Let’s talk about FOMO - fear of missing out. FOMO, at it’s core, is your negative ego. What greater way to get you invested in fear and bypassing what you actually need/want, then to feed you the lie that everyone else is… fill in the blank. They are all doing it and you are going to be left out. AHHHHH!!! Talk about preying on people’s deepest insecurities!
The idea that you are missing out or worse, being excluded, creates anxiety. In that state of anxiety, you may find yourself agreeing to things from fear versus empowerment. It also feeds into the faulty belief that something is wrong with you. “What’s wrong with me that I wasn’t invited to/included in/ present for …? Everyone else was there and had a great time. I missed the best event.” And then you feel badly about yourself and dive bomb into self-pity, depression, or blame. All of which is fodder for your negative ego to torture you. And is it true? NO! Only if you tell yourself it is. You can either believe it was the best ever and you missed it because you are a loser, or you can realize that while others may have had fun, great, that’s for them. You create exactly what you need for you.
I have seen FOMO be used at the age when everybody is getting married and having babies. “Too bad you’re not, you’re missing out. What’s wrong with you that you can’t find the right guy/girl?” Nice huh? This bypasses all truths of Divine timing and trusting your instincts, as well as creating relationships from love, not a fear of being alone or left out. Because let me tell you, relationships that are based on ulterior motives do not have staying power, nor do they bring happiness.
It’s not always an obvious hook either, sometimes it’s subtle. I do not generally have issues with FOMO, but I have recognized a big hook my negative ego uses which is fear of missing out around information and learning. “I need that class, I need this one too, and oh, this one has great information!” Yes- they do. AND they prevent me from being in present time and using all that information if I am constantly acquiring more. And what is the result? Again, anxiety.
Start to notice how your negative uses FOMO against you. The more conscious you become, the greater your ability to take your power back and make an informed choice, not a fear one. With some things that trigger that FOMO, stop and ask yourself if what you’re wanting is really right for you right now, or if your choice is driven by fear.
You may need to talk to the parts of you that are still in pain from being left out on the playground at school or in sports etc. Tell those parts, “I’m so sorry you are in pain. I’m sorry we went through what we did. I’m an adult now and I may not always be where everyone else seemingly is and that’s ok. That’s safe. We’re not alone, we won’t be ostracized, it’s safe for me to put my attention on the now and what I most need in this moment. There are so many amazing things about me, I will no longer allow the lie of missing out to control me.” Say it as often as needed, and in any wording you prefer, while bringing yourself into present time.
And then trust, because under that fear is a lack of trust. You are exactly where you need to be in this moment. Everything is working out in your highest and best good. You cannot be everywhere at once. There is nothing lacking or missing in present time. Take your attention off of others, stop comparing yourself to them, and place your attention back on you. That’s where your power is. Own that.
Me, Tina Germain, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be!