I had a blog that I wrote for this week considering what went down last Wednesday here in the U.S., but I can tell that so many of you are just fried and need some gentle love this week. So, these are nothing new, they’re simply reminders that you might need right now:
The light is more powerful than the dark. Your light is more powerful than your dark.
The world is changing, and the patriarchy and young souls are acting up and screaming, terrified of the changes. Don’t feed into the fear and the anger. Heal the places in you that are fearful and angry; wrap them in love and compassion. The more compassion you give to yourself, the more you send that frequency into the world.
Forgiveness on all levels is the most profound healer. In your personal reality, forgive yourself and anyone or anything that you feel is blocking/inhibiting you. You have the power to set yourself free.
On that vein, there are no victims. Call your power back from wherever you’re sending it.
Yes the exhaustion is real right now. I feel it, and I know many of you do as well. There could be a myriad of reasons, but the energy is intense and it’s knocking a lot of people out. It’s not only what went down in Washington, as well as increased fears/fatigue around Covid, but it’s also the intensity of light streaming in to help us grow and evolve. Take good care of you as you detox your pain and the pain in the world, and as your body adapts to higher frequencies of light.
Boundaries are necessary. Remove any energy vampires out of your reality if you can. Say no to any added burdens.
Grounding is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. It helps you process and release both the chaos in the world, and it helps you to accept the higher frequencies coming in. Cutting cords is also necessary, not only with the news and with social media, but with others. Also remove any psychic hooks that attach you to your phone/news/social media. You don’t need to know exactly where they are, just ask your Higher Self to gently remove them and send them to the light to be transmuted and transformed.
Breathe. We will get through this. You chose to be born during this time. Lead from your light as much as you can, and work through your own rage etc. The more you heal you, the more you heal the world.
For those of you who are new to some of these topics, the highlighted words above will provide links to prior blogs to better explain the subject. You can also read more in the categories to the right.
I wish you rewarding productivity, versus simple busyness.
I wish you surrender and trust, versus the forced controlling of an outcome.
I wish that you know and feel the connectedness with all of life, versus feeling alone.
I wish for you laughter and finding humor where you can, versus taking everything/yourself so seriously.
I wish for you to be in the flow of all of life, versus fighting against the current.
I wish for you to feel and know your personal power, versus falling into old patterns/beliefs of powerlessness.
I wish for you strong boundaries; “no” doesn’t need to cause guilt nor is it a bad word. Your time and energy are sacred.
I wish for you a quiet mind and the ability to relax. Magic happens when you can slow down and connect to the stillness within.
I wish for you curiosity; follow what piques your interest, wonderful discoveries await.
I wish for you creative expression.
I wish for you to try more without a fear of failure holding you back. You never know what can come of your willingness to explore.
I wish for you time that you put aside every day to meditate/exercise/be creative. Something that adds to your life.
I wish for you radiant health and increased vitality.
I wish for you freedom from addictions, of any sort.
I wish for you more compassion and understanding; with yourself and others.
I wish for you treating yourself like the valuable person you are.
I wish for you to trust your instincts more than what others tell you.
I wish for you to honor your needs; some of you are introverts, some extroverts. Know how you best react to the world and act accordingly.
I wish for you more time in nature; it’s a phenomenal healer.
I wish for you to stop justifying your existence; you are enough exactly as you are. You don’t need to do anything to prove that.
I wish for you to see and own all parts of you. Your dark isn’t bad and wrong, it just needs to be honored and healed. Your light is magnificent; stop pretending it doesn’t exist.
I wish for you love; to live and experience love from its true essence, versus man-made distortions.
I wish for you that you forgive yourself and others more, and judge less.
There is so much more I wish for you; I truly desire to see you thrive.
So in closing, I will say that I wish for you a year in which you take risks, connect more deeply to yourself, own your worth, and live from your gratitude and happiness. Life is meant to be fun. Regardless of what’s happening in the world, be empowered and create a life that brings you joy.
Well, you made it! The year that took forever and yet flew by.
Regardless of whether this year was filled with growth, or was miserable for you, take a moment to think of 5 things that you learned this year or that you changed, regarding yourself or something in your life. Five things that you’re grateful for. If you have more than five, great. If not, totally fine.
Here’s why I suggest this: if you allow gratitude to be the predominant vibration that you’re in, you’ll attract more of the things that you’re wanting for 2021. So as eager as you are for the New Year, send it out on a note of gratitude.
And on that note, let’s have fun!!! We all need more fun in 2021 so today, Oracle Cards.
When I pulled cards, I asked for the card that best represented something you needed to know for 2021.
The cards were very specific in their energy and very different from each other. So take a moment before you choose and ask for guidance from your Higher Self. Center, breathe, and then pick the number between 1-4 that most calls to you. Trust that you’ll get the right card for you.
If your card doesn’t make sense for you, dig deeper. There’s a reason you pulled it, don’t just dismiss it. There's a message there.
And if it does make sense, great!
What you most need to know, or be aware of, for 2021:
Card Number 1
Card Number 2
Card Number 3
Card Number 4
Happy New Year!!! May 2021 be SPECTACULAR for you!!
If I’ve done my job this year, then you’re starting to feel/own more of your light.
You realize that you’re not your body, but a magnificent being of light. You know that no one has power over you, except the power you give them. You realize to question everything and adapt it for you. You’re owning more of the truth that you are enough and you’re owning more of your worth. You’re understanding that The Divine is in you, not outside of you. That all of your answers are within. And it’s safe to trust your gut.
My hope is that you’re waking up to the beliefs and lies that have kept you enslaved and shackled in any form. That anything your mind or anyone/anything external says about you not being enough or being powerless or not mattering is a lie- one meant to keep you under control.
As you own your light and who you truly are, you’ll be free on a myriad of levels and that threatens your negative ego and anyone invested in your subservience. But you no longer fit in the box you’ve been in. You’re more than that. You don’t need to be defined by your limitations, instead begin to define yourself by your love, by your caring, by your desire to see/do good in the world.
Yes it’s great to achieve but you’re not your achievements; you’re your inner growth, conscious awareness and evolution. Your value lies within, not without.
And simultaneously to all this, you’re human so you will make mistakes. That used to be an idea of horror to me; the need for perfection to feel safe and not humiliated was huge. But that’s not life. The key is how you handle your mistakes and are they really mistakes or opportunities for growth? Can you change your perspective on that?
When you own all facets of you, your light and your dark, and you send more and more light to the dark places within, you shine like a diamond.
Yes you’ll still feel grief, pain, and anger etc. because you’re human!! It’s part of the package. And you can allow more fun, freedom, and love because that is part of it too.
Loosen the bonds around you, open to more of the light and what you do want to experience. Take your attention away from you don’t want and put all your focus on what you do want.
This is a time of increased consciousness, allow it in and shine.
I spoke of the battlefield a few weeks ago but I’m bringing this up again now because A: it’s been coming up in so many of your sessions recently, and B: as we move more fully into the age of Aquarius, which is all about cooperation and unity, it’s time to set down the battles that you’ve been waging so that you can create a new reality for yourself.
The idea of a battlefield was originally introduced to me by Lazaris 12 years ago, but recently, it began appearing to me in my personal growth work and in sessions in a very specific way that's quite different than how they taught it.
The best way for me to explain the battlefield, is that there’s a part of you on a figurative, yet very real, battlefield, sword in hand, engaging with the enemy. The battle can be draining you energetically and physically, yet still you persist in fighting.
The main way to know you’re on the battlefield is if there’s an issue that keeps coming back again, over and over. It’s accompanied by the frustration that no matter what you do, the issue won’t seem to budge.
On the battlefield you can be fighting anything: maybe you’re at war with yourself; refusing love, refusing ease, living in lack, punishing yourself, or denying yourself happiness etc. Maybe you’re fighting life; not trusting that you can receive what you want and being stuck in self-pity or victimhood, believing that you’re powerless. Maybe you’re fighting childhood demons, still living as if they can control you now. You could be battling a specific person from the past or present, still trying to create justice. Or maybe you battle your body and its limitations or perceived flaws.
Regardless of what you’re battling, battles take a lot of energy to keep the hatred, resistance or anger etc. alive. Battles can be rage filled or sad or any other emotion. They steal your attention and drain you of joy, peace, and harmony.
A lot of what we fight is in our own minds; wounds and traumas or patterns of negative behavior that the negative ego perpetuates, and we keep living.
Maybe you think you need to keep fighting because it’s just the way it is, and nothing/no one can help you. Not only is that a faulty belief, but it also keeps you engaged with the darkness within you.
Maybe you fight because there’s a righteous part of you that wants the other to get their comeuppance. You want to be the victor at all costs. Unfortunately the cost is you.
When you go to these places emotionally, not only are you feeding the very thing you say you want to release, but it also drops you very low energetically. You cannot find solutions in that place.
Sometimes you need to process through a myriad of emotions to really excavate what’s going on, while working through layers of anger and rage etc. before you can truly put your sword down. And sometimes, you’ve done everything and now it’s time to let it go.
There’s another huge battle that I’m seeing play out which is fighting evil. Many of you came in from lifetimes of actively fighting the dark. It’s in your bones to battle with dark forces of any nature. I get it, that was me for most of my life. Now, I’m not saying it’s bad to want things to be better, what I’m saying is that a consistent battle with the dark not only drains your life force, it keeps the battle going. It keeps the dark present and draws it to you. Anything you in engage in, gives it energy.
The solution to all of this is to lay down your sword and step off the battlefield. In my mind, the battlefield is muddy and dark, yet immediately to the side of the battlefield is beautiful lush green grass. When you set down your sword and walk onto the grass, you keep walking into a magnificent meadow, filled with an abundance of wildflowers, a warm beautiful sun, and the feeling of total calm.
The subconscious understands symbols and feelings even better than words. I’ve written a detailed guided imagery at the bottom of the blog to help you leave the battlefield.
When you step off into the meadow, you allow love and light into the issue you’ve been battling and resisting. You stop feeding it negativity and you feed it love. And I don’t mean just this airy-fairy idea of love, I mean actually infusing that area of your life with the Divine essence of love: yourself, your body, your psyche, your relationships. Inviting in and actively visualizing that love enter that space. Forgiving yourself for anything that has kept you engaged in battle.
Now, I hear some of your protests and questions so let me clarify: I am absolutely horrified by some of the stuff going on in our country and in the world. I do not accept injustice. I completely rail and vent and process through all of my rage etc. and then I take my power back and I start visualizing and putting all of my energy into the solution I choose to see. Into the reality I choose to see. Into the light and the justice. I step off the battlefield so that I’m not engaged and actively fighting over and over with the darkness. I refuse to give the perpetrators more energy. By my disengaging I become more powerful than them. I stand over in the meadow bathed in light. I send that light of healing from a place of empowerment. I become a giant of the light versus sinking into the mud of animosity and darkness.
When you’re stuck in battle, you can’t be your greater self. And your greater self is what’s needed to heal both your personal reality, and the world.
Be willing to set down your sword, and expand your inner light.
Here’s a more detailed visualization for you to set you free:
See yourself on your battlefield. You may know what you’re battling, or you may not. See yourself standing in the thick mud and notice the battle going on around you. Maybe you see many versions of you fighting the enemy, maybe you just hear the clang of swords, or maybe you see yourself bloodied and beaten down while the enemy waits for you to start fighting again. Use your imagination.
Look over and see the clear line of delineation between the mud and the grass. Walk over to line, still on the side of the battlefield, and state that you are willing to stop this battle. Proclaim that you forgive and release yourself and what/who you’re fighting. State that you choose love and freedom instead of this, that you choose peace and harmony.
Set down your sword, and you may even need to line up all the yous from different lifetimes of battling and have every you set their sword down simultaneously. It’s a powerful message of disengaging and empowerment to show your subconscious. Then with purpose, step over the line onto the grass, and watch as that the battle begins to evaporate and disappear.
Once it’s gone, walk deeper into the meadow. Stand in the meadow with your arms outstretched. Notice a golden ball of light above you opening up and raining into your space all of your power and energy that was wrapped up in battle. Then feel the pure energy of love raining in, filling the very spaces where you’d battled. Feel it coming back into you, revitalizing you, filling you, healing and transforming you. The more you fill yourself, the more you remember you have the power to change anything. You remember that love is the greatest healer. And you remember who you really are.
Do this as often as needed to disengage from battle. If it’s been a stubborn issue, you may need to repeat this process a few times until your subconscious gets the message.
May it bring you phenomenal peace.
As I’ve been telling you the importance of grounding yourself for years now, today we’re adding in another component which is running earth and cosmic energy through your body.
Running earth energy helps soothe and calm your body and anchors you more thoroughly to the planet.
Running cosmic energy helps you to connect more deeply to the truer, expansive you and to Source/The Universe/Divinity and the divine in you.
Together they help you be more present to yourself and better able to respond to the world.
When I used to teach at the Berkeley Psychic Institute, what I’m teaching you in this blog, I would teach over a six-week course. So it’s very important that you read all of my notes below ahead of time, before just diving in.
* I speak as if you’re familiar with creating a grounding cord and a shield. If you’re new to this process, listen to my grounding meditation first, before diving into this one. Listen here.
* I do recommend sitting in a chair or on a couch as it’s most beneficial to have your feet on the ground.
* If you’ve already created a shield and a grounding cord the day before, take a moment before you begin to remove both. Imagine the grounding cord unhooking and dropping away from your spine and your first chakra, and allow it to explode as it falls into the planet. Then imagine easily removing and popping your shield, exploding and releasing it as well.
* When I set the energy at the beginning, I say, “sacred and protected.” I say protected not because there’s something to fear outside of you, I say it to help you hold space for deep connection, while keeping interfering energies out.
* There are some teachers who say that cosmic energy only goes down and earth energy only goes up. That wasn’t the way I was originally taught almost 30 (!) years ago and it never feels right to me. However, it might feel right to you. So modify as you see fit for you. The way I do it every morning anchors me into my body and feels good. You need to discover the same.
* On that vein, when I tell you to run earth energy, you can run any color you like, be it the blues and greens that are inherent in the earth, or maybe you prefer the oranges and reds like the magma. Every body is different: someone who’s very airy or out of their body a lot like I can be, needs the blues and greens as they’re much more calming and grounding. People I know that are very earthy and grounded inherently, tend to like the reds and oranges better because they’re a bit of a zippier energy and earthy people can sometimes need that lightness.
Play around with it because each color will feel different to you. Personally I love pine green, that is my daily go-to because it’s very grounding and earthy to me.
Never do black or white, and yellow is far too frenetic as well.
I wouldn’t run brown as it’s too heavy of an energy. The exception is if you’re super out of your body and scattered and you need to feel more present. In those cases, I have run a medium amount of mocha colored earth energy through my leg channels, and I allow the majority of it to run back down my grounding cord once it enters the 1st chakra (which will make sense after you hear the meditation). I then only bring a minimal amount of that mocha up through the front energy channels, as it can be too dense and heavy for the upper chakras.
* Regarding cosmic energy, same thing- never run brown, or black obviously, but neither would I run white light. That is a super high vibration and can have the opposite effect of what we’re going for in that it can shoot you out of your body and the point of this is to get you into your body.
* I forgot the word “Source” when I was recording the meditation so to be clear, ask that the neutral cosmic energy comes from Source.
* Cosmic energy moves much more quickly through your system than earth energy, so you may notice that I don’t pause as much when bringing in the cosmic energy.
* If you feel really spun out, anxious, or scattered, then maybe that day you simply run earth energy, not adding in cosmic energy. You just connect more deeply to the earth and allow it to transmute the energies knocking you out of balance.
* Shields help deflect energy coming at you, but they’re not infallible. Sometimes you inadvertently allow energies in, or nasty energies blow your shield out. You may need to create multiple shields throughout the day.
* At the end when we fill with unconditional love and light, you can see that ball of energy as white light versus gold if you desire, but if you’re incredibly ungrounded, fill yourself with gold, rose pink, violet, or blue versus white. As I said above, white can actually knock you out of your body so play around with what you need. Sometimes I blend gold and white.
If you have any questions about anything above, don’t hesitate to reach out and ask me.
Take the time for yourself each morning, or as often as you can, and stay in a bubble of peace and connection as you run energy. Don’t let the outside world into your meditative time, use that time to disengage from the collective.
Your answers are within you, as are your enoughness, your acceptance, and your peace. They’re not found outside of you, but in the quiet within.
So settle into yourself and give yourself this gift of presence and healing.
It’s that time of year again, thinking about your word for 2021! This year seemed crazy long at times and yet, it’s almost done.
For those who are new, this is based on a John Gordon blog I read, maybe five years ago. In it, he suggested picking one word for the upcoming year, versus creating resolutions that only make you feel badly if you can’t fulfill them. In his words, “just one word that gives meaning, mission, passion and purpose. One word that will help me be my best.”
I’ve done it ever since and have encouraged you all to do the same the last two years. If you want more details regarding choosing your word/allowing it to choose you, here are previous blogs that have more information: December 2019, December 2018
I’m sending the word email early in December because I want to give you time to sit with a word that will propel you into a brilliant future. We all need some fabulous future dreaming right now, so next December, when you look back at the end of 2021, imagine future you smiling at how much the word you chose elevated you and made your year more extraordinary.
Once you have your word, and don’t rush finding it, see that word infused throughout 2021. Visualize looking at the calendar of 2021 and imagine your word woven throughout the days and months. Imagine that word opening you up to possibilities, insights, changes, and personal growth.
As I’ve reminded you before, don’t just pick the word and forget about it. Write it big and bold somewhere that you’ll see it every day. Embody and live the word and allow it to expand you for the better.
And no pressure by the way, it doesn’t have to be perfect! You may even change it a couple times until you find the right fit. It can be anything you’re wanting more of: self-love, freedom, fun, empowerment, self-trust, patience, voice, play- the list is endless.
For 2020, my word was wisdom and I consciously looked at whether or not decisions I was making were wise. I infused that word into all the choices I made, and it helped me tremendously.
If you desire, share your word with me and I’ll support you in your mission for 2021. Happy choosing!!!
As the sun is now in the sign of Sagittarius (woo-hoo, it's my birthday Friday!!!) - and us Sags are all about abundance and reaching for the stars, as well as it being Thanksgiving tomorrow here in the States, I thought this would be a perfect week to remind you of the power of gratitude.
The beautiful thing about gratitude, is that it increases the things in your life that you feel grateful for. So the more you focus on that feeling, the greater and more expansive your life becomes. It elevates and lifts your energy and your mood. It’s especially important if you’re feeling down; you cannot be in gratitude and fear or self-pity simultaneously.
Right now, think about the people in your life that you’re most grateful for. The ones you value. Allow your heart to be involved in this list so it’s not just a mental counting exercise. When you think of each person, think about them in a way that makes you smile.
Now beyond the loved ones in your life, take a moment to be grateful for the things in your life. Maybe the fact that you have running water and electricity. That you have food in your fridge. Do you have a car? Or maybe you use a ride share. Either are things to be grateful for. What about where you live? Or maybe a book or movie that touched you and opened you up. The list is endless.
Let this be an exercise in appreciation for all you’re grateful for.
Because when you truly look, there are a mountain of blessings waiting to be acknowledged, showing you the abundant life you truly do have.
And before I close, I want to say an enormous THANK YOU to all of you!! I am absolutely grateful for your taking the time to read what I write, for the incredible feedback you share with me, and for your continued support. I value and appreciate you tremendously!
I want to give a huge shout out to all of my fellow Sags and to the myriad of you who share my b-day week; there is one of you every day this week as well as my stepdaughter. I love birthdays, in case it wasn't obvious enought!
So one of my birthday wishes for everyone who reads this, is that this next year bring you a miracle, beyond what you could consciously imagine!! xoxo
This has been a phenomenally tough year for most people; to put it mildly.
The state of the world, the state of the U.S., Covid, our election, the changing weather patterns, the economy – there has been incredible uncertainty. It has many of you feeling horribly unsettled and ungrounded. We’re being pushed and pulled to extreme levels.
On a bigger picture, the old ways of doing things are having to die to make room for the new. What I mean by that is as humans, we’re literally creating a New World. Think of the Mayan calendar: it’s ending didn’t mean the literal world would explode, it meant the end of the world as we knew it. We’re entering unchartered territory. There are no maps, no guideposts. We’re creating it consciously.
I’ve spoken about it before but for those who are new, we’re entering a new age, the Age of Aquarius. With that comes an elevation in consciousness and new levels of freedom, cooperation, technology, and social justice.
The patriarchy, and with it chauvinism, cannot exist in the New World. The feminine is equal to the masculine and the Divine feminine is beginning to return. That’s a threat to many who desire to continue the chauvinistic paradigm of having power over another or the men who choose to dominate women, see them as inferior, and tell us what to do with our own bodies. There are women who are at the effect of chauvinism as well; think of women who compete with other women, try to tear them down, emasculate men, or deny their own female energy. Chauvinism has negatively impacted men by teaching them to deny their feelings and to disconnect from any softness as it's considered weak. This cuts men off from the power of their own feminine energy.
Feminine energy is extraordinarily powerful and as that power rises, it terrifies those in opposition to it, thus their loud need to control it even more deeply.
Many of the young souls are not able to handle the shifts in rising energy right now. We’re seeing that in their blatant gripping of all patriarchal ideas and their desire for destruction towards anyone who disagrees with them.
In your personal realities, all the upheaval and uncertainties can be scary and disconcerting. Many of you are feeling tremendous fatigue. Not just physically, but emotionally; the, “when will it end?!” feelings. With more potential lockdowns coming, fear around the future is ramping up again.
A wonderful friend sent me an article about compassion fatigue. Where some people are so overwhelmed with their own stuff, that it’s hard to have compassion for others. If you’re feeling that way, that’s okay. It simply means you need to be extra compassionate with yourself first.
While on a big picture level life can feel like too much, I remind you that you have the power to shift your personal reality. I've written extensively in previous blogs of how to do so. And on the days that you just can’t deal with anything, disconnect, and do something nice for yourself. Don’t engage with people who upset you, and disengage from the amped up outrage in the world.
As dark as it seems, the light always wins. Hold the vision/space for the light, even when you can’t see/find it. It’s not easy sometimes. We have to get through the mud and the muck and the battles that we’ve been fighting for over 2000 years during the Piscean Age.
I understand the frustration: we want to step off the battlefield. Old souls came in to help usher in the New World, and yet these times echo the end days of Atlantis. I’ve seen in many of your spaces where that’s very distressing and fearful; it’s understandable that you’re fatigued by it all.
The way to help heal this collectively, and thereby consciously adding your light to the creation of the New World, is to step off the battlefield in your personal reality. What are you still fighting? What battles are you continually engaged in that it’s time to walk away from? That could be literal such as an addiction or a battle with someone, or things such as a battle with always needing to control, or with continually falling into self-pity and a victim mentality. Maybe your battle is always sacrificing yourself for others or indulging your own rage. Maybe you battle being physical and punish/disassociate from your body. Or maybe you battle with love itself and push it away at all costs.
By the way, for those whose role it is to bring the light to injustices, there’s a difference between being a champion against injustice, and needing to battle injustice. Sit with that and feel the difference.
Once again, I extend the light of hope. I have ultimate faith that we will get through these dark times and rise beautifully. I’m holding and sharing that hope with everyone who reads these words.
In the meantime, honor your immediate disappointment if you can’t be with family over Thanksgiving, honor yourself if you feel lonely or angry or fed up or frustrated. Honor where you’re at. I’m referencing some other blogs below that will help you to move through those emotions when you’re ready.
And this week, step off your personal battlefield and focus on the self-care that you most need. You matter!
The Ladder of Emotions
Ways to Nurture Yourself as We Co-Create the New World
A Map for Calm in the Face of Chaos
Guided Meditation to Transcend Loneliness
I think sometimes in my blogs I come across as always being very calm and levelheaded. To bust open that curtain, that is not the truth at all. While I can be calm and levelheaded, I’m also quite fiery. I can have a short fuse sometimes in regard to anger. I try to be as responsible as I can with my anger, which means not throwing it harmfully at others.
I bring this up now because last week, not only was I furious at the injustice of politicians who try to skirt democracy, but also because fear has been, and continues to be, super high in the world, and especially in the United States. And what do most people do when they're afraid? They get angry.
Yes, I teach you how to create from an empowered place, and simultaneously, we’re human so emotions are going to be hot sometimes. You cannot deny them, you have to own them and work through them.
Since anger’s been coming up a lot lately in sessions, and many of you have asked, here are the tools I use to work through/release it:
First, anger itself isn’t bad. You have to get over that notion. It’s how you express it that can be healthy, or incinerating and detrimental.
Maybe you grew up in a household where one parent, or both, were always angry and fighting. Maybe because of that, you either decided to never be angry (which can lead to depression or passive aggressive behavior), or you go full force with yours. If you’re a woman, you may have been taught that it wasn’t ladylike to be angry or that good girls aren’t angry. Any of these scenarios make anger bad and wrong and can lead to health issues if suppressed, or relationship issues if overly expressed in harmful ways.
Before I give techniques, be wise. If your anger is out of control and harmful to yourself or others, get professional help. I’m speaking in this blog to those who want to learn how to responsibly release anger, not those who fear they could do something violent.
That being said, here are some techniques. You may like different ones at different times; find what works best for you. And this is by far not a complete list. I don’t purport to be an expert, just someone who has worked through tons of her own anger and rage.
1: Go into a Rage Bubble.
Personally, this is my favorite technique and one that works brilliantly for me. When I’m angry, I go into rage bubble. Through that technique, I can say and release what I need, in a safe way for all.
I have that technique on my resource page, but here it is as well.
2: Writing It Out:
Writing is another favorite. Whether venting in a journal or writing a hate letter.
~ If you journal it, you can burn the papers after if it’ll give you satisfaction, but it’s not necessary. Sometimes I’ve waited until my journal is full to shred or destroy the energy contained within.
You need to be real and honest with yourself when writing. If you find yourself editing what you want to say, stop. Show yourself the truth. No one else will ever see what you’ve written. This technique is not for re-reading or showing yourself in a good light; it is fully for release.
~ As for the hate letter, this is based on a Lazaris technique:
Write out on a piece of paper all of your hatred and rage towards someone. Handwriting versus typed is important. When you’re done, put the page/pages away for 24 hours. The next day, re-read what you’ve written and add more venom if you need. Get all the ugly, stuck emotions out. If you’re satisfied, skip ahead. If you’ve added more, then wait 24 hours again to re-read. Keep this re-read/add/wait cycle going until you’ve said all there is to say, then burn the pages and release the rage and anger. The key is to write until you’ve fully expelled it all. Every crack and crevice of pain coming up in this moment. It doesn’t mean you won’t need to do another round in the future, it means that for now, you’re complete and ready/willing to let it go.
3: Physical Release:
~ Take a pillow and beat the snot out of your bed/couch while verbally expressing what has you so angry. Release everything pent up in your body. You can go for a run/do strenuous exercise as well, but make sure you also give the anger a voice. The speaking of it is a critical component.
~ Throw a private temper tantrum. Yes, you read that right. We’ve been seeing a lot of public temper tantrums lately, but that’s just a person’s negative ego being in control. To release in a healthy way, means you listen to your, most likely, inner child. Let them say why they’re so mad/triggered. Let them vent by you literally going somewhere private and stomping your feet and silent screaming. Let your inner child have full freedom to vent for a few minutes. Then pull yourself together, come back to being an adult, and handle what’s in front of you from a place of calm empowerment.
I am really good at disappearing into a bathroom if my inner child gets triggered. I do what I told you above, and when I come back to the situation at hand, I speak clearly and with adult wisdom. At some point soon I’ll teach you more in regard to the inner child, but for now, that part of you exists. Give her/him a voice so they don’t control your actions/behavior. (You can journal with them or bring them into a meditation or rage bubble as well to work through childhood issues.)
4: Body Release:
Sometimes that anger is trapped in the body and needs a more physical approach to release it. You can use EFT (or tapping), you can try EMDR, sound healing- anything that you’ll use consistently to work through the places where the rage/anger is stored in your body.
It's smart to hire a practioner who specializes in one of the fields above, especially when the anger is intense. You don’t want to just manage your anger; you want to release the patterns and blocked energy so that you can consciously choose in any moment how to handle the emotions that arise. You want to stay present to your feelings, not become reactive or fall into behaviors from childhood/adolescence.
The key with all of these is to do them consciously without splatting your rage on everyone else.
If you feel yourself getting worked up, stop and leave the room/conversation. If you can’t leave, breathe and focus on your feet. Anger can shoot you out of body, you have to come back in, in present time.
Do not respond by lashing out. Don’t send off that text/email. Write a rough draft of what you really want to say, and then walk away without sending it. Sit with it. BE an adult. Not a reactive, petulant child.
Ask yourself if what you want to say is empowering and needs to be said, or if it’s just the judging, vindictive, cruel part that wishes others harm. Beware the righteous anger that says you have a right to explode your rage at others. That’s pure negative ego and a complete lack of personal responsibility.
Just because you’ve been hurt, doesn’t give you the right to hurt others.
Know the difference between anger that motivates you to better yourself/the world, and anger that is you emotionally throwing up on another.
Also, you have to be willing to look at the root cause of your anger. Maybe it’s feeling a lack of control, or a need to control, or maybe it’s feeling unsafe. You have to be willing to excavate those places and your childhood wounds to really be able to handle it responsibly.
Back to my fury I mentioned in the beginning; I didn’t need to do a huge process around it because I’ve worked with my anger enough that I can move through it quickly. What I did was to take my power back; to disconnect from the fear and rage that gets amped up by the media. I put all of my attention and power into what I do want to see. Into the world I am creating and imagining. I transmuted that anger into positive action, versus sitting in a sense of powerlessness or darkness.
The more you work through your anger, the freer you'll be. The world needs more cooperative calm and less emotional reactivity. In any moment, the choice is yours. Be responsible with your rage to help heal the world.
Me, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!