It takes courage to listen to your gut and act on it, even when your rational mind tells you otherwise.
It takes courage to voice your truth and the truth of who you are, even if you know you will be met with a lack of approval.
It takes courage to follow your dreams, even when you fear failing.
It takes courage to open your heart, especially when you’ve been hurt before.
It takes courage to say, “No, I will not allow this,” in relation to either your own personal boundaries, or something you see going on in the world. To put your foot down and take a stand is courageous.
It takes courage to leave your comfort zone and venture into the unknown. That can be with a new job, relationship, place to live, or simply expressing a different opinion than what you had always been taught.
It takes courage to differ from your family of origin and to know that they may be disappointed.
It takes courage to proclaim to yourself that you refuse to live a life defined by anyone else’s rules or expectations, and that you are going to follow your own path one step at a time, creating happiness each and every moment. Finding what brings you fulfillment versus what your family/society/religion tells you.
It takes courage to find the answers within, versus acquiescing to, or parroting, everyone else's opinions and thoughts.
It takes courage to be truthful with how we feel, versus people pleasing.
It takes courage to admit you were wrong, and do what you can to make it right.
It takes courage to think outside the box and look at things from a new perspective, or to create something that has never been imagined before.
It takes courage to silence the loud ego mind, and to listen to/act from the still quiet voice within.
It takes courage to stop defending against your actions/reactions, and really look at your part in a situation/conflict.
It takes courage to forgive, when you want to punish. For ultimately, that is the gift that will set you free.
Speaking of courage, I encourage you to seek out and read perspectives and information on racism and the subtle and insidious ways it shows itself in the collective consciousness. It’s not always overt, the subtle has done just as much damage.
It’s easy to say, "I’m not racist," and dismiss what I’m saying, yet I ask you to look at it from a place of humility versus defending against your position.
It takes courage to say, "Wow, where have I unconsciously contributed to, or even been unaware of, the situation? Where can I learn and uncover my issues to do better and be better?"
It starts with you.
It seems that the worst of humanity is coming out right now. I’m watching friends get attacked for posts that are very calm and loving, people taking advantage of the protests by rioting, lots of shaming of others for trying to be supportive, and incredible righteousness over who’s right/wrong; it’s enough to make you lose faith…
I know many of you are overwhelmed. The energy is remarkably intense and destructive.
And yet, in the depths of darkness, in the dimness of the cocoon, the caterpillar is being dissolved to allow it to become the butterfly.
Do not give your power to impotence, to thinking there’s nothing you can do.
It may seem fluff, but the vision has to start with you; each of us individually owning the reality we want to see and then creating it, one step at a time, one election at a time, to create a revolutionary change at a core level.
Each of us healing ourselves and our own violent anger, rage, and pain so that there’s less of those energies in the world.
It starts with our individual hearts and minds choosing to see a reality of equality and inclusiveness.
Now more then ever, it’s important to use your voice. Your voice matters, you deserve to be heard. Speak for those who cannot speak. Use for your voice for those who have no voice or whose voices have been silenced.
You may not literally go out and speak, you can voice it through your art, through your acts of kindness, through the people and companies you support. Through the products you buy and the things you listen to. Through the love you send to the world. And through the declaration to the world, even if done in the privacy of your home, of saying:
“Enough! I refuse a reality of exclusiveness. I refuse a reality of domination. I refuse a reality of inequality.”
You may feel powerless but you’re not.
Never underestimate the power of the imagination. If you can see it in your imagination, you can believe it, and then you can create it and live it. If you don’t create it in your world, how will you see it in the world?
I wrote a blog that I posted on Instagram on Sunday and in it, I said that what I do doesn’t feel like enough. I recognized the next morning that I gave my power away to a false idea. My form of voice and power may not look like the way others express theirs, and that’s OK. We need a contrast of strengths to lift each other up.
So dream. Dream big. Be powerful in your dreams. Own your visions. Join me and together we can dream into being a world more phenomenal than we can even imagine.
Let’s be the visionaries for a new world. I’m holding the light of hope for you, will you accept it?
To listen to the audio version of this blog, click here.
I’ve had to really take my power back lately: from externals- such as the global crisis and Covid restrictions, to internals- my inner child, adolescent, and negative ego. I've also had to pull my power and energy back from wanting to future trip and think about something farther off in my day/week, and worry about it. It’s been more obvious to me lately when I do this, and thus, when I do and take my power back, I am so much more present, centered, calm, and empowered.
Which leads me to today's topic: I want to address something that has been coming up a lot lately: the idea that an issue you have can’t be fixed or that nothing can help you.
These are beliefs. They are only as true as the energy that you give them. They do not need to be true. Repetitive thought makes them true. Then the universe shows you the very thing that you keep repeating to yourself.
You can argue with me that truly nothing you do seems to shift an issue. Let’s break that apart then:
First, you believe it. You believe it fully. The universe is complying with that belief and making sure that nothing you do works.
Let’s just play with the idea that that belief could be faulty. I get it, I really do. I hear the angst in your voice; I know the frustration. You’re at your wits end. Things don’t seem to shift. So humor me for a moment. Are you willing to own that your thought could be a lie? Just open to it.
Do you know for certain that the universe has not been trying to help you only to have it be rebounded back? You don’t, so let’s say that’s the case. You may not be receiving/allowing the help you need because of the paradigm in which you grew up where when you asked for help, either you didn’t receive what you wanted, bad things happened, or you were hurt etc. Have you personified the universe to be exactly like the authority figures when you were growing up? Is the universe benevolent and generous or withholding and limiting?
Next step: where have you given away your power to believe that your statement is true?
That is the core of it, that is the frustration of it: the idea that you keep doing everything and nothing is working. You are essentially powerless.
That my friends is an enormous lie. I think probably the biggest one out there. What better way to control somebody than to make them think they’re powerless?
Yes, you were powerless as a child. As an adolescent too. You had to follow the rules or the consequences could be severe. Especially as a little child.
However, those parts of you are no longer allowed to run the show. They may have colored your current worldview based on the past, and are still getting something by keeping the pattern going. You can talk to those aspects and let them know you’re creating a new reality. You may need to do deeper work with them, but ultimately you the adult makes the conscious present moment choice. You have the power in the now to choose differently.
You may also have given your power away to your negative ego. The negative ego seduces you with fear, worry, and anxiety. It wants you scared and afraid of everything. It will convince you that they’re doing it to you. Or even that there are dark forces looming over you, just waiting to attack. Both of these perpetuate the idea of powerlessness.
I get that when you feel so powerless it makes sense that it’s external. However, when you do a deep dive into your own negative ego and shadow, you uncover the truth; that the answer is within. That’s where the lie of powerlessness festers.
As you look to these areas, the more aware you become, the more you can take your power back.
And to deepen what I’m saying, as I said above, your power is in your choice. Even if you’re in an unpleasant situation and it seems that your options aren’t great, you still have the power to choose how to respond. You can respond from your child, negative ego or adolescent, or you the adult can choose a higher response. You have the power to change any situation by your thoughts and attitudes about it. That’s power. To not give anything external, or even the internal monkey mind, the ability to ruin your serenity. Personal power is taking the tools at your disposal and making the best of them.
The universe actually is on your side, so stop fighting for your limitations.
You have to be the light first and that entails owning your personal power so call it back. You’re not your mind, not your body, not your thoughts, not your ego. You are a powerful infinite being of light, never forget this.
(For further help in taking your power back, click here.)
I’m always telling you to author your reality, but in a practical sense, how does one do that?
It’s actually both simple and it requires conscious recognition which might not always be easy. Yet it is absolutely doable and the results are fantastic.
So how do you begin? Awareness is key. Here’s an exercise to start the process. It originated from my healer friend Rose Colarossi, with a modification from me. It reminds me of morning pages from Julia Cameron, but with a twist:
1- Each morning in your journal, on the left side of the page, vent away. Everything you really feel and think, no holding back or editing. Use the page to get it out of you and onto paper.
2- When you’re done, look back through what you wrote and in red ink, cross out all the negative words, sentences, shoulds, and have to’s, etc.
3- Rewrite the story of your venting in positive ways on the right side of the paper, even if it’s not true. For example, change, “I hated waking up this morning. I’m so crabby and tired” to “I woke up refreshed and filled with energy and enthusiasm for my day!”
4- As your rewrite most likely won’t take a full page, with the remainder of the paper, write what you’re grateful for, at least 5 things.
You may discount this at first as being silly or stupid, but the more you do it, the more you’re showing your subconscious what you do want and the more you will find yourself shifting away from negative thoughts/feelings and into a more positive reality.
Now with that, notice your thoughts/feelings not just in the morning, but throughout your day. If you’re grumbling and bitching, can you see the situation differently? Can you change those negatives into a new positive perspective? Yes you can and the more you do, the more of that positive you’ll attract.
Now look, you’re human, some days you really need to allow yourself to go dark and process whatever is going on. I’ve written about that before to help you during those times. This isn’t that, this is, on a moment-by-moment basis, how am I choosing to see and respond to the world? Because it’s all a choice. No one is doing anything to you, you are not powerless. I’ll keep repeating that until you hear it.
By your thoughts and emotions, you are attracting people/situations to you, so why not author a great reality? Anything can be changed, nothing is set in stone. You have the power to turn around a bad day. And if it’s really bad, then hide under the covers and give yourself a reprieve. Without judgment!
However, daily get into a new habit: own your power, own your voice and own your authorship. Choose better thoughts and emotions that uplift you. Even if they’re not “true.” Who cares! Your subconscious won’t know the difference, it just brings to you what you’re asking for.
Give yourself permission to write the story the way you want it to be. Stop battling your negative ego and monkey mind and over-ride them by raising your vibration and ignoring their “poor me story.” No one else has the power to write your story, so stop giving responsibility away to others. You are the author. Live from what you’re creating versus merely being in reaction to what’s happening.
Challenge your thoughts: “Why do I think that? Is it really true?
Challenge your emotions: “Is this feeling in present time or am I in reaction old pain and wounds? What is this emotion trying to tell me?”
Then forgive the old thoughts and emotions and choose again.
Write a kick ass novel you’re proud to share. Remember, your light is way more powerful than any dark, so for 2020, author an extraordinary new story filled with everything that makes your heart sing with joy. It is your reality after all.
Absolutely everything is a choice.
I tell you that all the time and yet, I recently fell into “poor me,” meltdown rage, and feeling like rebelling against authority.
I’m doing a major physical detox for healing and having to limit foods has caused me crazy rebellion at times. But who am I really rebelling against? It’s my choice to follow this protocol. It was my desire for healing and asking for help from my unseen team that brought me to this person I’m now working with. So while I could bitch and moan, I needed a reality check of - “No one is forcing me to do this. I am choosing based on the future I desire to create: one of incredibly radiant health and physical wellness.”
I did need to have a talk with my inner child and more significantly, my inner adolescent- the one who rebels against everything and thinks many things are stupid. I needed to take my power back from her and move her to her safe place (I can teach you how to do this), which needed to be updated. There was a noticeable difference when I did that, I was immediately more accepting and could act like an adult, making adult decisions.
You are never powerless. At any given moment you have a choice as to how to respond. You can choose to rise above and respond as the adult, or be reactive and act out from your child or adolescent.
You make choices constantly by how you respond to the things and people around you. There is no one to blame. No one is doing anything to you. Take responsibility and make the choice you want and then do not bitch and moan when you do. Or if it the pity/rage/blame etc. is really loud for you, then do as I did and dive into it fully, hearing it out so that you can release it. Then call your power back to you the adult in present time, and find out what you need to move forward in confidence and healing.
Look at your thoughts, look at your feelings, you choose continually all day. If you don’t like the outcomes, choose differently; choose more empowering and motivating thoughts/words/feelings because remember, what you focus on expands.
In the midst of a mini meltdown one particularly intense day of detox when old issues were surfacing, I did just that. I’d had enough of my self-pity and these words came flowing out of me. Wow did they change my perspective fast and bring me back to a place of empowerment:
“I am free! Do not put myself in a prison of my own making.
I choose the energies of what I want to feel today.
I choose how to respond to and experience my day.
Me- no one else.
No one is doing anything to me.
I have conscious choice which is the most powerful choice - and I choose to have fun and feel free, without restriction or limitation.
I am only as limited as I allow myself to believe I am.
I am not my body. I am unlimited. I am limitless light and love.
Remember who I really am.
I am powerful!!!!”
May these words help you as well to overcome any obstacles you butt up against. We are in a time of extraordinary growth and ever increasing consciousness and sometimes that can get uncomfortable. If you remember your power and make strong choices, you can overcome anything.
For many of us, struggle has become so normal that we don’t even recognize it. We struggle to find love, find a career we love, be creative, move past old pain, heal our wounds, be healthy, we struggle to find joy, to feel fulfilled, to be our best selves.
We’re so embroiled in struggle, that we’ve begun to create our reality from a reactionary place, rather than a purely creative one; reacting to the hardships and difficulties, rather than creating what we want from a place of joy and freedom. We don’t trust that it can be easy. We think we have to suffer and be in circumstances that make us miserable because stepping out of them feels like too much of a struggle. But we’re already struggling within those painful circumstances! Struggle has become such a way of life that we don’t realize it anymore, it just is.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Nor does it have to be a struggle to release struggle. This week, simply notice anywhere that you struggle in your reality and instead, play with the idea that the Universe is actually here to help you. Release resistance and instead, allow in, “I can let this be easy.”
At its core, the Universe is made of love. So any lies you’ve been telling yourself that somehow you are separate from that love or you don’t deserve that love, are just that, lies. Your soul was made from love, and it’s only your stubborn opposition to that truth that keeps you stuck in struggle.
What if you allow that all the times that you felt that the Universe let you down and wasn’t there for you, were really your own need to learn lessons and grow on a soul level and out of love, and free will, the Universe supported you in those decisions to go dark, and separate from that very love.
Now it’s time to stop pretending that you are anything other than love. Own the truth that you were made from love, you are part of love, and the Universe actually does want to help you.
Your negative ego will balk at this, because to change this within you, means that you have immense power at your disposal. And yes, we’ve all lived some brutal past lives and so there is ingrained fear in fully opening to the depth and truth of Universal love again. But we’re at a crossroads of evolution, and the old ways no longer apply. Can you find the courage within yourself to hold the possibility that you truly are love incarnate? That through you the Universe gets to experience joy, fun, freedom etc. so why would it not want you to have those things?
Even if you don’t fully believe it yet, just allow those seeds to germinate in your mind.
Forgive yourself for all the struggle and all of the misguided perceptions of struggle, and simply hold a new belief that you allow it to be easy. That you are a being of love, you are an aspect of God/Goddess/All That Is/Source/Universe and as that aspect, you are now allowing more elegance and ease into your life.
Play with this concept. Write it on post it notes and put them around the house. Don’t read this blog and then let it go, only to be forgotten. Follow the brilliant advice of AA and simply one day at a time, keep owning this new truth about yourself. Those little steps every day, will lead to incredible results over time.
Forgive yourself for the struggle, and without struggling, simply turn your attention to the ease.
This has come up a lot lately so I want to remind you all: sometimes it takes time to see the changes in your reality that you’ve been working to create.
After you’ve made big changes, something may appear to trigger old wounds. Negative ego kickback? Possibly. Or, your subconscious is so used to showing you a reality reflective of your wound, that it hasn’t quite gotten the memo yet.
There are mounds of corroborating evidence for the old belief/pattern/way of being, and not much yet to support the new.
Here’s an example: let’s say you’ve worked to overcome a belief that you have to do it all yourself and that you can’t rely on others. You’ve instilled a belief; “It’s safe for me to be. I now elegantly receive all the help and support I need.”
You’ve done the work to clear the old and implement the new. You’re excited for your new reality. You really feel ready to receive support. And then, you ask for help, and … crickets… no one steps up.
Maybe you go right to anger: “See, I knew I’d have to do it all. No one is there for me!” Ok- that’s not helping and all it does is affirm the old that you so diligently worked to change.
Instead, stop, breathe, and say gently or with humor (humor always defuses the intense emotion), “Hey subconscious, I know my whole life I’ve had this pattern/belief but we’re changing that. Remember I instilled a new program. What I’m choosing to see is a reality of X (in the example above, it would be that of being supported). Show me a reality in which that manifests.”
It’s vital to catch it; you cannot allow the old emotions to triumph. That will simply feed your negative ego and hook you back into the past. Thus, doing it with humor if needed.
By saying, “Show me a reality in which…,” you’re affirming the new and where you want to head. It pulls you into the future and out of past traumas.
You’re also bringing in the power of choice, “I choose to see a reality in which…” Conscious choice always beats subconscious programming.
Think of it like this: it’s as if your subconscious was always a garbage collector and suddenly you want it to be an impressionist painter. Do-able? Absolutely. But again, sometimes it takes time and repeated focus on what you do want, versus what you don’t.
So the next time an old wound surfaces, stop, breathe, and talk to your subconscious. Empower yourself in your reality and in the future you’re creating.
You all know that I talk openly about dealing with anger and rage. I certainly don’t shy away from those emotions- lol! You also know that I like to give you tools for dealing/healing when you hit up against these, or other darker emotions. So here’s my story:
Last week, I got hit with intense rage, and I really didn’t know the cause. All I knew was that it was so heavy and uncomfortable that it was giving me a headache I felt it so strongly.
First and foremost, I acknowledged it and didn’t shove it down. I made time to deal with it. This is key for those of you who avoid or numb through food, alcohol, social media, etc. You have to make time to hear it out and deal with it. Shoving it down only causes it to come out in more harmful ways.
So, I made the time. I silent screamed because it was so overwhelming. And by that, I mean screaming but with no sound- didn’t want to scare the neighbors. Then I went into a rage bubble (see technique on resource page) and ranted and got it out as much as was possible. Usually that does the trick but this time it still wasn’t budging and I really didn’t know what it was related to.
So I began to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), also known as tapping. I tapped on all the areas, not following any “rules” or specific things to say, simply saying, “all this rage” over and over while touching each point. I also added in words about questioning what it was about. I stayed in the moment and spoke whatever came to me. At some point, I started to realize where it was coming from and what triggered me. It was an old memory that somehow surfaced. So I continued tapping, talking about the memory, and releasing the buried angers.
While I was doing this, I felt the loneliness, abandonment and pain that was below the rage so I began talking about those while tapping on each point. I did this until I felt it felt right to stop.
Then I felt like writing. So I wrote it all, angrily, all my pain and hurt etc. It felt cathartic. And I blamed- fully. When done, I took the papers outside and burned them. I wanted that released.
When I came inside, I did a Lazaris technique that I remembered from years ago, called “The Art of Forgetting.” I will give you an abbreviated version, but please reach out if you want me to explain it more fully:
I visualized an image of that memory. I could see myself in the memory as if looking at a picture. Then I began siphoning all the color and energy out of it. Lazaris says to pull out the “life and the light” from the image. Eventually I saw the picture becoming black and white as I pulled back my power, and my energy, until it was flat and devoid of life. Once it was drained, I took the raw energy out and gave it to my Higher Self (again, email me if you have questions. These last steps are more detailed than I am describing). Beyond my seeing, I allowed my Higher Self to transmute and transform it. Once it was healed, they returned that raw energy back to me so that I could send it into somewhere I know, or into something beyond what I could imagine. I chose the latter.
The intensity of rage and pain etc. became an intensity of love and light.
After that all completed, it felt right to tap again and so I did so, this time asking to “receive the healing.” I asked for that over and over; to receive the forgiveness and healing that would set me free. I also stated that “I allow and receive” the healing, while tapping each point. I pictured myself being filled with beautiful golden light streaming into my space, and into everywhere my bodies- emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical- had been affected.
At the end, I was in incredible peace and no longer carrying any conscious or subconscious rage. I set the person free from that memory as well.
So why do I detail this? As I said, to empower you. To teach you that sometimes it takes trying many different things to find what you most need to heal. To remind you that even if you don’t know why you’re upset, your subconscious does so sometimes you need to go through the process to discover the reason. To see that when you get triggered, it doesn’t have to control you or knock you out of your body.
The more you take your power back and clear the dark, the more space there is for joy, laughter, fun, and love.
So the next time some emotion slams you, talk to it. See what you need. Give it time and attention so you can go through it to gather its lessons. Not only will you give yourself greater freedom, you will be healing the world by clearing out more of the dark. It starts with you.
Me, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!