Typically, I like to understand why I’m feeling the way I am such as, “Why am I in a bad mood? What got triggered? Where does this feeling come from?”
But part of what I've been working on, is how to simply be with whatever is occurring, without diving into the details. Staying in my body, rather than spinning in mental thoughts.
That can be difficult. But I also realize that it’s a hook. Needing to know and understand hooks me back into the story or the wound or the emotional trauma that’s surfacing, thus taking me out of the present moment. It’s a way to think the emotion, versus feel it.
I had to put this into play when I unexpectedly felt intense anger the other night. It was so out of the blue and had nothing to do with what was going on. I knew that an old wound must have inadvertently gotten opened because it felt so out of present time. All I could do was be with it.
-First, I made sure to be responsible with my anger, which meant going somewhere private, so I didn’t negatively impact those around me. I acknowledged, allowed, and felt the anger fully, without judgment.
-Then I grounded myself in present time. I also stated my name, the date, and the time out loud, which is an easy way to pull yourself into the now.
-Finally, I sent myself love. I loved myself even though I was triggered. I loved all the parts of me that were clearly upset. I opened my heart for self-compassion and kept bringing myself into the present moment, while acknowledging that I was safe.
The more I did that, the calmer I got, and the more the emotion dissipated.
I still don't know what triggered the anger, and I consciously chose not to “figure it out.” I've been working to neutralize old pain, versus stir it back up by reiterating an old story. It has no bearing on my present unless I allow it to, nor is it something I want to continue creating in my future. Therefore, releasing the layers as they surface, and choosing to experience more peace instead.
Remember, your power lies in your body, in present time. Not in the mental spin. Be free of the past by staying in the present.
I was “supposed to” send out my blog last week, but I was extremely wiped out and needed a day to completely decompress. I had most of it written, but the thought of editing was just one thing too many. It felt wonderful giving myself permission to put myself first. And simultaneously, there was that little nagging voice later in the day that said I “should” follow through with my commitments.
But isn’t my commitment to my well-being the priority? I think so.
Luckily, I’m familiar with, and have worked on the “doing” voice, so I didn’t allow it to take over. I dismissed it into silence by proclaiming with authority that my sanity comes first. Plus, since I created the schedule, I could alter it. I owned my choice in a calm, but empowered voice, that ended all further discussion.
The voice of “doing” can be loud or subtle. It’s the voice that says what you’re doing isn’t enough, you have to do more, and that your value is based on what you accomplish. Or it may say people are counting on you and you can’t let them down. It will find whatever excuse or guilt is needed to keep you in motion and agreeing to commitments when really, you need to stop and allow yourself breathing room.
It’s part of our culture; the “go, go, go” energy that is valued and prized. However, that “busy” energy keeps you from being present and in the moment, as well as preventing you from slowing down and creating balance.
A more insidious example is that I used to love multitasking. I felt pride at how many things I could “do” simultaneously. Then I started getting even more grounded than I used to be. The more grounded I was, the more I realized that multitasking wasn’t serving me.
It didn’t feel good as having my focus in multiple places would rev up my energy and amp me out of my body. Plus, when my focus was fractured, I would sometimes feel like I was missing something that was said, which I was. The biggest lightbulb for me though, was realizing how draining multitasking can be. It’s not just singular “doing,” it’s “doing” on steroids.
Part of the reason it’s draining, besides knocking you out of your body, is it's like when you have too many windows open on your computer. The computer can't run at its optimal level because it's got all these open files pulling at the battery and depleting it. Whereas if you've only got one window open, your computer can focus there while keeping most of the battery intact.
Notice if you have too many files open. Too many places that gather your attention. You don’t need to know what they are, but you can ask to close them down.
Ask your conscious mind to close all files running. Then ground yourself and focus on the task at hand.
There’s tremendous power in being present with one task at a time. Plus, then you become aware more easily of when you’ve reached your limit and need to just “be” for a while. Which is ultimately an act of self-love.
I’m glad I took the extra time off for myself. I came back from my decompression time more alert and energized, looking at everything from a new perspective, and with much more flow. Give yourself that gift as often as you need.
There’s nothing wrong with slowing down and simply being. In fact, it’s necessary.
You're not awful/selfish if you take care of yourself first before helping others. You are the priority and as such, you need to put the oxygen mask on first.
Your value does not lie in what you produce and achieve. Your value lies in who you are in your heart. Who you are as a soul.
Do not compare your path to that of others. Your timing is unique to you.
You are good enough, you are worthy, and you matter.
It’s necessary to have fun, it’s not frivolous. Do more of what feels good and makes you happy.
In today’s busy world, how often do you stop to just be? Stopping all doing and just… be; be present, be in the moment, be still, be. For most of us, the answer is rarely, for some, never. Yet there is immense power in being. For one thing, it brings you into present time, into the now. That’s where your power lies, as does your ability to manifest. It can also activate or enhance your imagination. All creation begins in your imagination. If you allow yourself to just be, this area can get stimulated, leading to greater clarity and wisdom for when you eventually do.
One of the greatest obstacles to being is the lack of value society has given to it. All value is placed on what you did, what you accomplished, how much you got done. But without the balance of being in all that doing, you can get overwhelmed or burnt out. Being is necessary for sanity and peace. It can be difficult for people to understand, who want to know how to do being; “ok, I’ll just be. But how do I do that?” We’re conditioned to go, go go.
If you are willing, stop for a moment and just breathe. Notice your body, notice your breath. Maybe go to the beach and stare at the waves or the sunset. Or sit outside and watch the trees move in the wind, or the hummingbird as it flits from flower to flower. If you want to get super crazy with it, spend hours just daydreaming; staring at the clouds or off into space, just imagining. Can you do that? Can you give yourself that gift of beingness? The rewards will be extraordinary if you can. Because in that state of being, you align yourself with the more of you, and with your dreams, desires, and wishes. It is from that yin state of being that you can more easily receive the answers you are looking for, as well as the way to move forward.
So the next time you’re stumped as to your next step or why something keeps occurring, and especially when you’re overloaded, stop, take a breath, disengage with the doing and enter the being. Allow your Soul that quiet space to speak to you. From here, once you’re ready, you’ll be able to re-engage the world with confidence, and clarity.
Me, Tina Germain, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!