Right now, with many losing their minds, it’s important to remember to not engage crazy. There are those who thrive on drama, who want to sweep you into their mess, who want to amp up discord. However, as I’ve reminded you often lately, you don’t need to participate.
One of my favorite metaphors comes from my friend Linda Foley. She always told me to stay off the crazy playground. What is the crazy playground you ask?
The way I think of the crazy playground is as if imagining yourself stuck on a carousel, and you just keep circling around and around with either a person or an issue. It doesn’t stop moving, it’s up to you to step off.
How do you know you’re on the crazy playground? When you’re engaging in a battle. When a fight has escalated beyond what it’s even really about. When someone has no interest in looking at their part of their mess and simply wants to blame. When someone is sinking into their own story and refuses any bit of sane advice. When you’re arguing over and over and over and getting nowhere.
It’s anytime you can tell the other person doesn’t hear you, or you’re mired in an old pattern, or with somebody who’s stuck in their negative ego- and you just keep circling around and around and around, and refuse to take the highroad and walk away.
Here’s an example: a client of mine has a mother that always has a crisis going on, always needing something. The mother thrives on drama. She dumps it on my client and expects my client to fix it all. Eventually, through talking about this metaphor, my client realized that she’s constantly on the crazy playground with her mother. Always engaging the crazy by responding to it, and/or resisting it. Resistance still keeps you on the playground. It wasn’t until she took her power back one day and realized that:
A: she was not at her mother’s beck and call and could simply not answer the phone – to which to some of you might say, “well duh,” but to others who know what it’s like when somebody needs you and is continually looking to you for something, that’s not always easy.
And B: when her mom started dumping all of the issues on her, she simply said, “I cannot help you today. I hope you’re able to fix that problem. I have to go now, we’ll talk soon.”
She let her mom know that she would not be there to solve that particular problem, nor any other problems coming up. She held the boundary of her sanity being more important than being on that merry go round of crazy.
There’s not just a merry go round on the crazy playground, there’s also a teeter totter- where someone is always up and the other is always down- a swing set, the monkey bars – they can all be metaphors for however the crazy is playing out.
You won’t always recognize that you’re stuck there. Sometimes you simply think you’re engaging in dialogue or discussion. But notice if it keeps going in circles. Notice if there always has to be a winner and a loser. Notice if you’re so used to it that you don’t realize that you are worthy and deserving of peace and serenity.
Regardless of which vehicle you’re on in the playground, ultimately, sanity comes from disengaging and walking away. Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? Do you want tranquility, or do you want conflict?
You take your power back by not only stepping off the merry-go-round, but actually walking to the edge of the playground, opening the gate, and closing it behind you to completely detach and liberate yourself.
In my imagination, the land outside the gate of the crazy playground is serene, peaceful, and beautiful.
You deserve to be there. When you find yourself in the crazy playground, use the imagery of walking out, closing the gate, and then set the boundaries needed, cut the cords, and choose peace instead of chaos. Focus on being the best you that you can be, and don’t give your power away to anything/anyone that disrupts your calm.
If it helps, in your head say, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
The more you disengage from crazy, the more you teach your subconscious that you won't allow it in your reality, thereby creating more harmonious people/circumstances in your life.
You are worthy of contentment and well-being.
May you find peace and sanity this week!
Me, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!