You all know that I talk openly about dealing with anger and rage. I certainly don’t shy away from those emotions- lol! You also know that I like to give you tools for dealing/healing when you hit up against these, or other darker emotions. So here’s my story:
Last week, I got hit with intense rage, and I really didn’t know the cause. All I knew was that it was so heavy and uncomfortable that it was giving me a headache I felt it so strongly.
First and foremost, I acknowledged it and didn’t shove it down. I made time to deal with it. This is key for those of you who avoid or numb through food, alcohol, social media, etc. You have to make time to hear it out and deal with it. Shoving it down only causes it to come out in more harmful ways.
So, I made the time. I silent screamed because it was so overwhelming. And by that, I mean screaming but with no sound- didn’t want to scare the neighbors. Then I went into a rage bubble (see technique on resource page) and ranted and got it out as much as was possible. Usually that does the trick but this time it still wasn’t budging and I really didn’t know what it was related to.
So I began to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), also known as tapping. I tapped on all the areas, not following any “rules” or specific things to say, simply saying, “all this rage” over and over while touching each point. I also added in words about questioning what it was about. I stayed in the moment and spoke whatever came to me. At some point, I started to realize where it was coming from and what triggered me. It was an old memory that somehow surfaced. So I continued tapping, talking about the memory, and releasing the buried angers.
While I was doing this, I felt the loneliness, abandonment and pain that was below the rage so I began talking about those while tapping on each point. I did this until I felt it felt right to stop.
Then I felt like writing. So I wrote it all, angrily, all my pain and hurt etc. It felt cathartic. And I blamed- fully. When done, I took the papers outside and burned them. I wanted that released.
When I came inside, I did a Lazaris technique that I remembered from years ago, called “The Art of Forgetting.” I will give you an abbreviated version, but please reach out if you want me to explain it more fully:
I visualized an image of that memory. I could see myself in the memory as if looking at a picture. Then I began siphoning all the color and energy out of it. Lazaris says to pull out the “life and the light” from the image. Eventually I saw the picture becoming black and white as I pulled back my power, and my energy, until it was flat and devoid of life. Once it was drained, I took the raw energy out and gave it to my Higher Self (again, email me if you have questions. These last steps are more detailed than I am describing). Beyond my seeing, I allowed my Higher Self to transmute and transform it. Once it was healed, they returned that raw energy back to me so that I could send it into somewhere I know, or into something beyond what I could imagine. I chose the latter.
The intensity of rage and pain etc. became an intensity of love and light.
After that all completed, it felt right to tap again and so I did so, this time asking to “receive the healing.” I asked for that over and over; to receive the forgiveness and healing that would set me free. I also stated that “I allow and receive” the healing, while tapping each point. I pictured myself being filled with beautiful golden light streaming into my space, and into everywhere my bodies- emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical- had been affected.
At the end, I was in incredible peace and no longer carrying any conscious or subconscious rage. I set the person free from that memory as well.
So why do I detail this? As I said, to empower you. To teach you that sometimes it takes trying many different things to find what you most need to heal. To remind you that even if you don’t know why you’re upset, your subconscious does so sometimes you need to go through the process to discover the reason. To see that when you get triggered, it doesn’t have to control you or knock you out of your body.
The more you take your power back and clear the dark, the more space there is for joy, laughter, fun, and love.
So the next time some emotion slams you, talk to it. See what you need. Give it time and attention so you can go through it to gather its lessons. Not only will you give yourself greater freedom, you will be healing the world by clearing out more of the dark. It starts with you.
Me, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!