The holiday season can bring up a lot!
 
For those without family or who are feeling isolated and alone, make sure that you do something nice for yourself; whatever that means to you. It can be extremely painful right now so any kindness you show yourself can go a long way.
 
For those who will be with families and are worried about family dynamics, refer to the last blog and start shifting the energy with forgiveness now. The other thing to do, is to set yourself up for success before you see family.

Steps to Success:
 
-Acknowledge that yes, your feelings are valid, AND your family may never be able to hear or see you in present time. They may be stuck in the past, but you don’t need to be. Don’t revert back to child or adolescent behaviors. Hear what thoughts and beliefs come up in your mind and change them in the now. Your family is not the boss of your reality creation, YOU ARE!
 
-Process your feelings and emotions when you're on your own, and give yourself what you need, versus expecting it to come externally from your family.
 
-Take your power back, especially if you tend to surrender it to your parents or other family members.
 
-Watch your expectations. Do not visualize worst-case scenarios. Choose what you want to see. Keep choosing to see peace or harmony. Don't let the part of your mind that goes negative rule the show. Create a positive outcome. You have the power of thought and the power of choice, never forget that!
 
-In that vein, acknowledge and release your negative ego before you walk in the door so that you don't fall into old patterns of victimhood or blame. Silence that negative voice and banish it to the outside. Release what you can of any shame, need to control, need for perfection, rage, self-pity, and martyr ahead of time. 

-Boundaries are key. Don't surrender your energy to another; hold your energy around you. Put yourself in a protective energy bubble of gold or violet light. Emotionally, if someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer or that makes you uncomfortable, change the subject or say, “Why do you ask?” or “I prefer not to discuss that.” It’s OK to say “No,” literally or figuratively.

 Immediately before seeing anyone:
 
-Ground yourself and get yourself in present time* and rooted into your body because family can spin you out. This is the best thing you can do to create an empowered experience.
 
-Remind yourself that you are safe. You, present time adult you, creates safety. Don’t give that power away externally. If it feels awful with family and truly isn’t a safe place, leave! You've got to remember your needs, especially if you're under any sort of duress. You have to take care of yourself and put that oxygen mask on first.
 
Now, that doesn’t give you an excuse to match their behavior and act badly. Release any righteousness or desire to punish. BE the adult.
 
Which means:
 
-If you're getting triggered, leave the room. Excuse yourself and go breathe. If everyone else is melting down, you don't need to join. You're human so you may fall into old patterns of behavior; that's OK!! Forgive yourself and course correct.
 
And if you do all the above and it still goes sideways, try not to dive bomb. Sometimes energy and experiences shift immediately, and sometimes it takes time. Just keep doing your best to stay empowered in present time.
 
 Afterwards:
 
-Separate out energy! Give them back their energy and call yours back to you.
 
-Ground again. Whether you got triggered or not, get yourself back into your body in the now. Release any mental chatter. Imagine closing the door on all conversations from the night.
 
 
Be compassionate with yourself; it starts with you.
 
 You got this!
 


 Red words link to previous blogs.
*I updated this video from a prior blog; it's a specific tapping you can do that anchors you in present time.
Two other helpful blogs: Healing Your Nervous System and 12 Ways to Alleviate Anxiety and Panic
 
​

It’s time to talk about… The List!
 
Some of you are familiar with this technique as I’ve taught it to you, or you’ve heard variations from other people. This is one of my favorite tools when creating something new. Essentially, it’s a directive to the Universe, and your subconscious, for a creation you wish to manifest.
 
The most widely used topics for the list are a new relationship, a new career, or a new job, but really, you could write one for anything. 
 
The fastest I’ve ever seen the list work is a couple of weeks; a client was already going in for interviews and the list made it very clear which job was his actual desire. And my client knew what to ask for once he was specific in his needs because of his list. 
 
The longest I’ve seen is a couple years, but many pieces had to fall into place for that list to manifest. I think there’s something to be said for trusting the Divine timing which is why you create the list and then let it go.
 
Also, just because you’ve created your list, doesn’t mean you stop working on yourself, quite the opposite actually. You’ve made your list, now who do you need to be to receive your desires? You need to expand into the version of yourself that lives that list.
 
So, how do you do it? 
 
You may want to make a rough draft first, I always do. Start thinking about the qualities that you desire in your creation. Make notes for a few days. Write everything in present time, as if you already have it.
 
If you were to meet your ideal partner, what attributes do they have? Think about what’s important to you, what you value, and go from there. Maybe you write, in whatever pronoun works best for you, “She/He/They treat me beautifully and always listen. We have lots of fun together. They are evolved and conscientious. We love to travel together and do so often. They are kind.”
 
There are some things on your list that you may keep more general such as the quality of being kind, and other things might be quite specific. For example, a client added, “He’s good to my kids and treats them like his own.”  
 
If you’re super specific that your future mate must look a certain way and needs to have brown hair, that’s quite limiting. Go to the qualities versus the appearance. 
 
My husband is my exact list, it’s crazy! And I was pushed into it by my girlfriends, lol. But I imagined what my ideal husband would be like, and I wrote it all out. Six months later, voila. Although I will say I had been working on myself for years to be in the space to have the partner I dreamt of.
 
As for a new career or job, again, list the attributes such as, “I wake up excited to go to work every day.” Then you can also add specifics such as, “I set my own hours” or “I work 9 to 5” – this is where what’s important to you comes through as everyone will be different. You could also say things such as “I love my coworkers” and “I have unlimited vacation time.” It’s up to you how much structure and how much freedom. Some people like a lot of structure, and some people want none.
 
If it’s for a job, I recommend adding, “I now make X amount of money, or better.” Always add the “or better,” because why not get more?
 
Regarding a new career, one of my favorite stories is of a client who during her job search, was willing to branch out into another field. She knew the job would entail writing, but beyond that she was open, so she focused on the qualities she’d love in a new job. Not only did she find an amazing job in a new field that greatly interested her, but her job took her writing skills to advanced levels and opened up a new career path. Because of that shift, years later when it was time to move on, after she made her new list, she found a job that has skyrocketed her career success. And all because she was open almost 10 years ago.
 
I have another client who’s made her list regarding jobs multiple times, always elevating her career and manifesting her list. It’s so successful for her, that she’s told prior coworkers to do it. She also knew that leaving her last job was taking longer than planned (by a couple years), so even though she had her new list, she realized she wasn’t done with whatever lesson the current job held. She knew she needed to learn the lesson to let go and manifest her new list. And she did. 
 
As I said, do your internal work and trust the Divine timing.
 
 So, how to do it:
 
-Take a blank piece of paper and hand write your desires to infuse your energy in.
 
-At the top of the list write, “My ideal _____”
 
-Then list the qualities/attributes, whatever is most important to you, in present time. Write as much or as little as you desire.
 
“My husband really listens to me and loves to spend quality time together.”
“Our values are aligned. We see the world the same way.”
"We communicate like adults and can be completely honest with each other."
“My job expands my confidence in my field.”
“I am now Director of Marketing.”
“My boss respects my opinion and implements my ideas.”
“I can work from home.”
"While my work is challenging in an exciting way, when my workday is done, it's done, and I have plenty of time for myself."
Etc. etc.
 
-At the end, sign it, date it, and write, “This or better now manifests for me, in the highest and best way, for my highest and best good, with harm to none.”
 
-Then tuck it away into a safe place- only you are meant to see the list- and TRUST in the process. Let go of control, do the work necessary, and trust.
 
 
Happy Creating!!!
And share your success stories; I love them and will happily celebrate your wins!!
 

​Acceptance…
 
That’s a doozy, isn’t it?!
Sometimes it’s the absolute hardest thing to do, and yet, it’s the thing that will release you.
 
Ask yourself what you can actually be responsible for changing in yourself and your reality, and where you need to accept a person or situation for exactly as it is, versus fighting to change/fix it.
 
Like the serenity prayer: 
(Substitute “God” for Universe, Source, Divinity, Goddess- whatever speaks to you)
 
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 
The courage to change the things I can, 
And wisdom to know the difference.
 
When you stop fighting what is, and you accept it for what it is, you can find your freedom. 
 
Not what you hope it will be, not what you wish it would be, simply acceptance of what is. 
 
Yeah, I get it- easier said than done sometimes! And I’m not saying roll over in apathy or don’t work to create a different outcome. You need the discernment to know what you need to accept and what you need to change.
 
Ask yourself what color you think acceptance is. There are no wrong answers. Right now, think of what color you think acceptance is.
 
Think of a situation or person in your personal life that you’re having a really hard time accepting.
 
Imagine flowing that color into that situation or person.
 
You’re not flowing it to change them, because they may not change. You’re flowing it to change your perception of them and where the lack of acceptance is holding you prisoner in your reality.
 
Once that’s complete, ask yourself what you most need, beyond acceptance. Maybe it’s rest, maybe it’s creative time, maybe it’s being out in nature or exercising, or maybe, it’s the strength and courage to take action to heal the situation or relationship. 
 
After all, nothing changes until you do. Accept that.
 
 
 
 

I was at a very loud and overly crowded event the other night that didn’t have food I could eat, which wasn’t a good thing when I was already hangry. 
 
It made me think: remember when you were little, and you’d have a meltdown if you were overly tired, hungry, or stimulated? The same happens now to our nervous systems but we ignore them or push ourselves harder, sometimes subbing caffeine or sugar for sustenance and sleep. We think our bodies should be able to handle it. But all that behavior does, is separate us from ourselves and rev up our bodies, sending them into consistent fight or flight. No wonder many people deal with adrenal fatigue or burnt-out energy systems.
 
So, how to help your nervous system when it’s overstimulated? Well, if you realize you’re somewhere that’s too much, do what I did and leave. Get yourself proper nourishment and then do some energy clearing:
 
1st- Breathe. Come back to yourself. Spending time deep breathing and connecting to your body will instantly start the calm.
 
2nd- Clear the energy. You know I love the Archangel Michael prayer (here) and definitely separate out energy. Make sure you call your energy back to your body, give back what you took on, and energetically disconnect from the night. Either imagine closing the door on it or visualize unhooking from it, seeing yourself drop the hook out of your space. Do something to signify the evening is done
 
3rd- Ground yourself. You need to be in your body so that your nervous system stops panicking that you’ve left it. Sit on a chair/couch. Put your attention on and feel your feet on the ground. Breathe with your focus on your feet. Slowly move your attention up and feel the backs of your legs on the chair, being supported by the chair. Breathe and sink into your legs. When you're ready, slowly move your attention higher and feel your back resting against the chair/couch. Let your whole body relax, being held and supported by that chair/couch. Allow the energy of gravity to pull your personal energy lower, thus enveloping you in a slower frequency in which you can commune with yourself and release any frenetic energy. Imagine it dropping out of your body and energy field.
 
Creating a grounding cord thus connecting to the core of earth, and running earth energy will take it a step further if you desire (reminder here).
 
4th- Imagine a beautiful blue, like the ocean or a waterfall, pouring down your spine, calming all your nerves and your entire nervous system. Allow this peaceful blue to continue streaming in while grounding and breathing. You can even imagine that blue sweeping out anything that’s not yours, sending it down that grounding cord and into the planet to be neutralized. Expand the blue to move throughout your whole body, not just your nervous system. Then imagine the blue filling your aura as well. Be cocooned in soothing blue energy.
 
Do this until you settle down, feel present, and at peace. Then imagine above your head, a gentle rain of warm golden light coming in to fill, balance, and heal you. 
 
Once everything is complete, make sure you don’t pick up any devices or go online; that could knock you out again. Stay in quiet peace, reading a book, taking a bath or a shower, or going to bed.
 
Know when you’ve hit your limit and nurture your body versus chastise or push it. Treat it with compassion. The more you do, the more your body and subconscious understand that your body is your ally, thus the more self-love that’s generated. 
 
 

Are you doubting your abilities and if you’re good enough? You’re not alone. Doubt is the biggest killer of dreams.
 
Doubt will have you creating stories of fear and telling yourself why it’s better to just stay in the shadows, “Don’t put yourself out there, people might laugh or worse, ignore you.”
 
If you’re already fearful, the idea of complete humiliation or total dismissal is enough to keep you in procrastination or avoidance.
 
But the world does need you. It needs your insights, your perspective, and your wisdom.
 
“Who me?” You might ask? Yes you. You reading this. 
 
Doubt can block you from speaking up at work, in a relationship, in taking action towards your dreams, or in your creative expression. No area is immune.
 
Let’s confront your doubt, which really is an aspect of your fear…

  ~                                                                                 
 
Imagine a beautiful bubble of purple/violet light surrounding you to hold you in a safe space.
 
Either close your eyes and put yourself in a calm, meditative space (obviously you’ll need to peek at the prompts below) or grab a journal to write both sides of the conversation. Invite the personification of your Doubt - or your Fear behind it - forward to speak. If you’re in a meditative space, you may see it as a version of you or as a color or shape. Be open to how it appears and don’t anticipate the outcome because it may look like a color you love. That’s a clue as to how it hides and seduces you into listening. If you're writing, let the words from Doubt/Fear flow, without editing what it's saying.
 
Once you see it or sense it’s presence, welcome it and tell it you’d like to dialogue. It’ll only be too happy to speak.
 
Ask it, “What’s the worst thing that could happen if I pursue X and put myself out there?”
 
Then listen to the response, even if it’s awful. Doubt/Fear may give you a concise answer or it may have a litany of terrible scenarios.
 
Once Doubt/Fear is done speaking, say, “I hear you, but what else could happen? What’s below what you spoke of?” 
 
Doubt/Fear may still be upset and ramble, or it’ll get quiet and whisper. Keep asking what’s below until you get to the core wound.
 
How do you find the core wound? Here’s an example:
 
Let’s say in the first inquiry, Doubt/Fear says you’re not smart enough and gives you details of all the ways you’ll be made fun of. When you ask, “What’s below that?” Maybe it’s fear of humiliation and judgment. What’s below that? Maybe it’s a fear of being ostracized. Below that? Fear of abandonment. Below that? Maybe the core is fear of being alone.

Now for someone else, maybe the core is the humiliation, so that person doesn’t need to dig further. 

I've summarized these fears into easy to understand sentences, but you may have to interpret the words/feelings because it may not be so overt.
 
​Go until you feel the truth in your gut. Until you remember when you put yourself out there and something bad happened. Or maybe you saw it happen to someone else and decided you’d never put yourself in that same situation. Maybe it’s a limit one of your parents had. Regardless of whether it’s yours or another’s, find the deep root truth. 
 
Once you know your truth, then you can set about changing that belief system. Write out a quick summary of the responses you got on a blank piece of loose-leaf paper, going to the core wound. When it's complete, call your energy and power back from the list; imagine yourself getting stronger/bigger energetically. 
 
Next, if it’s tied to a specific event or person, jot down the event or person on the same piece of paper. 
 
In your mind, imagine erasing the event/events that lead to this core Doubt/Fear. Take your magic eraser and tell your subconscious that you’re erasing the negative impact from that event(s). Feel even more of your energy coming back to you in present time as you do. If there’s no event you know of, no worries, skip that part and focus on the core wound.
 
Now, cross out everything you’ve written and write “VOID” across it in big letters. Then tear it up and either burn it or throw it away, thus showing your subconscious that you’re done with it. 
 
Once that’s complete, write the opposite of the core wound on a clean piece of paper, the new belief you choose to have instead. Using the example above, you could write, "The more I pursue X, the more love and community there is in my life."

​Find what new belief would excite and engage you. Maybe write it with a colored pen or on a beautiful piece of paper. Write it large! Then read it daily with feeling, until it sinks in and becomes your new reality. 
 
  ~                                                                                       

It’s time to regain your light, your creative expression, your vision. It doesn’t have to be grand, but it does matter because it’s your desire. Our desires were given to us because we have the capability to bring them into being. They’re not there to torture us as something unattainable. So start small; gather your courage. Your courage to pursue that which could augment your life and bring you more joy- from a creative project to a promotion, to a healthier relationship. Do it for you. 
 
Because you can’t control how others will respond, but if you can imagine the pursuit of what you want to bring forth to be of infinite value, you will have good ammo to tell Doubt/Fear, “Not today, thank you.”
 
Then show Doubt/Fear the door.


​

The first few years of planting a vegetable garden after going through miscarriages and infertility, I was an emotional wreck if anything happened to my plants. I would meltdown in fury or grief if a plant died or got sick or didn’t grow correctly. If there were insects eating my plants, I would go into a violent rage. It was all because the garden couldn’t just be a garden; I made the garden a symbol for my ability/inability to create life. 
 
I would go quite dark during the times my garden was having issues; I was not fun to be around. I wasn’t able to allow the garden to simply be, I tried to control it in order to heal my own pain.
 
Anyone who gardens knows that there’s only so much you can do. You hope for a great crop, but some things are out of your control, and you need to go with the flow. 
 
Flow I could not do. I created an image in my mind of what it would mean about me as a person if I had a thriving, abundant garden. Anything less than that meant I was a personal failure.
 
I bring this up today because it came up a in few sessions this past week; taking a neutral item and giving it tremendous symbolism, so much so that it’s very existence, or lack thereof, defined a person’s value and worth.
 
Is that fair? No. Do we all do it sometimes? Yes.
 
So, how do you heal this? 
 
First, recognition is key; you can’t heal what you’re unaware of. 
 
Next, you need to untangle the negative associations between you and what it symbolizes. Release the meaning; allow the item to simply “be” without your added input. This is a hard step because you really need to separate out all implications and significance around the item and instead, look within to see what you need to heal. Sometimes it’s easier to point the blame/upset outward than acknowledge and release the torrent of emotions within. But they won’t go away until they’re released, which means facing them. 
 
It’s up to you how you do that: you can work them out with a professional, you can journal them, or speak them out. Whatever your method, give them voice, even if it’s scary. 
 
I spent so much time in rage bubbles (method here) during those years, but I refused to release the symbology. That’s the next step: disengage. The thing that happened needs healing, and the item is neutral. They aren’t combined. The plant your loved one gave you that you killed doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person who doesn’t deserve love. That city you love can be a joyous place to visit, versus it being a symbol of love lost. That house can be redesigned and updated, instead of a constant reminder of past pain.
 
You disengage by imagining the item before you becoming devoid of your energy and power; call it all back to you. Then fill it, and yourself, with pure golden light. Again, see it as separate from you, not part of, or attached to you.
 
It may take repeated times of allowing the item its energy and calling yours back to you. Don’t give up, do it as often as you need.
 
If it’s too intense, don’t participate in, or go to the place that holds the symbol. I probably shouldn’t have created a vegetable garden year after year, instead letting myself grieve and heal without added pressure. Alas, hindsight…
 
Release all those old symbols and own a new level of personal power by allowing things to simply be, without the emotional baggage. Give yourself the healing and freedom you desire and deserve.

​
 

I’ve heard from so many of you that last week was intense and emotions were high. Not only for you personally, but from what you were witnessing in others.
 
Since you cannot change others, sometimes you need to just walk away and breathe. Don’t engage crazy (see previous blog); take the high road. And when it comes to you, be cognizant of your own emotions. 
 
The only way through an emotion is to feel it. Fully. Don’t judge it, nor try to bury or deny it. Sink into the feeling of it, no matter how uncomfortable, and express it. Ideally to yourself through speaking it or journaling it, or simply being with it. You will release it by allowing it. 
 
Whatever you do, don’t take it out on others by venting or dumping it on them; be responsible with your feelings. If you need to talk it out with another, then do so to understand the emotion, not to simply purge it into another’s space.
 
Recognize that the emotion may not feel rational because it may not be in present time; maybe it’s been repressed and is now coming to the surface to be released. If it feels that way, ask the emotion where it comes from and then sit quietly and be open to any images or flashes of insight from your subconscious. A full memory may surface, or snippets of awareness.
 
If it’s from a painful time, again, don’t try to shove it back down and repress it. If you really don’t want to keep feeling it, you need to accept it. For example, while breathing it out say, “I accept I feel incredible fury because of X. I honor this fury and release it now with every exhale. I choose my freedom and inner peace in its place.”

Imagine the emotion as a color that you exhale out from your whole body, specifically the places it’s been trapped, and then see the energies you want in its place- in the example above, freedom and inner peace- as a color and breath those in. If you don’t know where it sits in your body, that’s fine. Don’t get in your head with it, just accept and release it. If you resist it, it’ll be like glue in your space.

​You may need to repeat that multiple times until the emotion dissipates and transforms.
 
Also be aware that there’s a difference between, for example, anger, rage, fury, and hostility, just like there’s a difference between sadness, grief, disappointment, and despair etc. Sometimes anger is simply anger and sometimes it’s really i.e., vengeance. The more you can call out the exact truth of the emotion versus just blanket words such as anger and sadness, the easier it is to release it down to its core. 
 
If you need, look up synonyms for the main feeling and see which resonates as the real emotion.
 
Remember as well, grounding yourself is key when emotions and chaos are high. Yes I’m a broken record, but earth energy and connecting to the planet can transmute emotional intensity. Think of the energies right now like a tornado; it’s easy to get swept up in them. You can either be flying around, feeling out of sorts, crabby and tired, or you could be grounded, in your body, and feeling the tornado as simply a light breeze blowing past. Grounding will help prevent you from short circuiting due to emotional overload.
 
The more you can honor the truth of your experience, the easier it’ll be to transform it into something lighter. Remember, feeling the emotion is key. You don’t need to stay with it or wallow in it, but do feel it fully in order to move through to the other side, where freedom and beauty awaits.
 
 

For some of you, what I’m going to talk about will make total sense, and for others, it’s a non-issue. It’s been coming up quite often in sessions, which is always a sign for me to write about it in case more of you are feeling this same way.
 
Some of you love social media; it helps you thrive and that’s great. If it’s your favorite, go for it! This blog is not for you. This is for those who feel worse after being on it. Who feel anxious, off center, can’t disconnect from their apps, and who start to go into the dark places within themselves.

I occasionally go on social media, but very rarely on Facebook. I noticed years ago that I would get severe anxiety if I was on Facebook for more than five minutes. I could feel the energy impacting my solar plexus (3rd chakra). What I started to observe, is that there’s something in the energetics of that particular platform that are designed to both hook into someone’s space, and knock out their grounding, so that they stay engaged. Some people are immune to it, and some people are affected without even realizing it. 
 
If you do decide to go on social media (and especially those of you prone to anxiety), before you open that app, center your energy inside yourself and put a violet shield around your space to help you have boundaries. Once you’ve been on and are done, you’ll want your energy back/cleared and here’s what can help:
 
1: Separate out your energy from whatever platform you were on and call your energy back (see resources page). Do this with the overall platform as well as any individuals who triggered you. And if you were incredibly triggered or started down the rabbit hole of comparisons, take your power back from those individuals and remind yourself, “I am good enough. My path and my timing are my own.” 

You may also need to take your power back from your own negative ego and inner critic. Silence them and stand in the power pose to remember your worth.
 
2: Visualize removing the psychic hook between you and the app you were on. See/imagine that hook and literally use your hand to actively unhook yourself. As you hold the hook in your hand, away from your body, watch it dissolve. As it dissolves it breaks the connection between you and what you were attached to, freeing you. 
 
3: Imagine closing and locking the door between you and that platform. You can close it gently or slam it shut; whatever will help you disengage. You can take it a step further and erase the door. That’s one of my favorite techniques to do in any situation where there’s been too much of an energy exchange. It gives a clear message to the subconscious.

 4: Ground yourself. If you’re feeling especially out of sorts, run earth energy. 
 
5: Fill yourself with your own sparkly life force energy or with Divine light. 
 
 
Beyond social media, at the end of the day you can also disconnect from all devices. I take my imaginary scissors and cut the cords between me and both my phone and computer. I either run them up the front of my body or go specifically to where I feel the energy drain. If you’re on your device all day, that frequency can jack you up or deplete you. Run some earth energy, even just in your feet.
 
Don’t give your power away to your devices or to any platforms. Do the above to help and if you still feel off and it’s important/necessary to be on your devices and certain platforms, then train your subconscious, “I am immune to the negative energies and electromagnetics here.”  State that over and over until you feel your boundaries getting stronger. 
 
Your energy is precious; make sure it stays in you. 

​


* Red highlighted words are linked to previous blogs

​We all have many different aspects of ourselves: the inner child, negative ego, inner adolescent, the critic, the conscious adult, the inner coach, etc. - who’s driving your bus? Is it the conscious adult aware you? Or have you given the wheel to someone else in the list above? Are they running roughshod through your life, smacking into buildings and ripping up gardens, or are you driving on course with purpose, focus, and empowerment?

An element of taking responsibility for your life is recognizing which part of you is responding, and thus driving the bus, in every given moment.  Only you can bring yourself into present time and respond as an adult. 
 
If you’re stuck in blame- still blaming mom and dad, blaming your circumstances, blaming others -you are not in your conscious adult; you have let your inner child or adolescent run the show. If you want to be treated like an adult and respected as an adult, you need to take your power back from those parts.
 
You are not a victim to any aspect of your life. This can be hard to realize, but if you’re stuck in blaming, there’s a part of you unwilling to take responsibility. However, you always have a choice as to how you respond, and you can choose differently. Daily, even hourly, you can make different choices that are empowering. That release the past and help you focus on the future.

Over a decade ago, I got completely triggered by something someone asked of me. I could tell my inner child was amping up with a vengeance because she was furious with the options presented. I paused the conversation with a brief, “Give me a moment,” excused myself, went into the bathroom, and threw a quiet temper tantrum with silent screaming for a minute or two, getting out all the stuck emotions. I gave my inner child full permission to vent all the reasons she was melting down. When she was done, I moved her aside, pulled myself together, tapped into my power, and came out of the bathroom to handle the situation like an adult. That technique worked so well, that I still use it as needed. And ironically, I was in a class last week and the teacher spoke of almost the exact same technique. So clearly others got the same idea I did and have put it into play. 
 
The key is to really go to town and stomp your feet etc., releasing everything negative your inner child, adolescent, or ego feel. Then come back out of the bathroom/room and calmly respond to the situation at hand. If you need more processing than a two-minute tantrum, then tell the other person you need to sit with what they said and walk away to work through the issue. This also is true of emails or texts- don’t respond out of emotional reactivity!

​Have adult you take the wheel. Your life is precious. Stop wasting it allowing the past to control and dictate your behavior; take conscious responsibility and choose how to spend your time and energy. The choice is yours. 

​I’ve taught this to many of you over the years, but lately it’s been coming up more often, so I figured I would put it out there for everyone.
 
This is a technique to help you own a new space- house, apartment, or temporary living situation- by infusing it your energy. When you claim a space as yours, it helps you to feel more grounded and safe within that space. It will also help you settle in much more quickly. And even though I said it's for a "new" space, you can use it for your current one, especially if you've never felt settled there.

I once had a client use this technique in a theatre where she was performing. It helped her be more present and comfortable on stage. So while it's usually used for a living situation, feel free to get creative as you need.
 
Here’s how you do it:
 
First, walk around the space and notice the layout: all the corners in all rooms and each room’s general shape. When you can visualize that clearly, then either literally or figuratively, depending on if it's possible, stand wherever the center of the house or apartment etc. is.
 
Starting in whichever room you want, begin to imagine golden cords of light, like a rope, streaming towards you from each upper corner of that room, down and into your dominant hand. Then imagine ropes/cords of light coming from every bottom corner of that same room, and into your dominant hand. When you’ve finished one room, move on to the next, all the while staying stationary in the approximate center of the house. As you gather the cords, it should look as if you’re holding strings from a huge bunch of balloons. 
 
As you practice and get better at this technique, it becomes easier to stand in the center of the house and imagine these cords coming to you. However, if you’re in a space with many odd shaped rooms and the way I described seems too hard, you can also do the technique in one room at a time, gathering your cords, while walking from room to room. For some, this is a preferred method in that as you walk the space, you really see the outline of the house/apartment and are able to inhabit it more fully. ​After you've been in every room, while holding your bunch of cords, then move to the center of the overall space. 
 
Once you have all the cords gathered in your hand, with complete authority and ownership claim, “my space!” and lift your hand and slam those cords down into the center of the planet. Imagine them going all the way down to the core of the planet and rooting/anchoring in. Let go of the cords. 

Now imagine/visualize a golden light emanating from each corner of the whole house/apartment, expanding out to create a ball of light around the outside of the overall space.
 
Your energy is now able to fill the rooms and the entire space. If you’re in an apartment building, only do this for your apartment, not the whole building. Let the ball surrounding the space only surround your apartment.
 
If you live with others, when it comes time to claim the space, claim it in the name of each of you. Even though you’re doing the visualizing, before grounding those cords say, “I claim this space in my name and the name(s) of…”  If you don’t add them in, generally it’s not an issue, but sometimes your energy can become so dominant in the space, that the others who live there will feel squished and irritable without knowing why. So be respectful.

May this bring increased harmony to your living situation!