Ahhhh the holidays are upon us. This can elicit joy or dread, overwhelm or excitement- or anything in between!
Be extra gentle with yourself if you are in the chaos of the season. Ground yourself daily. Stay in present time. Beware of distractions that want to knock you off course. Make lists of to-dos and prioritize those lists and then stay focused as you accomplish them, one task at a time. Don’t overcommit or try to do it all. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Give from the heart, not the wallet. Most of all, trust that you’re enough and what you’ve done is enough. If something doesn’t work, it’s not the end of the world. Mistakes and accidents happen, cut yourself slack and be present to what’s actually happening in front of you versus your ideal vision of how it’s supposed to be. At the end of the day, people remember heart felt conversations and being together way more than if the meat was over cooked and the napkins didn’t match. Breathe and allow.
If you get triggered by family, excuse yourself and use the bathroom. Take deep breaths in there. Deep belly breaths through the nose. Remember what they’re saying is about them and not about you. People speak through their projections, and sometimes family cannot see the truth of you and who you are now, they see you in a past version. Let it be a reflection on them, not on you. Don’t take anything personally. And if your inner child or inner adolescent needs to vent, go ahead and throw a tantrum and silent scream in the bathroom. Then pull yourself together and come out as the adult, handling things in a mature way.
You always have a choice in how you respond so no response is as powerful as a witty comeback. Sometimes, it’s better not to engage, so know when walking away and silence are best. If you’re fighting to win or prove your point, you’ve allowed your negative ego to take over. Be the Buddha instead.
And if you’re feeling lonely, then give to someone else: be of service, volunteer. Getting outside yourself and giving to others is a sure fire way to raise your vibration and get out of your story.
As we wind down the year, remember we’re ending a decade as well so do something on New Years Eve to say goodbye to all that the 2010s brought you, good and bad, happy and sad. Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, release the pain and any scars you’re holding, and forgive what needs to be forgiven so that you can enter this new decade with a clean slate.
There are so many ways to mark the closing of this decade, do something to mark this transition.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Solstice!
Talk to you on January 1st!
I’m always telling you to author your reality, but in a practical sense, how does one do that?
It’s actually both simple and it requires conscious recognition which might not always be easy. Yet it is absolutely doable and the results are fantastic.
So how do you begin? Awareness is key. Here’s an exercise to start the process. It originated from my healer friend Rose Colarossi, with a modification from me. It reminds me of morning pages from Julia Cameron, but with a twist:
1- Each morning in your journal, on the left side of the page, vent away. Everything you really feel and think, no holding back or editing. Use the page to get it out of you and onto paper.
2- When you’re done, look back through what you wrote and in red ink, cross out all the negative words, sentences, shoulds, and have to’s, etc.
3- Rewrite the story of your venting in positive ways on the right side of the paper, even if it’s not true. For example, change, “I hated waking up this morning. I’m so crabby and tired” to “I woke up refreshed and filled with energy and enthusiasm for my day!”
4- As your rewrite most likely won’t take a full page, with the remainder of the paper, write what you’re grateful for, at least 5 things.
You may discount this at first as being silly or stupid, but the more you do it, the more you’re showing your subconscious what you do want and the more you will find yourself shifting away from negative thoughts/feelings and into a more positive reality.
Now with that, notice your thoughts/feelings not just in the morning, but throughout your day. If you’re grumbling and bitching, can you see the situation differently? Can you change those negatives into a new positive perspective? Yes you can and the more you do, the more of that positive you’ll attract.
Now look, you’re human, some days you really need to allow yourself to go dark and process whatever is going on. I’ve written about that before to help you during those times. This isn’t that, this is, on a moment-by-moment basis, how am I choosing to see and respond to the world? Because it’s all a choice. No one is doing anything to you, you are not powerless. I’ll keep repeating that until you hear it.
By your thoughts and emotions, you are attracting people/situations to you, so why not author a great reality? Anything can be changed, nothing is set in stone. You have the power to turn around a bad day. And if it’s really bad, then hide under the covers and give yourself a reprieve. Without judgment!
However, daily get into a new habit: own your power, own your voice and own your authorship. Choose better thoughts and emotions that uplift you. Even if they’re not “true.” Who cares! Your subconscious won’t know the difference, it just brings to you what you’re asking for.
Give yourself permission to write the story the way you want it to be. Stop battling your negative ego and monkey mind and over-ride them by raising your vibration and ignoring their “poor me story.” No one else has the power to write your story, so stop giving responsibility away to others. You are the author. Live from what you’re creating versus merely being in reaction to what’s happening.
Challenge your thoughts: “Why do I think that? Is it really true?
Challenge your emotions: “Is this feeling in present time or am I in reaction old pain and wounds? What is this emotion trying to tell me?”
Then forgive the old thoughts and emotions and choose again.
Write a kick ass novel you’re proud to share. Remember, your light is way more powerful than any dark, so for 2020, author an extraordinary new story filled with everything that makes your heart sing with joy. It is your reality after all.
I have no idea how it’s December already but here we are! And it’s that time of year again (for some of you this will be familiar); it’s time to find your word for 2020.
Many years ago I read a blog by John Gordon. In it, he suggested picking one word for the upcoming year, versus creating resolutions that only make you feel badly if you can’t fulfill them. In his words, “just one word that gives meaning, mission, passion and purpose. One word that will help me be my best.”
I loved this idea and have been using it ever since. Two years ago, my word was self-love. Each morning I would ask how I could love and care for myself that day. It shifted me in subtle, and sometimes, profound ways.
This past year, I have to admit, I chose a word that was something I wanted and I thought that I allowed the word to come to me, but in hindsight, it wasn’t an actionable word and required much belief change to attain. I worked towards it, but it wasn’t something I lived. This year, I am relinquishing control and allowing a word to come to me that I can focus on daily, and tangibly bring more of into my life.
There are no wrong answers regarding your word, it’s very personal. Sometimes you will choose it, and sometimes it chooses you.
Ask yourself where you want to place your focus for 2020. You may find balance is your word, or freedom, understanding, or compassion, maybe you need to lighten up so play is your word, or if you’re ready to embrace more, then expansion. What speaks to you and what can help you daily to be the best you?
Remember, John says a word that gives, “meaning, mission, passion and purpose.”
Once you have your word, write it in big letters somewhere that you will read it each day. And not just a passing glance, but truly, “how can I bring this word into action today?”
As you focus on it, you will find that you may be lead to experiences, books, talks etc., that are exactly what you need to learn to help you grow and have more of that word in your reality.
So give it a try. Choose your word or let it choose you.
And if you want added support, write me back with your word and I’ll help infuse your year with it.
May your word for 2020 bring you beautiful transformation.
Me, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!