I wrote a few weeks ago about how your family may not be able to see you in present time, but do you see them in present time? And not just them, other friends and loved ones?
I made that mistake recently- getting stressed out by something that I assumed (yes, I know the saying!) would happen based on a past incident. But that assumption kept me out of present time and unable to see the person before me as they are in this moment. I wasn’t being fair to them by keeping them in their box from the past, just as I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me. When I realized that not only had I changed, but they had too, we were able to have an amazing time together. It goes both ways! So, before you see family, allow the possibility that the relationship can be in present time; especially if you’ve been working on yourself. If the relationship has shifted in a positive way, fantastic. If it hasn’t, that’s okay, just keep yourself in the now moment and re-read the blog from Nov 23rd for helpful tips.
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It’s that time of year again; time to find your word for 2023!
For those of you who are new to my blogs, this is based on a John Gordon blog I read, maybe seven years ago. In it, he suggested picking one word for the upcoming year, versus creating resolutions that only make you feel badly if you can’t fulfill them. In his words, “just one word that gives meaning, mission, passion and purpose. One word that will help me be my best.” I love this idea and have been using it ever since. For those who picked a word for 2022, was it successful? Did it help you grow and become more? Celebrate yourself if so. If not and you forgot about it, don’t beat yourself up. This isn’t something to add stress, it’s something to inspire you and help you create your reality. Your word(s) can be anything that you’re wanting to infuse into 2023: inner peace, self-actualization, fun, compassion, self-love, play, creative expression- the list is endless. Make sure the word is actionable and not just a concept. I’ve made that mistake, lol. Twice I chose a word that I wanted to infuse into my year, but the word wasn’t easy to focus on daily. However, the year I choose “wisdom,” that was a perfect choice for me. Daily I could ask if the choices I was making were wise or not. I still use the word “wisdom’ constantly as a touch stone, as using it continually for a year had a profound effect on how I operate in the world. Same with the year “self-love” was my word. I could easily check if my choices were loving towards myself, or discounting of what I needed. So, sit with it. There are no wrong answers regarding your word; it’s very personal. Sometimes you’ll choose it, and sometimes it chooses you. Either way, you’ll know. You’ll feel in your gut that that word is the word for you. And no pressure by the way, it doesn’t have to be perfect! You may even change it a couple times until you find the right fit; I have. Once you have your word, write it in big letters somewhere that you’ll read it each day. And not just a passing glance, but truly, “how can I bring this word into action today?” Next, see that word infused throughout 2023. Imagine a calendar and visualize your word woven throughout the days and months. Imagine that word opening you up to possibilities, insights, changes, and personal growth. As you focus on it daily or weekly, you’ll find that you may be led to experiences, books, and talks etc., that are exactly what you need to learn and hear to help you grow and have more of that word in your reality. If you want, share your word with me and I’ll support you in your growth. Happy choosing and may your word transform your 2023!!! The holiday season can bring up a lot!
For those without family or who are feeling isolated and alone, make sure that you do something nice for yourself; whatever that means to you. It can be extremely painful right now so any kindness you show yourself can go a long way. For those who will be with families and are worried about family dynamics, refer to the last blog and start shifting the energy with forgiveness now. The other thing to do, is to set yourself up for success before you see family. Steps to Success: -Acknowledge that yes, your feelings are valid, AND your family may never be able to hear or see you in present time. They may be stuck in the past, but you don’t need to be. Don’t revert back to child or adolescent behaviors. Hear what thoughts and beliefs come up in your mind and change them in the now. Your family is not the boss of your reality creation, YOU ARE! -Process your feelings and emotions when you're on your own, and give yourself what you need, versus expecting it to come externally from your family. -Take your power back, especially if you tend to surrender it to your parents or other family members. -Watch your expectations. Do not visualize worst-case scenarios. Choose what you want to see. Keep choosing to see peace or harmony. Don't let the part of your mind that goes negative rule the show. Create a positive outcome. You have the power of thought and the power of choice, never forget that! -In that vein, acknowledge and release your negative ego before you walk in the door so that you don't fall into old patterns of victimhood or blame. Silence that negative voice and banish it to the outside. Release what you can of any shame, need to control, need for perfection, rage, self-pity, and martyr ahead of time. -Boundaries are key. Don't surrender your energy to another; hold your energy around you. Put yourself in a protective energy bubble of gold or violet light. Emotionally, if someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer or that makes you uncomfortable, change the subject or say, “Why do you ask?” or “I prefer not to discuss that.” It’s OK to say “No,” literally or figuratively. Immediately before seeing anyone: -Ground yourself and get yourself in present time* and rooted into your body because family can spin you out. This is the best thing you can do to create an empowered experience. -Remind yourself that you are safe. You, present time adult you, creates safety. Don’t give that power away externally. If it feels awful with family and truly isn’t a safe place, leave! You've got to remember your needs, especially if you're under any sort of duress. You have to take care of yourself and put that oxygen mask on first. Now, that doesn’t give you an excuse to match their behavior and act badly. Release any righteousness or desire to punish. BE the adult. Which means: -If you're getting triggered, leave the room. Excuse yourself and go breathe. If everyone else is melting down, you don't need to join. You're human so you may fall into old patterns of behavior; that's OK!! Forgive yourself and course correct. And if you do all the above and it still goes sideways, try not to dive bomb. Sometimes energy and experiences shift immediately, and sometimes it takes time. Just keep doing your best to stay empowered in present time. Afterwards: -Separate out energy! Give them back their energy and call yours back to you. -Ground again. Whether you got triggered or not, get yourself back into your body in the now. Release any mental chatter. Imagine closing the door on all conversations from the night. Be compassionate with yourself; it starts with you. You got this! Red words link to previous blogs. *I updated this video from a prior blog; it's a specific tapping you can do that anchors you in present time. Two other helpful blogs: Healing Your Nervous System and 12 Ways to Alleviate Anxiety and Panic Never underestimate the power of forgiveness; it’s a powerhouse!
The topic of forgiveness has been coming up more and more in sessions recently. Even though I've written about it a lot, there's always more to learn, and it's always a good reminder if you've forgotten; especially with both the holidays fast approaching, and the state of the world right now. Forgiveness creates freedom for yourself. You can do it for your situation. You can do it for anything that's causing you distress and upset. You can do it to release and transcend the issue at hand. There's nothing too small, nor too big that doesn't benefit from forgiveness. It can be a simple, “I forgive and release myself for why ever I’m in this situation. I forgive and release myself for why ever I'm experiencing it.” Or using the Ho'oponopono; which I love. As a reminder, it’s four lines that you can use in any order: I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you. You can detail it such as, “I love you self. I'm so sorry this is causing upset. Please forgive me for why ever we’re experiencing it. Thank you.” You can change up the lines as well: “I'm so sorry we're going through this. Please forgive me for why ever we’re allowing it in our reality. I love you so much self. Thank you for helping me release it.” Or just say the words without details, while thinking of whatever it is that's causing you distress, but saying it to yourself. (Read my previous blog with more information) Here's an example of personal forgiveness from my own reality: Recently while healing from Covid, I was frustrated that it was lingering and that I kept testing positive. So, one night before bed, I started doing deep forgiveness work. I started with, "I forgive myself for why ever I still have Covid in my space. I forgive myself for allowing it. I forgive myself for it continuing. I forgive myself for whatever I'm learning from it or haven't learned from it, that I'm still holding onto. I forgive myself for whatever benefit I'm getting from having Covid in my space. I forgive any negative payoffs I have regarding illness, or Covid itself. I forgive anywhere that it's getting me out of doing things. I forgive any old patterns of self-pity. I forgive whatever issues allowed me to be susceptible to it in the first place. I forgive Covid, and I forgive myself for getting it. I forgive and release anything and everything regarding Covid. I'm choosing radiant health instead.” That’s a summary as I did a good 15 minutes of forgiving everything that came to mind. I meant it, I felt it, and I kept choosing wellness and healing. Lo and behold, the next morning I tested negative. Now let me say, that I’ve been doing forgiveness work for years, so my response time is quick now. Don’t allow frustration if yours isn’t as fast as mine, keep at it. Personal forgiveness can be used for any issue that’s negatively impacting you. You can forgive yourself for anywhere that an old pattern is continuing, for holding onto a belief system, for still experiencing the world as unsafe. There’s no limit. At the end of forgiveness work, always add what you choose to see instead: peace, solutions, vitality, etc. You have to be willing to take responsibility for, change, and release what no longer serves you. I recognize that for some of you it may start as just words, however if you can get feeling behind the words and feel the energy in your heart, it will expand the forgiveness even deeper. Words start the process of self-compassion and a willingness to let yourself off the hook for any “mistakes,” but if it stays just words, it’ll only take you so far. You’re not perfect, you won’t do life perfectly. We all make mistakes, it’s part of being human. Can you forgive yourself for them and move forward, or are you choosing to stay in self-punishment and self-blame instead? Only YOU can free yourself. Even if you’re doing forgiveness work because someone else is upsetting you or negatively impacting your reality, start with you; free yourself first. You’re not doing the forgiveness work for the other person, you’re do it for you. Because you want to set yourself free from the trauma. Sometimes our greatest nemeses are our greatest teachers, so forgive yourself for bringing them into your reality. For whatever part of you drew them in; especially if it’s family. That requires consistency; it’s not a one and done. When you add forgiveness as a regular healing tool, be prepared for miracles to occur. Give yourself that gift of freedom. (To learn more forgiveness tools and techniques, look at the "forgiveness" category to the right) People always ask me what they can do in their life to have the most impact. But what if your greatest impact is in the way you live your daily life?
I know, that seems so simple and even potentially boring, but when you think about it, is it? You actually impact the world every day. Every day you choose whether to treat people with kindness and courtesy, or with dismissive anger and righteousness. Every day you choose whether to take the highroad, or to sink into the lowest version of yourself. By each choice that you make on a daily basis, you’re impacting the world. And the examples above are regarding the people you actually talk to and are in the vicinity of. What if you will also have profound impact on people you’ve never met, nor ever will meet? The premise that someone who will never know your name yet can be impacted by you; that’s a big responsibility. It shows you that what you put out in your personal world shifts the overall vibration of the world at large for good, or for bad, and has repercussions. Of course many of you want to make significant positive impact where people know you and learn from you; that’s a beautiful goal and never underestimate the little things. If you’re always waiting to do something “big,” you’re negating the impact you have every single day. Plus, how you operate on a daily basis is indicative of how you would operate on a larger scale. Be responsible for your thoughts, words, emotions, and actions in your own reality and live by example. When you can be responsible for that impact and show up as the highest version of you, you change and the world changes. Simply by your presence you have phenomenal impact. This is how you “be the change.” Start today. I’m a rule follower; I like to follow the rules… except when I don’t. I have this dichotomy of being an extreme rule follower, and then rebelling against rules; especially rules that make no sense.
Yet sometimes, I can get so caught up in doing things “perfectly” that I don’t think to question the rules I’m following. This happened recently in my Master’s class. The instructor was talking about finding out what color each chakra wants to be each day. At first, I rejected that idea, as all the chakras have their colors, right? But then the more I listened to her, the more it made sense that maybe for the most part chakras are a specific color, but what if sometimes they’re not? What if your body is trying to tell you that for you, the color green is the most representative of safety and security and so that’s what color you prefer in your first chakra? Maybe that color helps you to heal versus the traditional red. Who says you have to have red if you need green? When you think about it, we’re all individual, who says our chakras all match? Maybe, you’re an outlier in the colors that work best for you. I worked on a client recently and we were doing intensive chakra healing and I told her that each of her chakras wanted to be in the red/pink/orange color scheme. That made perfect sense to her as those colors represented the vitality she was looking to create in her physical body. When she filled those colors into her chakras, she felt more vibrant than she had in a long time. Trust yourself versus what you’ve always been told. I don’t know about you, but this idea is phenomenally freeing to me. Yes on a typical day I go with the usual colors, but every so often I’ll get a message that a different color is much better that day in a specific chakra and when I listen and I allow it, it feels so good in my body. I encourage you this week to see what actually works for you versus what you’ve always been taught is correct. See if there are colors you need in certain areas of your body to bring healing. Bypass the “rules” that you’ve been taught. Connect with yourself and your needs and let that override anything else. What better way to create self-trust and self-love, than to listen to your needs above all else. Break the rules and set yourself free. It’s that fun time again that you all love, Oracle Cards!
I asked what each person who picked, i.e. card number one, needed to know or needed to heal during these next few months of Fall Equinox. As always, center yourself, breathe, ask your unseen team which card is right for you, get out of your head, trust your gut, then pick a number between 1-4. If you always choose a specific number, don’t automatically pick it; allow yourself to be led to the message/number you most need right now. And as I’ve told you before, if your card doesn’t resonate, dig deeper. There’s a reason you pulled it, don’t just dismiss it. Why did you pick that one? What part of you has a message there? And if it does resonate, great! Happy picking and may your number bring you clarity and insight! Card One Card Two Card Three Card Four *Reminder- I'm out of the country soon so all emails etc. will be returned on October 17th! See you then!! There’s such an obsession with good and bad; is something you do good, or is it bad?
Religions have amped this up to the nth degree; there’s no gray area. And what gets lost? Pleasure. Joy. Because if you’re constantly judging whether something you do or eat or experience is good or bad, there’s no room to be human and to explore, experiment, and enjoy life. Instead, you could ask yourself, “Is this something that would benefit me, or harm me? Is this something that will elevate me, or diminish me?” We use the idea of good or bad with emotions as well. Anger is bad, selflessness is a virtue. But is that true? Anger can be super useful, positive, and motivating. Selflessness can be sacrificing and filled with martyrhood. As long as we believe in the black and white paradigm, we’re under the control of our mind. We’re not able to stay neutral and see if something is, as my friend Linda Foley reminds me, “Not good, not bad, just is.” I recently became aware of a dark past life of mine that needed releasing and healing. To remind you, we’re all here to learn from and live lives in the spectrum of lightest light, to the darkest dark. We want to experience the full range of what it is to be human, to ultimately come into the center. So, this past life of mine wasn’t easy to look at as I was the playing the role of what I deemed to be, "a villain." I immediately judged what I was doing in that lifetime as completely bad and wrong. In that judgment, I separated from myself and from neutrality and went into self-condemnation. It also made sense why others who act in a similar "villain" role now as to what I did then, receive the brunt of my rage this lifetime. In condemning them, and myself, there was no room for healing, understanding, or forgiveness. Thus, I created more separation from the light and Source energy, and that’s what we’re all here for; to release separation and come back to a sense of oneness with All That Is. To come home. You cannot be one with Source energy if you have judgment towards yourself or others. There’s no room for it in the true essence of love. In ultimately understanding why I would choose such a role and what that me believed to be true, I could forgive and release the past, and myself, from that prison. In healing that internal division, it brought more healing towards the division in the world. And we sure need that right now. As often as you can, come back to neutrality so you can live more of your light. Heal your own inner division of good versus bad, and you heal the world. It starts with you. A few weeks ago, I sent out a blog about “Alleviating Kickback,” in which I spoke of personal healing. Well, unfortunately a week after I sent it, my infection came back; it had never really healed to its core.
Why do I share this? Because sometimes we can think that we’ve healed an issue, only to have it come roaring back. And it doesn’t mean we’re bad or wrong, it means we're human and there are layers to issues. I’ve talked with enough of you to know that many people want a quick fix or want to be healed immediately and thereby feel shame if that doesn’t happen. But time is part of the healing process. In the continued healing of the infection, I uncovered issues from lifetimes ago that needed excavating and releasing. The infection wasn’t here out of cruelty, it was still present to bring my attention to the deeper blockages that needed clearing. If you’re dealing with a physical issue, instead of getting angry at it or punishing yourself for it, have compassion for yourself. Ask what message or healing it needs. If you keep berating yourself and getting mad, the stuck energy is going to get more and more entrenched. Whereas if you send forgiveness and light, you can uncover it and let it go. Maybe there’s a deep, deep wound that needs healing and attention. You have to identify it and do whatever technique is appropriate in order to move through it. Remember, if it took lifetimes to build or even just this lifetime, that’s a lot of energy built up over time. It may be complex and will take time to heal to its core. I recently heard Eileen McKusick say, “If your whole life has been spent in your pain body and your wounds, you have no idea what your light body and being centered looks like. It’s a process to move from your pain body to your light body. It happens in pieces.” Think about that- it happens in pieces. Patience, nurturing, love, self-care; all these will aid the pieces in reforming into your light. You are your best healing medicine. You make the choices and send the love to yourself. No one outside you can do that. So today, send love to the places stuck in pain and be willing to integrate them back into your light. Be gentle with yourself as you come into wholeness. It’s time to talk about… The List!
Some of you are familiar with this technique as I’ve taught it to you, or you’ve heard variations from other people. This is one of my favorite tools when creating something new. Essentially, it’s a directive to the Universe, and your subconscious, for a creation you wish to manifest. The most widely used topics for the list are a new relationship, a new career, or a new job, but really, you could write one for anything. The fastest I’ve ever seen the list work is a couple of weeks; a client was already going in for interviews and the list made it very clear which job was his actual desire. And my client knew what to ask for once he was specific in his needs because of his list. The longest I’ve seen is a couple years, but many pieces had to fall into place for that list to manifest. I think there’s something to be said for trusting the Divine timing which is why you create the list and then let it go. Also, just because you’ve created your list, doesn’t mean you stop working on yourself, quite the opposite actually. You’ve made your list, now who do you need to be to receive your desires? You need to expand into the version of yourself that lives that list. So, how do you do it? You may want to make a rough draft first, I always do. Start thinking about the qualities that you desire in your creation. Make notes for a few days. Write everything in present time, as if you already have it. If you were to meet your ideal partner, what attributes do they have? Think about what’s important to you, what you value, and go from there. Maybe you write, in whatever pronoun works best for you, “She/He/They treat me beautifully and always listen. We have lots of fun together. They are evolved and conscientious. We love to travel together and do so often. They are kind.” There are some things on your list that you may keep more general such as the quality of being kind, and other things might be quite specific. For example, a client added, “He’s good to my kids and treats them like his own.” If you’re super specific that your future mate must look a certain way and needs to have brown hair, that’s quite limiting. Go to the qualities versus the appearance. My husband is my exact list, it’s crazy! And I was pushed into it by my girlfriends, lol. But I imagined what my ideal husband would be like, and I wrote it all out. Six months later, voila. Although I will say I had been working on myself for years to be in the space to have the partner I dreamt of. As for a new career or job, again, list the attributes such as, “I wake up excited to go to work every day.” Then you can also add specifics such as, “I set my own hours” or “I work 9 to 5” – this is where what’s important to you comes through as everyone will be different. You could also say things such as “I love my coworkers” and “I have unlimited vacation time.” It’s up to you how much structure and how much freedom. Some people like a lot of structure, and some people want none. If it’s for a job, I recommend adding, “I now make X amount of money, or better.” Always add the “or better,” because why not get more? Regarding a new career, one of my favorite stories is of a client who during her job search, was willing to branch out into another field. She knew the job would entail writing, but beyond that she was open, so she focused on the qualities she’d love in a new job. Not only did she find an amazing job in a new field that greatly interested her, but her job took her writing skills to advanced levels and opened up a new career path. Because of that shift, years later when it was time to move on, after she made her new list, she found a job that has skyrocketed her career success. And all because she was open almost 10 years ago. I have another client who’s made her list regarding jobs multiple times, always elevating her career and manifesting her list. It’s so successful for her, that she’s told prior coworkers to do it. She also knew that leaving her last job was taking longer than planned (by a couple years), so even though she had her new list, she realized she wasn’t done with whatever lesson the current job held. She knew she needed to learn the lesson to let go and manifest her new list. And she did. As I said, do your internal work and trust the Divine timing. So, how to do it: -Take a blank piece of paper and hand write your desires to infuse your energy in. -At the top of the list write, “My ideal _____” -Then list the qualities/attributes, whatever is most important to you, in present time. Write as much or as little as you desire. “My husband really listens to me and loves to spend quality time together.” “Our values are aligned. We see the world the same way.” "We communicate like adults and can be completely honest with each other." “My job expands my confidence in my field.” “I am now Director of Marketing.” “My boss respects my opinion and implements my ideas.” “I can work from home.” "While my work is challenging in an exciting way, when my workday is done, it's done, and I have plenty of time for myself." Etc. etc. -At the end, sign it, date it, and write, “This or better now manifests for me, in the highest and best way, for my highest and best good, with harm to none.” -Then tuck it away into a safe place- only you are meant to see the list- and TRUST in the process. Let go of control, do the work necessary, and trust. Happy Creating!!! And share your success stories; I love them and will happily celebrate your wins!! |
AuthorMe, Tina Germain, just sharing ways to make you the best you can be! Archives
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