Since fear is incredibly high in the world right now, and the best way to alleviate fear in the world is to deal with your own deep fears, that’s what we’re going to do this week.
I want you to take a moment and think about some of your deep fears. Now maybe they won’t be immediately apparent, so let’s look at behaviors and patterns of being.
Maybe you over do and over give again and again. You find that no matter how much you try, you cannot sit still and just be. It seems that you always have to be doing or giving.
So let’s dive deeper into that: maybe your worth is in your giving and doing. Maybe there’s a secret fear that if you’re not doing, you have no value. Or maybe you think that if you don’t overdo, the deeper fear is that you won’t be loved.
This scenario can play out in multiple ways in which two people can have the same behavior, but both have a different deep core fear.
Taking that same behavior as an example, maybe the deepest fear is that you’re not good enough. And so you have to continually do to prove to yourself and the world, that you are enough.
With that as the deepest core fear, maybe you always do everything perfectly. Everything around you: the way you present yourself, your home, your family, all has to be perfect. This could also be how not good enough plays out. If you’re always try to control yourself or those around you to do it right, how much underneath that is the fear that you’re not good enough? Just sit with that. The deeper fear could also be that you won’t be loved unless you do it perfectly.
See how two people can have similar behaviors but different core issues?
Let’s look at a different behavior: maybe you find that you just can’t/won’t set boundaries. Every time you try, you acquiesce and don’t hold them. Let’s dive into some fears there: maybe you fear that the person will get mad at you. OK, what happens if they get mad at you? They pull the love away. If they pull the love away, you could potentially be alone. Maybe that fear of rejection is so deep that you will do anything; even let people override you and your wishes, to ultimately not be alone. For some, that’s the bottom, for others, it might be being be unloved. In either case, maybe the fear of rejection is what you’re aware of, yet more deeply; it’s the loss of love and being alone.
The fear of not being good enough, the fear of ultimately being alone, these are core fears. They will create behaviors that, even if you know they are harmful for you, sometimes you do them anyway because the fear controls you on a subconscious level and makes you feel so unsafe unless you continue the negative pattern.
Do not judge your fear; absolutely forgive yourself for it. You could get mad at it, but that will just hold it in place. You created the pattern and behavior at a point in your life where you truly thought this was the way to survive. Find some compassion and forgiveness towards yourself because those are the energies that will shift it. Anger and blame will only hold the fear in place more strongly.
Let’s look at one more example:
Maybe you’re an incredible achiever. You achieve, you reach goals, and you shine fabulously in everything you do. However, you feel that what drives you is trying to show that you do matter. Yes, maybe for you at first it’s that you’re good enough, but if you dive deeper, maybe the core is that you matter; that your presence matters. And so you spend your life proving that by being an overachiever and accomplishing things. Nothing wrong with those things inherently, I’m saying look at the why of what you do.
With every example above, look at the motivation behind the behaviors, and find the deep fears. Maybe within my examples, when you look at your ability to achieve, you see that you actually do it from a positive place. Then fantastic! I’m not saying all of these examples are done from fear. I’m saying notice where your fear plays out for you. It will be different for everyone. One person’s positive behavior is another’s that is fear-based at the core. Two people can achieve a goal and one of them does it from the higher reason of expressing the more of themselves and bringing their gifts to the world, while the other person may do it because they need to prove to themselves that they really are good enough, that they really do matter, and that they have value. So that’s all I’m saying, simply notice.
By noticing, you take away the power of the negative and can start affirming the positive of what you do want in your reality.
Be observant this week, and do not feed your fears. The way the world has less fear is by you dealing with yours. It starts with you.
Me, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!