Since we talked about fear last week, I want to share another technique to add to your energy tool belt. I created this a few years ago, and it’s one of my go-to methods because it’s both simple and highly effective.

This technique is especially helpful when fear feels overwhelming or when your mind won’t quiet down—when the inner chatter becomes relentless, almost like a high-pitched, nonstop noise in your head.

Often, racing thoughts and overthinking stem from a fear response that gets trapped in the body. If you’ve tried grounding yourself but the panicked mental cacophony won’t subside, stuck fear may be the culprit.

In traditional Chinese medicine, different organs store different emotions and the kidneys hold the frequency of fear. Fear can become lodged there, intensifying anxiety and mental static.

Here’s what I do when that happens:
(If you’d rather watch and follow along, click here for my YouTube video where I walk you through this technique step by step)
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-Place your hands over your lower back where your kidneys are—no need to be exact. With your hands spread, you’ll naturally cover the area.

-Start by gently tapping and taking three deep breaths in and out. This helps loosen that high-frequency panic you may be hearing in your head or feeling in your body.

-Next, breathe into your hands, allowing your lower back to expand on the inhale, filling your kidneys with breath and light. As you exhale, imagine that energy flowing down through your tailbone and into the Earth. Repeat this a few times.

I find that after doing this, everything settles—my body, my mind, and my emotions all feel quieter.

If you still feel amped up, try my deep grounding meditation—earth energy is powerful for pulling out any lingering fear. But more often than not, this technique alone will bring you back to center.
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Try this the next time fear won’t let go. It’s a simple yet powerful way to reset and find more inner peace. I hope it helps you as much as it’s helped me!
 
 

I started the year working to be very mindful of my thoughts and emotions. Because of that, I was catching any time a negative thought or crabby feeling was present.
 
I knew I needed to shift that thought/feeling quickly into something else, so I came up with the image of a pink elephant. She looks a bit like dumbo, minus the ears, and she has wings.
 
Now, why a pink elephant you might ask? Because it makes me laugh and stop taking myself so seriously. It shifts my mood, even if I have to keep putting the pink elephant in my face as my object of focus.
 
To me, the pink elephant represents inner peace and freedom. Freedom and peace from whatever dark thoughts and feelings I'm experiencing. And wow has it worked wonders!
 
You can use any ridiculous image- a purple kangaroo with a top hat and cane, a giant bunny dressed and celebrating like it’s Mardi Gras- anything. It doesn't have to be an animal, but it needs to be silly enough to give you pause and get you out of your swirl of negativity and fears etc. Something to literally lighten your mood. If it makes you smile or laugh, all the better!
 
Because remember, nothing has power over you when you can laugh at it.
 
That’s how I learned to clear ghosts from haunted houses. No matter how awful the energy was, it couldn’t touch me when I was laughing at it.
 
And you may need to fake it 'til you make it at first. That’s why you choose an absurd, goofy image.
 
Try it this week and let me know how it goes and what image you come up with. I’ll tell you this, I’ve found incredible liberation already this year with my pink elephant. If I can do it, so can you!

We talked about judgments and judging others two weeks ago, now how about healing self-judgment?
 
As a reminder, the problem with judgments, are that judgments separate.
 
Judgments separate you from the very thing you want. Judgments create a chasm, rather than a bridge.
 
I’m sure you’ve judged yourself; I sure have. I caught myself in the shower the other morning having the thoughts of, “Why did I do it that way? I knew better! I should’ve done it this other way.” Then fuming over my “mistake.”
 
That might be seemingly innocuous, but that self-judgment, that’s creating a rift between me and self-love. Its allowing a spiral of darker thoughts to enter. At its darkest, some of you may devolve into, “I’m so stupid. What’s wrong with me?” If you go to those thoughts, those words stem from deep shame. That shame needs to be addressed and released.
 
As I said two weeks ago, catching those thoughts is step one, and the quicker the better. You can’t change what you’re unaware of. When you catch them, say “cancel/clear” to delete the energy.
 
Since judgments separate, what you need is connection. Connection to yourself. Take a deep breath and feel into your body. As you focus on your breathing, you can even put your hands over your heart since the disconnect is rooted here. Breathe: do an even count of breaths in and out.
 
This will begin to calm your system. Then ground yourself to the planet, in present time. Feel your feet on the ground. Become aware of and feel your body. Imagine the energy at your tailbone heading downward through the ground, to hook you deep into the planet.
 
Center your energy within yourself and breathe in love and compassion. Breathe in and speak words of forgiveness. For example, “I forgive myself for this thought. I forgive and release my self-judgment.”
 
Then move to what you’re choosing instead and since you were judging yourself, change that to, “I love and accept myself, exactly as I am.”
 
Notice if your inner critic pipes up as you say that. Can you silence her/him and activate your inner coach instead who says, “You’re good. You got this!”
 
It may not be easy at first but remember, the critic is never satisfied. That's its role- it judges, judges, judges. But have you ever found benefit from its barrage of negativity? No, because there’s nothing constructive about it. Whereas an inner coach can encourage and support you. You may not sense them yet so activate them. Invite them to speak and cheer you on.
 
The whole process of releasing self-judgment doesn’t have to take long and it’s hugely effective! I did this myself yesterday while driving. A really nasty, “what’s wrong with me” thought popped in and it felt so awful that I immediately said, “cancel clear” and then did the steps above.
 
Let’s look at some specifics:
If you're judging yourself for what you ate, how about instead, “It's safe for me to feel pleasure with food. It's safe for me to honor what my body needs.”
 
If you're feeling judgment because you didn't get through your to-do list, how about, “There’s plenty of time for me to do everything I need. I can move at a pace that is supportive of my system.”
 
If you’re judging yourself because you feel you’re not doing enough, first of all, that’s a big issue, reflective of competition in the Patriarchal paradigm we’re living in now. Especially for women. But that level of competition serves no purpose and only makes you exhaust yourself and again, separates you from self-care and self-acceptance. So, how about, “I’m enough. I do enough. Life is meant to be enjoyed, rather than being a race. It’s safe for me to slow down and rest when I need.”
 
Some of these may be difficult and feel like just words to start, but think of the phrase, “you catch more flys with honey.” You’re the same way. Compassion with yourself goes a longggg way to making a difference in every area of your life.
 
So remember, catch the judgment, cancel it, connect to yourself and your body, breathe in love, ground, forgive yourself, and choose self-love and self-acceptance. Don’t give your judgments the ability to make you feel badly. You have the power to release them and create a beautiful reality.
 
 

Let’s talk about the power of violet light.
 
Violet light is wonderfully protective and powerful. It negates and eradicates negativity.
 
If you're going into a situation and you're feeling that it might be overwhelming or there's a lot of chaos or negative people, shield yourself in violet. Fill and surround yourself in violet light.
 
If I’m traveling, I fill and surround my luggage, my purse, and my wallet in violet light. Every day I surround my car in violet light. And to show confirmation of its power, the other night, there was a drunk driver that hit some cars on our street and our car was fine. I absolutely know it was because the car was surrounded in a bubble of violet light. Talk about a validation!
 
Sometimes I mix violet with gold to raise the resonance to a Divine frequency for myself or something material again, such as the house, the car, or my purse.
 
If there's a stuck, negative, or limiting energy within yourself, saturate it with violet. If there's a blockage that you feel emotionally or mentally, saturate it with violet. And then follow with some beautiful gold. The violet will help clear the stuck energy and then the gold will anchor in a Divine frequency.
 
If you’re having a conflict some with someone, see and imagine the space between both of you being filled with violet light. Obviously you can't control them or how they respond, but you can fill the space between you both with violet, clearing any negative energy out of the communication and connection.
 
Violet light isn’t a one and done, so you’ll need to update it daily, or possibly a few times throughout the day.

There's a reason our crown chakras are violet- it connects us to the Divine and to our Higher Selves.

Think of St. Germain and his Violet Flame. It's transformative. 
 
Now, violet can be a tough color to imagine, so sometimes I will just go with a deeper purple with the intention that it's violet. Sometimes I can actually imagine violet, which is a lighter purple. It may not always be the easiest color to imagine, which is why sometimes I'll just start with a deep purple, and I'll imagine lightening it a bit. And it's all intention anyway. So, if I'm asking for violet light but I'm not able to quite tap into how that looks, it's still my intention that it's violet light.
 
Play with it because there's no end to how you can utilize the power of that color.  


YouTube Version of this Blog

This brilliant and easy technique comes from my friend Diane Serraino. Years ago, when she was dating, she would use it before every date to see the truth of the guy’s character, thus saving herself time and heartache.
 
The phrase is:
 
“Truth be known,
Truth be shown,
Show me the Highest Truth of ____ (fill in the name)”
 
 
Now inevitably, the guy would be mean to the waiter or say something totally inappropriate- something that showed who he really was.
 
Every so often, a guy would get to the second date, but then do or say something telling. And not from nerves, but from showing his character.
 
You can use this before business meetings or when interviewing people to work with. Really anytime you want to see the truth of another.
 
The key is to believe the information that's presented to you. Don’t think it’s a fluke or justify it away.
 
As Oprah says, “When people show you who they are, believe them.”
 
May this help you tremendously and bring you answers quickly!

To further the discussion from last week regarding emotions and stories, I had a morning recently when fear was loud, and I knew I needed to change the frequency before it spiraled out of control.
 
I started by acknowledging it and saying, “Hey fear, I hear you, I feel you, and I'm not going down that road.”
 
I could still hear it, so I then gently added, “Stop it.”
 
I took some deep breaths, grounded myself to the center of the planet, then imagined dropping the fear out of my body and aura. I imagined the heaviness of that emotion, like a lead weight, dropping deep into the ground to be transmuted. I kept dropping it until I felt lighter.
 
Simultaneously, I chose not to engage the story it was trying to tell. That’s the mental spin and the opposite, the healing, is full presence and connection to earth energy. I ran slow, calming, brown earth energy through my body.  (previous blog)

As that was soothing my body, I took my power back from fear. (previous blog)

I then asked myself, “What do I choose to experience instead?”
 
Depending on the fear, you’ll know what you need. It could be a sense of having or being enough, safety, radiant health, peace etc.
 
I created a simple statement to augment what I chose in place of the fear and kept repeating the new statement.
 
For example: “I am safe.”
“My body is now healing beautifully.”
“There is always enough money (or time).”  
“Everything is now falling into place easily and elegantly.”
“I am safe, even when facing the unknown.”
 
I kept breathing out any remaining fear, while grounding in present time and stating my name, the date, and the time. I also tapped around my left ear to re-set my brain and nervous system (video reminder here).

Once the fear released and I felt calm, I acknowledged that present and future me is in charge, not fear. So again, using the power of choice, I asked, “What am I choosing to draw to me?”
 
I got a vision of the future I wanted in place of the fearful future. That could be an image of you as healthy, safe, or financially secure etc. Whatever issue fear was stirring up, see its exact opposite reality and imagine grabbing it from the future, and pulling it into the now.
 
Then feel fully the feelings of peace, safety, health, enoughness, or happiness, and let what you desire be the only feelings you feel.
 
I know sometimes fear feels bigger than you but it’s not. The more quickly you catch it as it’s building, the more you stop the production of stress hormones and re-wire your neural pathways to allow less of it in the future. Think of it as a train that you refuse to let leave the station. You have the power to stop a fear spiral.
 
 
 

The holiday season can bring up a lot!
 
For those without family or who are feeling isolated and alone, make sure that you do something nice for yourself; whatever that means to you. It can be extremely painful right now so any kindness you show yourself can go a long way.
 
For those who will be with families and are worried about family dynamics, refer to the last blog and start shifting the energy with forgiveness now. The other thing to do, is to set yourself up for success before you see family.

Steps to Success:
 
-Acknowledge that yes, your feelings are valid, AND your family may never be able to hear or see you in present time. They may be stuck in the past, but you don’t need to be. Don’t revert back to child or adolescent behaviors. Hear what thoughts and beliefs come up in your mind and change them in the now. Your family is not the boss of your reality creation, YOU ARE!
 
-Process your feelings and emotions when you're on your own, and give yourself what you need, versus expecting it to come externally from your family.
 
-Take your power back, especially if you tend to surrender it to your parents or other family members.
 
-Watch your expectations. Do not visualize worst-case scenarios. Choose what you want to see. Keep choosing to see peace or harmony. Don't let the part of your mind that goes negative rule the show. Create a positive outcome. You have the power of thought and the power of choice, never forget that!
 
-In that vein, acknowledge and release your negative ego before you walk in the door so that you don't fall into old patterns of victimhood or blame. Silence that negative voice and banish it to the outside. Release what you can of any shame, need to control, need for perfection, rage, self-pity, and martyr ahead of time. 

-Boundaries are key. Don't surrender your energy to another; hold your energy around you. Put yourself in a protective energy bubble of gold or violet light. Emotionally, if someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer or that makes you uncomfortable, change the subject or say, “Why do you ask?” or “I prefer not to discuss that.” It’s OK to say “No,” literally or figuratively.

 Immediately before seeing anyone:
 
-Ground yourself and get yourself in present time* and rooted into your body because family can spin you out. This is the best thing you can do to create an empowered experience.
 
-Remind yourself that you are safe. You, present time adult you, creates safety. Don’t give that power away externally. If it feels awful with family and truly isn’t a safe place, leave! You've got to remember your needs, especially if you're under any sort of duress. You have to take care of yourself and put that oxygen mask on first.
 
Now, that doesn’t give you an excuse to match their behavior and act badly. Release any righteousness or desire to punish. BE the adult.
 
Which means:
 
-If you're getting triggered, leave the room. Excuse yourself and go breathe. If everyone else is melting down, you don't need to join. You're human so you may fall into old patterns of behavior; that's OK!! Forgive yourself and course correct.
 
And if you do all the above and it still goes sideways, try not to dive bomb. Sometimes energy and experiences shift immediately, and sometimes it takes time. Just keep doing your best to stay empowered in present time.
 
 Afterwards:
 
-Separate out energy! Give them back their energy and call yours back to you.
 
-Ground again. Whether you got triggered or not, get yourself back into your body in the now. Release any mental chatter. Imagine closing the door on all conversations from the night.
 
 
Be compassionate with yourself; it starts with you.
 
 You got this!
 


 Red words link to previous blogs.
*I updated this video from a prior blog; it's a specific tapping you can do that anchors you in present time.
Two other helpful blogs: Healing Your Nervous System and 12 Ways to Alleviate Anxiety and Panic
 
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It’s time to talk about… The List!
 
Some of you are familiar with this technique as I’ve taught it to you, or you’ve heard variations from other people. This is one of my favorite tools when creating something new. Essentially, it’s a directive to the Universe, and your subconscious, for a creation you wish to manifest.
 
The most widely used topics for the list are a new relationship, a new career, or a new job, but really, you could write one for anything. 
 
The fastest I’ve ever seen the list work is a couple of weeks; a client was already going in for interviews and the list made it very clear which job was his actual desire. And my client knew what to ask for once he was specific in his needs because of his list. 
 
The longest I’ve seen is a couple years, but many pieces had to fall into place for that list to manifest. I think there’s something to be said for trusting the Divine timing which is why you create the list and then let it go.
 
Also, just because you’ve created your list, doesn’t mean you stop working on yourself, quite the opposite actually. You’ve made your list, now who do you need to be to receive your desires? You need to expand into the version of yourself that lives that list.
 
So, how do you do it? 
 
You may want to make a rough draft first, I always do. Start thinking about the qualities that you desire in your creation. Make notes for a few days. Write everything in present time, as if you already have it.
 
If you were to meet your ideal partner, what attributes do they have? Think about what’s important to you, what you value, and go from there. Maybe you write, in whatever pronoun works best for you, “She/He/They treat me beautifully and always listen. We have lots of fun together. They are evolved and conscientious. We love to travel together and do so often. They are kind.”
 
There are some things on your list that you may keep more general such as the quality of being kind, and other things might be quite specific. For example, a client added, “He’s good to my kids and treats them like his own.”  
 
If you’re super specific that your future mate must look a certain way and needs to have brown hair, that’s quite limiting. Go to the qualities versus the appearance. 
 
My husband is my exact list, it’s crazy! And I was pushed into it by my girlfriends, lol. But I imagined what my ideal husband would be like, and I wrote it all out. Six months later, voila. Although I will say I had been working on myself for years to be in the space to have the partner I dreamt of.
 
As for a new career or job, again, list the attributes such as, “I wake up excited to go to work every day.” Then you can also add specifics such as, “I set my own hours” or “I work 9 to 5” – this is where what’s important to you comes through as everyone will be different. You could also say things such as “I love my coworkers” and “I have unlimited vacation time.” It’s up to you how much structure and how much freedom. Some people like a lot of structure, and some people want none.
 
If it’s for a job, I recommend adding, “I now make X amount of money, or better.” Always add the “or better,” because why not get more?
 
Regarding a new career, one of my favorite stories is of a client who during her job search, was willing to branch out into another field. She knew the job would entail writing, but beyond that she was open, so she focused on the qualities she’d love in a new job. Not only did she find an amazing job in a new field that greatly interested her, but her job took her writing skills to advanced levels and opened up a new career path. Because of that shift, years later when it was time to move on, after she made her new list, she found a job that has skyrocketed her career success. And all because she was open almost 10 years ago.
 
I have another client who’s made her list regarding jobs multiple times, always elevating her career and manifesting her list. It’s so successful for her, that she’s told prior coworkers to do it. She also knew that leaving her last job was taking longer than planned (by a couple years), so even though she had her new list, she realized she wasn’t done with whatever lesson the current job held. She knew she needed to learn the lesson to let go and manifest her new list. And she did. 
 
As I said, do your internal work and trust the Divine timing.
 
 So, how to do it:
 
-Take a blank piece of paper and hand write your desires to infuse your energy in.
 
-At the top of the list write, “My ideal _____”
 
-Then list the qualities/attributes, whatever is most important to you, in present time. Write as much or as little as you desire.
 
“My husband really listens to me and loves to spend quality time together.”
“Our values are aligned. We see the world the same way.”
"We communicate like adults and can be completely honest with each other."
“My job expands my confidence in my field.”
“I am now Director of Marketing.”
“My boss respects my opinion and implements my ideas.”
“I can work from home.”
"While my work is challenging in an exciting way, when my workday is done, it's done, and I have plenty of time for myself."
Etc. etc.
 
-At the end, sign it, date it, and write, “This or better now manifests for me, in the highest and best way, for my highest and best good, with harm to none.”
 
-Then tuck it away into a safe place- only you are meant to see the list- and TRUST in the process. Let go of control, do the work necessary, and trust.
 
 
Happy Creating!!!
And share your success stories; I love them and will happily celebrate your wins!!
 

​Acceptance…
 
That’s a doozy, isn’t it?!
Sometimes it’s the absolute hardest thing to do, and yet, it’s the thing that will release you.
 
Ask yourself what you can actually be responsible for changing in yourself and your reality, and where you need to accept a person or situation for exactly as it is, versus fighting to change/fix it.
 
Like the serenity prayer: 
(Substitute “God” for Universe, Source, Divinity, Goddess- whatever speaks to you)
 
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 
The courage to change the things I can, 
And wisdom to know the difference.
 
When you stop fighting what is, and you accept it for what it is, you can find your freedom. 
 
Not what you hope it will be, not what you wish it would be, simply acceptance of what is. 
 
Yeah, I get it- easier said than done sometimes! And I’m not saying roll over in apathy or don’t work to create a different outcome. You need the discernment to know what you need to accept and what you need to change.
 
Ask yourself what color you think acceptance is. There are no wrong answers. Right now, think of what color you think acceptance is.
 
Think of a situation or person in your personal life that you’re having a really hard time accepting.
 
Imagine flowing that color into that situation or person.
 
You’re not flowing it to change them, because they may not change. You’re flowing it to change your perception of them and where the lack of acceptance is holding you prisoner in your reality.
 
Once that’s complete, ask yourself what you most need, beyond acceptance. Maybe it’s rest, maybe it’s creative time, maybe it’s being out in nature or exercising, or maybe, it’s the strength and courage to take action to heal the situation or relationship. 
 
After all, nothing changes until you do. Accept that.
 
 
 
 

I was at a very loud and overly crowded event the other night that didn’t have food I could eat, which wasn’t a good thing when I was already hangry. 
 
It made me think: remember when you were little, and you’d have a meltdown if you were overly tired, hungry, or stimulated? The same happens now to our nervous systems but we ignore them or push ourselves harder, sometimes subbing caffeine or sugar for sustenance and sleep. We think our bodies should be able to handle it. But all that behavior does, is separate us from ourselves and rev up our bodies, sending them into consistent fight or flight. No wonder many people deal with adrenal fatigue or burnt-out energy systems.
 
So, how to help your nervous system when it’s overstimulated? Well, if you realize you’re somewhere that’s too much, do what I did and leave. Get yourself proper nourishment and then do some energy clearing:
 
1st- Breathe. Come back to yourself. Spending time deep breathing and connecting to your body will instantly start the calm.
 
2nd- Clear the energy. You know I love the Archangel Michael prayer (here) and definitely separate out energy. Make sure you call your energy back to your body, give back what you took on, and energetically disconnect from the night. Either imagine closing the door on it or visualize unhooking from it, seeing yourself drop the hook out of your space. Do something to signify the evening is done
 
3rd- Ground yourself. You need to be in your body so that your nervous system stops panicking that you’ve left it. Sit on a chair/couch. Put your attention on and feel your feet on the ground. Breathe with your focus on your feet. Slowly move your attention up and feel the backs of your legs on the chair, being supported by the chair. Breathe and sink into your legs. When you're ready, slowly move your attention higher and feel your back resting against the chair/couch. Let your whole body relax, being held and supported by that chair/couch. Allow the energy of gravity to pull your personal energy lower, thus enveloping you in a slower frequency in which you can commune with yourself and release any frenetic energy. Imagine it dropping out of your body and energy field.
 
Creating a grounding cord thus connecting to the core of earth, and running earth energy will take it a step further if you desire (reminder here).
 
4th- Imagine a beautiful blue, like the ocean or a waterfall, pouring down your spine, calming all your nerves and your entire nervous system. Allow this peaceful blue to continue streaming in while grounding and breathing. You can even imagine that blue sweeping out anything that’s not yours, sending it down that grounding cord and into the planet to be neutralized. Expand the blue to move throughout your whole body, not just your nervous system. Then imagine the blue filling your aura as well. Be cocooned in soothing blue energy.
 
Do this until you settle down, feel present, and at peace. Then imagine above your head, a gentle rain of warm golden light coming in to fill, balance, and heal you. 
 
Once everything is complete, make sure you don’t pick up any devices or go online; that could knock you out again. Stay in quiet peace, reading a book, taking a bath or a shower, or going to bed.
 
Know when you’ve hit your limit and nurture your body versus chastise or push it. Treat it with compassion. The more you do, the more your body and subconscious understand that your body is your ally, thus the more self-love that’s generated.