into the issue you’ve been battling and resisting. You stop feeding it negativity and you feed it love. And I don’t mean just this airy-fairy idea of love, I mean actually infusing that area of your life with the Divine essence of love: yourself, your body, your psyche, your relationships. Inviting in and actively visualizing that love enter that space. Forgiving yourself for anything that has kept you engaged in battle.
Now, I hear some of your protests and questions so let me clarify: I am absolutely horrified by some of the stuff going on in our country and in the world. I do not accept injustice. I completely rail and vent and process through all of my rage etc. and then I take my power back and I start visualizing and putting all of my energy into the solution I choose to see. Into the reality I choose to see. Into the light and the justice. I step off the battlefield so that I’m not engaged and actively fighting over and over with the darkness. I refuse to give the perpetrators more energy. By my disengaging I become more powerful than them. I stand over in the meadow bathed in light. I send that light of healing from a place of empowerment. I become a giant of the light versus sinking into the mud of animosity and darkness.
When you’re stuck in battle, you can’t be your greater self. And your greater self is what’s needed to heal both your personal reality, and the world.
Be willing to set down your sword, and expand your inner light.
Here’s a more detailed visualization for you to set you free:
See yourself on your battlefield. You may know what you’re battling, or you may not. See yourself standing in the thick mud and notice the battle going on around you. Maybe you see many versions of you fighting the enemy, maybe you just hear the clang of swords, or maybe you see yourself bloodied and beaten down while the enemy waits for you to start fighting again. Use your imagination.
Look over and see the clear line of delineation between the mud and the grass. Walk over to line, still on the side of the battlefield, and state that you are willing to stop this battle. Proclaim that you forgive and release yourself and what/who you’re fighting. State that you choose love and freedom instead of this, that you choose peace and harmony.
Set down your sword, and you may even need to line up all the yous from different lifetimes of battling and have every you set their sword down simultaneously. It’s a powerful message of disengaging and empowerment to show your subconscious. Then with purpose, step over the line onto the grass, and watch as that the battle begins to evaporate and disappear.
Once it’s gone, walk deeper into the meadow. Stand in the meadow with your arms outstretched. Notice a golden ball of light above you opening up and raining into your space all of your power and energy that was wrapped up in battle. Then feel the pure energy of love raining in, filling the very spaces where you’d battled. Feel it coming back into you, revitalizing you, filling you, healing and transforming you. The more you fill yourself, the more you remember you have the power to change anything. You remember that love is the greatest healer. And you remember who you really are.
Do this as often as needed to disengage from battle. If it’s been a stubborn issue, you may need to repeat this process a few times until your subconscious gets the message.
May it bring you phenomenal peace.
Right now, with many losing their minds, it’s important to remember to not engage crazy. There are those who thrive on drama, who want to sweep you into their mess, who want to amp up discord. However, as I’ve reminded you often lately, you don’t need to participate.
One of my favorite metaphors comes from my friend Linda Foley. She always told me to stay off the crazy playground. What is the crazy playground you ask?
The way I think of the crazy playground is as if imagining yourself stuck on a carousel, and you just keep circling around and around with either a person or an issue. It doesn’t stop moving, it’s up to you to step off.
How do you know you’re on the crazy playground? When you’re engaging in a battle. When a fight has escalated beyond what it’s even really about. When someone has no interest in looking at their part of their mess and simply wants to blame. When someone is sinking into their own story and refuses any bit of sane advice. When you’re arguing over and over and over and getting nowhere.
It’s anytime you can tell the other person doesn’t hear you, or you’re mired in an old pattern, or with somebody who’s stuck in their negative ego- and you just keep circling around and around and around, and refuse to take the highroad and walk away.
Here’s an example: a client of mine has a mother that always has a crisis going on, always needing something. The mother thrives on drama. She dumps it on my client and expects my client to fix it all. Eventually, through talking about this metaphor, my client realized that she’s constantly on the crazy playground with her mother. Always engaging the crazy by responding to it, and/or resisting it. Resistance still keeps you on the playground. It wasn’t until she took her power back one day and realized that:
A: she was not at her mother’s beck and call and could simply not answer the phone – to which to some of you might say, “well duh,” but to others who know what it’s like when somebody needs you and is continually looking to you for something, that’s not always easy.
And B: when her mom started dumping all of the issues on her, she simply said, “I cannot help you today. I hope you’re able to fix that problem. I have to go now, we’ll talk soon.”
She let her mom know that she would not be there to solve that particular problem, nor any other problems coming up. She held the boundary of her sanity being more important than being on that merry go round of crazy.
There’s not just a merry go round on the crazy playground, there’s also a teeter totter- where someone is always up and the other is always down- a swing set, the monkey bars – they can all be metaphors for however the crazy is playing out.
You won’t always recognize that you’re stuck there. Sometimes you simply think you’re engaging in dialogue or discussion. But notice if it keeps going in circles. Notice if there always has to be a winner and a loser. Notice if you’re so used to it that you don’t realize that you are worthy and deserving of peace and serenity.
Regardless of which vehicle you’re on in the playground, ultimately, sanity comes from disengaging and walking away. Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? Do you want tranquility, or do you want conflict?
You take your power back by not only stepping off the merry-go-round, but actually walking to the edge of the playground, opening the gate, and closing it behind you to completely detach and liberate yourself.
In my imagination, the land outside the gate of the crazy playground is serene, peaceful, and beautiful.
You deserve to be there. When you find yourself in the crazy playground, use the imagery of walking out, closing the gate, and then set the boundaries needed, cut the cords, and choose peace instead of chaos. Focus on being the best you that you can be, and don’t give your power away to anything/anyone that disrupts your calm.
If it helps, in your head say, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
The more you disengage from crazy, the more you teach your subconscious that you won't allow it in your reality, thereby creating more harmonious people/circumstances in your life.
You are worthy of contentment and well-being.
May you find peace and sanity this week!
Me, Tina Germain, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!